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At wits end!?

by Clark
(Peoria)

For about the last 4 yrs, my 8yr old son has been battling many of the items on the checklist. My wife and I have not taken him to a doctor because we felt he would outgrow this as would a normal child with the different phases that occur throughout their childhood.

Background:
Motor skills are weak, but he has no cognitive problems in school. He has great grades and is a complete angel at school or while playing with other children at their homes. At our home, he does fine, but will have an occasional tantrum that lasts up to 2 hours. Sometimes he has 3-5 tantrums per week.


Commonalities occurring are his defiance with clothing. Socks do not always feel right. He won't wear his underwear and pants can be troublesome at times. He wears shoes with velcro straps, but complains they are not tight enough. Many of these items are right on according to the checklist, but he has one very disturbing addition. He will continually repeat he wishes he were dead when things seem at their worst. As a parent, this is the absolute most difficult thing to hear. We are both professionals. She teaches 2nd grade and I am a firefighter. We spend a great deal of time with him and his 3 siblings (ages 12, 5, & 5). He gets a great deal of 1 on 1 time because we thought that might be a piece of the puzzle. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear to have much effect. We are setting up an appointment with the family physician to explore diagnosis' and treatments. My fear is medications and/or psychological problems, but we won't jump the gun just yet. We are taking this one step at a time and thus far the hardest part is just taking the first step.

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At wits end!?

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Nov 16, 2009
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take heart
by: Anonymous

I have a kiddo who is now 30 and in college. He still has sensory issues but is functioning well has a sweetie and things are looking up.
Developmentally he had many of the same symptoms you describe. We did deep pressure, indirect lighting, a variety of music low in the background (he now has great taste in music and works pt time as a DJ).

When he was tested in K his teacher thought he was cognitively delayed. The opposite was true he was off the charts at the high end.
As much as he hated school he loved learning.
We got through the early years easily enough using brushing, deep pressure, joint compression and heavy play (he had a dirt bike)
It got harder when the hormones hit and he did require some intense work in the area of self regulation. This improved when he quit school and got his GED.

Now we are back to the beginning of this missive where he's 30 and in college.

I wrote this so you would know there is hope and these kiddos do improve. enjoy the good times and breathe through the bad. Try family Yoga it does help.

NOTE: Having a diagnosis can be a double edged sword as it follows long past the school years and can effect college and future employment. On the other hand it does get services that are necessary. Also be wary of meds they can be prescribed for one thing when something else is really the problem and they come with awful side effects. Thoroughly research any drugs that are suggested. It may be more difficult going drug free but in the long run avoiding the side effects and working hard in short spurts to teach coping skills really is the best choice.

Virtually any kid can learn in 5-15 minute blocks.

Nov 04, 2009
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know SPD
by: Anonymous

hello maria is classic behavior in SPD children, they can not happy for they have anxiety. I wish you a better future life.

Nov 01, 2009
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New TO SPD
by: Maria

My 7 year old son displays many of the signs on the check list too. Clark, like you my son says things like that as well. He seems to never get enough attention and is constantly needy. He always feels like he is a terrible person. He is always saying " everyone hates me " it is so difficult to know what to do for him. We have an appointment to get a referral to an OT. Has anyone dealt with severe insecurities and constant meltdowns?

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