4 1/2 year old delays

by mommom
(pa)

I have a 4 1/2 year old grandchild with developmental delays in many areas but has never been diagnosed. He is not potty trained. He has frequent meltdowns over the smallest things, such as spilling his snack, someone touching one of his toys, etc. His speech is very poor, very hard to understand and he tends to rant about things that we can't even understand most of the time. He is usually upset or angry about things in general. Rarely is he happy. We've had so many ideas on our own as to what his problem could be but we cannot say anything because his dad won't admit that he has a problem. What could this be?

Comments for 4 1/2 year old delays

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Jun 28, 2011
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ask advice at school
by: Anonymous

I understand you. Try to reason your daughter to read the information on this site. Tell her that there are problems we do not know, but true.

Jun 27, 2011
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unfortunate
by: Anonymous

i think this is so common. it's hard to admit that your child or someone close to you has challenges or struggles. hard to acknowledge imperfection in a society that puts such value on 'being perfect and fitting the mold.'

i am a mother of a child with mild spd. in the beginning it was extremely difficult for my husband to acknowledge that our child struggled in ways that most other children did not. (this was largely due in part to his upbringing and background as a child.) but i went the path alone in the beginning because i knew if i did not, i would be failing my child and setting up even more issues for the future. my thought and instinct was, why not give my child the tools now, to deal with life, social boundaries, environmental challenges, .etc effectively instead of waiting until the issues become mountains instead of mole hills. RIGHT?!

if your daughter is open to talking with you about it, that may be where you start. if she is not, then perhaps you educate yourself about what things you think could possibly help this child and try them in the time you spend with your grandchild to see if there can be improvement in those things that are concerning. (if you are same vicinity to spend time with him/her.)

very unfortunate when this happens, because if there is an issue(s), there are so many great tools/therapies/books to give direction and make this so much easier on everyone involved.

i wish you well. you are a wise, concerned grandparent with eyes to see things that others some times cannot. this grandchild may need you to advocate for them if at all possible, in a way that will not be detrimental to the family dynamic. lucky to have you. :)

Jun 26, 2011
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hands are tied
by: Anonymous

Thanks for all of these helpful contents. I guess I didn't make myself clear enough in my first post. The father of this child is married to my daughter and he and the child's mother are doing nothing to help the child. My hands are totally tied and my daughters are pretty much tied too. Her husband, the childs father, gets defensive and angry when any of his childs oddities are pointed out. No effort on either of the child's parents part. But I do believe that this is very possibly the childs problem.

Jun 26, 2011
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more informations
by: Anonymous

is very true that mothers of children with SPD have to fight with their partners who often do not want to consider the relative difference in their children: doing so will prevent the possible aid and create other problems in the family denies objectives for children. Even for this reason, physicians should disseminate more information about the existence of these disorders in the world.

Jun 25, 2011
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Not alone
by: Anonymous

Hi, I have two children with similar situations. THe sensory issues can overwhelm a family, let alone the child. My oldest, at 6, still doesn't eat (fritos, sometimes) but manages to drink milk with supplements- and is healthy, strong, and tall. I don't know how.
It seems almost normal that fathers don't accept differences in their children; I see many broken families because the father is in denial (and the mother is doing everything to help their child).
See a neurologist with the list of issues and an OT to understand the sensory aspect of what's affecting your child.
You are not alone and things do get better. The potty training can just be a function of development- eventually, their bodies function as expected.

Jun 22, 2011
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SPD
by: Anonymous

I would ask the mother of the child with SPD light and strong aversion to food that is the treatment of the speech therapist. I am in the same situation and I do not know how to improve the severe food aversion suffered by two girls in my family. Thank you and see who can help me.

Jun 22, 2011
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My son is like that...
by: Anonymous

I don't have any advice, but your description of your grandson is so much like my 2 1/2 year old that its almost a relief to know I'm not alone.
My son has seen an OT and was diagnosed with mild SPD, but has been through therapy which was good and doesn't have many sensory issues any more. His biggest issue is with food and transitioning. We see a speech therapist once a week for sever food aversions and we're making little progress, but some.

My boy is often angry, generally upset, difficult to understand and all around upset regularly. I don't know who to talk to - is it just a phase, is it nutritional needs...It sounds like we are having the same mystery and frustrations. Good luck speaking with your pediatrician, I'd love to hear what they say and what direction you go with your 4year old.

Jun 22, 2011
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Comments for 4 1/2 child delays
by: Anonymous

It's a pity the child's father does not want to admit the child has a problem. He may be right and there may be nothing wrong. Yet, its up to the mother and you to do something about it because the child may suffer without being diagnosed and without getting proper help. It cannot harm the child if you tell his pediatrician about your doubts and fears. Let the doctor be the one to diagnose. If something is indeed wrong, then you can get help. If nothing is wrong medically, then you can relax and help the child overcome his problems using different methods that a professional can advise.

Jun 22, 2011
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SPD or other?
by: Anonymous

What you describe is known to me. I can tell you that it is important to report to the developmental pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist who presented the problems your baby doctor will .Il give the right advice and help, also ask to be explained to his father, the nature of your child's discomfort. I wish good things for you.

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