Always Different

I am well educated, but I feel like I know a lot but I don' t really seem to know the way other people know. I am always at odds with others, and I really don't understand why, so I will not easily give up my ideas. I am often told that I am not a team player, I hate group and teamwork because everyone seems to slack off and not really care. My work ethic is very strong, but my standards are too high and I work too slowly.

I often miss subtle cues a and need to be told when to give people space, or do not know when or how to end a conversation. I usually walk away thinking that the person I was talking to must think I am strange. I never know whether to wait or interrupt if I need to ask someone something and they are busy, whether alone or in conversation. I never think there is enough time to get anything done and find it hard to judge how long something will take, how well to do it or even how it should turn out.

I dry wretch at all kinds of smells and certain textures of food. Chewing is sometimes hard, I cannot have to much in my mouth at one time. Animal products are my biggest food challenge, fat, gristle, jelly like stuff make me gag.I often have to take my shoes and long sleeves off so I can eat or I get too hot and nauseous. I am a messy eater and drinker.

I either cannot stay still or I cannot get motivated. I hold my breath a lot, especially when concentrating. I cannot play video games, except wii and still only some things. I was a great gymnast, till I got scared of falling and hurting myself. I always hated the game " heads down. , thumbs up". I was very scared of the toilet flushing as a child.

I hate any kind of engine noise, they are just wrong. I have the radio and tv up loud. I often cannot understand what other tell me, like mixing up lyrics in a song, but when someone is quite close to me. I often say what, then understand what was said. I often only hear the end of a sentence. I ask a lot of questions but often will give up because I do not want to ask a frustrated person to repeat themselves again. I just hope it wasn't important.

I never used to get cold, then I went to Arizona for 6 months at 15 and when I got back to Australia I started getting cold. I sleep with lots of blankets and prefer soft Comfy clothes. I love pulling my socks up, tight shoes and hats and beanies. I do not like things loose and flapping on my skin. I am ticklish but cannot tickle, except children. I often drop and break things. I react to sudden noises by jumping. I often kick or hit my partner when trying to cuddle. I often cannot open things because I am scared I will apply too much pressure and break them.

I sing, dance, jump, spin, talk too much and will not stop, or I am down, still and quiet. I get very absorbed in things. I always have to have something occupying me, if I don't want to do what I should I will do anything to keep me busy, even just staring and moving a part of my bodies for ages. I hate waking up, and going to sleep, but I love dreaming and sleeping. I am always in trouble for being rude and making inappropriate facial gestures.

It's me, but I feel a bit better knowing I am not alone.