Childrens fears???

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Childrens fears???

by Michelle Rubin
(MA)

My son was recently diagnosed with SPD. He also has excessive fears. Mostly around being alone, going anywhere in the house by himself.

This has become problematic with my 2 other children. He now follows me around the house!
I could go on for hours but the fear of being alone is most concerning.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

I am not sure if it's part of the disorder or something else entirely?

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Childrens fears???

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Feb 07, 2012
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fears/anxiety too
by: Anonymous

My 9 year old has fears like that too. He had a panic attack when staying over at a friends house last summer, and ever since then is worse. He has to have someone lay down next to him just to get to sleep. MY OT wasn't any help.

Dec 06, 2011
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Afraid to go to sleep alone
by: Anonymous

My son was always afraid to be alone in a room in the house or even to go to be by himself. I would always have to lie with him until he was asleep. Takes quite a bit of time out of my evening schedule. However, occupational therapy helped a lot. After one month in therapy he was going to the bathroom alone, going to sleep alone and able to go to different rooms in the house without bringing a family member with him. (Good thing he had a very compliant younger sister :) ) It's amazing how therapy changed him. Even getting ready for school and doing homework was getting easier. Thank God for occupational therapy!!!!!!

Nov 02, 2010
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First hand experience
by: Anonymous

I was the same way when I was younger (and I'm still sort of that way, even though I'm 16) It's really, really scary to be alone when your clothes hurt you and sudden smells make you nauseous and loud noises send you into panics, all you want to do is keep your parents close to you because you feel they are able to somehow help. My mother said that when I was a baby I would scream myself sick unless I was held constantly- she held me in the shower, on the toilet, and even had to co-sleep with me. Even though I'm a teenager, I still rely on my mother sometimes to soothe me from a panic attack. Something that helped for us was for me to have something I really liked (for me it was books and dolls, but for your child it could be trains or a movie etc.) and doing that while slowly increasing the distance (i.e. my mom would start working on one side of the room and I'd be on the other, then she would be in an adjacent room, then she would be upstairs, etc.)

I know it's frustrating, but it gets better! Have hope!

Sep 05, 2010
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Wow! More common then I thought
by: Rachel

My six year old daughter is also very fearful. It must be pretty common with spd and if you think about it you can understand why! I mean with many of these kids everyday activities are startling and even painful to them so it makes sense that they would be scared and clingy to their parents.

My daughter does not like to be alone either and it is frustrating especially when I also have a younger child to look after as well. She has actually peed on herself several times when I couldnt go to the potty with her! One thing that has helped us is positive reinforcement. I use a sticker chart for her highlighting specific issues Id like to improve. One category is facing fears, so everytime she faces a fear- even a very small one- she gets a sticker. When her chart is full she gets a new toy. I agree that it is good to encourage the child to face their fears as long as they are not being forced to, which would only make it worse.

Aug 19, 2010
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bedtime and fear
by: Rae

My 7 year old was diagnosed with SPD at around age 3 basically because of his severe food aversions. We did OT for that for a year, but did not help much. I have been focusing so much on his eating that all other aspects of the SPD has just been pushed on a back burner especially the sleep and fear issues. Everyone said it was a phase and he would grow out of it. He is 7 and it is the worst it has ever been. He needs me in his bed next to him in order to even relax enough to consider sleep. He will wake up as soon as he realizes I am no longer there. This means for 7 years I have been up every night numerous times a night. Finally because I work full time and was exhausted I just stay in his bed all night so both him and I can get some sleep. When I ask him why? what he is afraid of he cannot seem to give me an answer. He doesn't know. At times in the middle of the day he will panic when he realizes that he doesn't know where in the house I am. It is all exhausting. Is this from his SPD or is this just a psychological issue? Who can help me? An OT or a psychologist/psychiatrist??? My pediatrician has been no help. I need help from a professional because I have tried all the tricks and nothing works.

Sep 07, 2009
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Childrens Fears
by: Anonymous

You are not alone. My son is 7 and still will not go to bed by himself. He is completely afraid of the dark and what is under his bed. Even sometimes in the day time if I shut his bedroom door while he is in it, he will completely panic. We live in a very small house where all the rooms are right next to each other and I am literally sitting right outside his bedroom door when I watch tv at night. This still doesn't help.

I still have to stay with him until he falls asleep or he sometimes just falls asleep in my bed and then I move him to his room. If he wakes up in the middle of the night he calls me in there and I have to stay with him until he falls asleep. He is also afraid to use the bathroom at night even though the light is on and I leave the door open. I have to stand in there with him.

Apr 14, 2009
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It comes and goes
by: Anonymous

Our son went through a phase like this. He would not be in the bathroom without me. He would not play on another floor of the house without me. I was frustrated because I can't be with him all the time, even at home. My husband would grumble at him about it (didn't help, of course). Somehow he's stopped. There are still times he wants someone down the basement with him (anyone) and he still talks about being afraid of things (general anxiety) but he's much better. This all happened over the course of one year (age five to six). So it might just be a phase.

As with most anxiety, it's my belief that exposure is the cure. Doing the thing he fears will help cure it. I told our occupational therapist about it but she did not seem to indicate that it's part of SPD. She did think it was of concern but didn't have any special recommendations. However, I notice that his fear of heights is changing since the OT has been working with him to climb walls. He gets a little higher each time and he recognizes that he is overcoming his fear.

Apr 13, 2009
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This is my son too!
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My son was diagnosed with SPD at 3 1/2 and has been seeing an OT for a few years. But we have gotten more and more concerned about his anxiety and fears! He will not go alone to another floor of the house without me, he is afraid the fire alarm will go off.

He is showing more and more fear of things- we have scheduled an appt with a phsy. But, it is interesting he shows no problems at school? So , you are not alone my child is also afraid and worries!!! I am reading a good book "What your explosive child is trying to tell you" (sounds bad,but filled with good info) Good Luck to you!

Jan 27, 2009
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my spd
by: Anonymous

Yes my kid too,fish hooks ,looking t them and lot of things odd. Hair clips ,being alone ect ect

Jan 26, 2009
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Crippled By Fear
by: Anonymous

I have two children with SPD ages 4 and 9. Both children were also diagnosed with Anxiety Disorders, my 4 year old son, Anxiety with Panic Attacks.

This was the saddest part of it all as it started with separation but eventually affected everything, even activities such as riding his bike or going for a 4 wheeler ride with his dad ( his favorite.) He just couldn't do it anymore and when it reached the point of even leaving the house because it meant getting in the car I told the Psychologist "no more, we NEED help."

My son was paralyzed with fear of things he once loved. He cried because he missed playing and cried because he was so fearful. We tried behavior therapy but with the fears taking over faster than what he could grasp at a behavior therapy session I felt we had no other choice but to try an anti- depressant.

We started Zoloft 2 months ago and it was the one thing I did for my son to help alleviate the chaos he feels everyday. My daughter also takes it and has finally been able to attend a birthday party for the first time ever without having me to stay with her. She also just had her first over-night and joined Basketball!!!

As I always write, every child is different. I have two children with SPD on opposite sides of the spectrum. What works for one doesn't always work for the other. A lot of young kids have separation anxiety, but we knew it was more than the "norm." My children were crippled with fear.
Hope things get better for your child......

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Childrens fears???

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Childrens fears???