Anger out of control - for how long?

by Joanne
(Spokane, WA, USA)

I have a 7 year old son, who's finally learning how to manage his anger. He has trouble putting his thoughts together. His mind runs so fast, but the words won't come out right and he becomes very frustrated.


The best thing I found as a Mom who has unlimited love for my son who has SPD is to go for a walk with him when the tantrum goes on too long. All I could think of when he's having a meltdown is, if I'm exhausted, imagine how he must feel. Even though he would be mad, putting the shoes on and getting some fresh air really helps. I don't talk to him unless he wants me to. If he wants to talk, I will listen.

It's a great exercise for him to try to get his thoughts in order, and just calm down and know I'm here. If he's still angry while we are walking, we return to the house and I gently explain to him that he needs to have a time-out in his room - with an open door. It seemed strange to give a 5/6 year old a time out, but it really worked. He would find something to do in his room and end up writing me a note. They find their way somehow. Just be patient. He hasn't had a meltdown in about a year now. I think he has found his way.

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tkank you so much
by: Anonymous

What can I say I needed your words.

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advice
by: Anonymous

Thanks Joanne for your testimony. Any suggestion of this site is useful and makes us feel less alone. good luck.

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Excellant idea
by: Anonymous

My son is 8 yrs old and diagnosed with SPD a couple years ago. We struggle daily with anger management issues. We have 4 boys and its tough, because one child with SPD will change the entire dynamics of your household. Recently my father was at our house for the holidays and took our son on a nature walk (just the two of them) and when they returned he was so calm and content - it was almost tear-jerking for us. Before he left for that walk, he was bouncing off the walls hyper (holidays are tough with SPD kids - I think). Anyways, we haven't tried this technique ourselves but WILL do so immediately to see if we get the same results as described. I thought it was a fluke thing with my father and son's walk together, perhaps there was much more to it. This site is so informative - thanks so much!

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puberty
by: Anonymous

My son was much like that at a young age. He is now 13 and is having a hard time with anger again. We are trying to find something that works now. I am thinking that the more stimulated he gets with activities the faster the anger can be instigated.

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same
by: Anonymous

I use the same idea for my sons meltdown. The only big difference is that the bigger the meltdown... the faster we walk. We burn up the bad energy so we can have a good talk if need be. when he decides that he doesn't want to talk about it i simply ask "do you understand what just happened?"

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shew...
by: Anonymous

Thank you for posting that. My son is 5 1/2 and my husband and I think that some days he's used up all our energy. Most days feel like he laughs in our faces and we can tell by looking at his face that his mind is going 100 mph. He does know right from wrong but in the heat of the moment chooses "the wrong" instead of the right. So glad to know this wont last forever.

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