Adult oversensitive to people.

by Chris
(FL)

I began seeing a therapist for issues in my marriage and a husband with a possible personality disorder. I was expressing to her my anxiety about getting a job. Ever since I can remember I have had a difficult focusing and functioning when people are near me. I thought it was low self esteem. She told me she thinks it is SPD.


My brain seems to shut down and I can now longer think straight. This happens at home, the store , anywhere. I can be doing something I am totally confident and skilled at but as soon as someone comes in close range of me I start to panic and start to zone out. I began to realize some other things that affect me as well. I am very sensitive to someone touching me. Even by accident. If I am sitting near someone and their foot or leg touches mine, it's all I can focus on. I don't feel grossed out or anything. I just become fully aware of it and can't think of anything else. I am ok if I am the one initiating the touching, otherwise I panic inside.

I especially hate having my face touched. My husband has a hard time respecting this and then acts like I am being cold or insensitive when I shrug away. After 26 years you would think he'd get it. My therapist says one way to control the part about not functioning when people are around me is to use visualization techniques. To visualize taking control of the person. She said she had a patient that would imagine grabbing the person by the ankles and putting them in the trash can!

I can not seem to do a visualization. It's very strange to me. Any ideas? We will be working on breathing exercises next time. And does anyone have this sort of problem with people. I have read a lot about SPD but haven't seen this example of a symptom. I am thinking maybe it is something else.

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Aug 27, 2011
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Re: People
by: Anonymous

One of my son's stutters and has sensory integration issues. Now all of my sister's boys have the same issues as does my father. I have a 9 y/o daughter and twin 7 y/o boys. They can be very aggressive with each other and it drives me crazy (I'm 47). The past 2 summers when I have had to be home with them for 10 weeks straight, I literally loose my mind and shut down. I want to curl up and go away. I don't want to clean the house at all when they are around and the house looks like a tornado blew through it. Now that they are back in school, I can take my time in peace and start to clean up the house. I know that I have to have sensory integration issues. I hope to find help. So to the original poster of the above, you are not alone.

Apr 02, 2011
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IT IS NOW CLEAR....
by: Anonymous

I've finally made sense of so many things I have "written off" and/or "categorized" as quirks in my life.

I'm constantly struggling to express to my husband how his daily routines are "overwhelming" to me. I know that he can't understand completely why I "complain" about the music being way too loud in the car or asking him to turn down the fan in our room because it's too loud. I have always just considered myself to have "super sonic hearing." However, I also have noticed that at times I don't even "hear" my husband talking to me.... not because I'm not listening.. I just do not hear him..

I began to wonder if I could be suffering from SPD instead of ADD/anxiety and/or if it is the cause of me having them. After learning that two of my brother's each had a child with a sensory disorder I began to look at myself and my family. My mother since I can remember has always been extremely sensitive to sounds, movement, touch, etc. I used to think she was just being "a party pooper" when she didn't want to listen to music in the car.

I struggle with physical touch while I strongly desire to be touched it only feels good "under the right circumstances." I do not like being touched while or when I'm trying to do anything else,because I can't think/feel anything but the touch..even as a child I hated for my mom to rub my back when I was sick.she would attempt to sooth me,but it just made me feel worse and intensified the whole experience.Now, I struggle to adapt/cope with my husband's behaviors and my response to them.He likes to play with my hair when were in the car, but I can't stand the feeling of it.I also don't like the "feeling" of being kissed on my face or my face touched at all... but, most of all I am turned off my any and all touch that isn't expected or initiated by me or too fast for me to "feel coming." If I am touched more firmly and slowly I enjoy it.. I also love to be hugged or embraced laying down firmly. But, I do not like anything moving to touch me and I get motion sickness from movement.


Mar 19, 2011
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Suggestions for Touches from Spouse
by: Anonymous

I too have some SPD issues. I was also molested by a neighbor as a child. In order to overcome, or at least deal with my oversensitivity to touch, I had to take more control and responsibility. First, I realized that most men are more physical in relationship than women. We tend to talk more and think emotionally. Men wrestle and punch their friends... and communicate through touch. To be a loving spouse, I needed to find a way to be more physical and make his needs a priority. But how?

I told him what I was feeling emotionally and physically from the SPD. We worked it out by him agreeing to not be "touchy feely" while I am trying to do other things, because I can't concentrate and he will get his feelings hurt thinking I am rejecting him. Instead, he asks me if I'd like to cuddle. Then, I can prepare myself mentally and focus on him. I can initiate (control) when and how, which helps me. I also found I can tolerate deep massage better than soft rubbing. He adjusted his technique.

Hope you can find a good compromise. Men need the physical contact to feel loved, just like we need to hear they love us and appreciate us.

Mar 13, 2011
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Sensitive to touch
by: Anonymous

I work with children with sensory disorders as well as my child and very much understand what they are going through. I love my husband but somedays I cannot stand when he touches me. I just cringe and want to cry. And he grabs my butt or wants to rub my leg or arm every single day!! So hard sometimes because he gets offended. I wish I did not feel like this. I feel bad because he is trying so show affection and attention. Any tips??

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