5 year old can't play by herself

by Trista
(Canada)

I'm wondering what I have done wrong and if my daughter has sensory issues. She has never ever played alone. She seems aimless and bored unless I play with her and I am exhausted. She still flaps her arms in great excitement and opens her mouth when she does this.


She's having trouble at school with the noise levels although she is handling it externally, she is always telling me she can't handle the noise.

She can't stand sitting in one place at school when they have to sit for circle time but she does it anyway because she says she knows she has to but she complains and cries when she comes home.

She still has her soother after school because she seems to need it. One doctor recommended gum but she says it's not the same.

She's also having problems making friends. She holds back and doesn't really interact directly with the other children.

The two main issues are the not ever playing alone and never has been able to and the flapping. Could she have SPD? or is this something I have failed to do as her mother?
Who would I see about this?

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Nov 02, 2011
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Thank you
by: Trista

You've both been so supportive. Thank you so much. I'm definitely going to take this further. It's hard to see your child struggling in any way at all. The flapping is noticeable to all, the other things may not be that visible to other people but her tears are enough for me to know I have to move on this. Again, thank you tremendously.

Nov 02, 2011
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sounds familiar
by: Anonymous

i'm sure that this has nothing to do with your as a parent, sounds like your daughter may have an auditory processing issue and be oversensitive to things (noises)in her environment?

as a parent of a child with an spd diagnosis, that sounds very similar to what you have described with your daughter), i would urge you to seek professional help now to get your daughter plugged in with someone who understands the neurological part of this disorder. an ot can help you and her learn some new tools and coping strategies that can surely help with some of the current issues. my son has been seeing an ot for about 3 years and he's made STRIDES. he's able to play better alone, hand flapping has decreased, he's able to self-sooth and regulate himself better, etc. but i believe it's due largely in part because of working with our fabulous OT!

there is a link on this site to help you locate a qualified OT.

http://portal.wpspublish.com/portal/page?_pageid=53,83247&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL

also, i would go through the 'symptoms checklist' if you haven't already. it may give you some more insight as to your daughters challenges and then you will be able to present that to an ot for beginners.

i am of the opinion that when we are parents (mothers) feel like our children are struggling or that something is 'different' and it's impeding their abilities and daily living functionality, it's time to advocate for them and get help. :) good luck.

Nov 02, 2011
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SPD?
by: Anonymous

Dear Trist, you do not have any fault of the problems of your child. I know these issues closely. could be a developmental disorder. talk to your pediatrician or pediatric neurologist development.

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