Clothing issues in 6 year old daughter

by Kathy
(Melbourne Vic Australia)

My six year old daughter has in the past 6 months developed a sensitivity to her clothing in particular her underwear not feeling tight enough. She has a twin brother who does not exhibit any of these issues but an older brother who did at the same age. He is now 11 but was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at age 7.




I distinctly remember while being pregnant to the twins, he would have been 4 and a half years old at the time that I had a terrible time with him and his underwear and getting him off to kinder. He could not understand why he was feeling the way he was. My daughter is the same but she does not exhibit similarities in any other way. I realise she may have traits of AS but not sure.

Does SPD tie in with AS? She seems to be getting worse and getting to school or getting her to wear any clothes is becoming an issue. Please help. Thanks Kathy



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Apr 15, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		I'm wondering if this is my dd too
by: Anonymous

She's 5 and has always HATED having her hair washed, brushed or blow dried, to the point of hysteria. In the last couple of weeks, she's become super sensitive about any moisture 'down there' to the point I've had to give her panty liners to wear and she dries herself to the point of being sore. She also doesn't like many of her socks or tights and won't wear jeans. Even leggings are a bit of a problem. Conversely, she's very loud and often sings her own songs at top volume, almost like shouting. It occurred to me just last night that she might be doing this as a way of blocking out other stimuli. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Especially worried about the wee/knickers thing as its getting worse every day and making it hard to go out or get to school on time.
Apr 11, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		sue
by: Anonymous

All i can say is go to another Doctor, go and see a pediatrician, or ring and O/T direct, unsure how your help system works but here we have medicare, which is our government system and we have private medical, our private med. does not cover O/T but medicare have a mental health care plan and you get 5 claimable visits per calender year, the rest we have to pay and then i can only claim balance on out tax return at the end of our financial year, unsure if this help as we are in diff. countries.

I promise you if it is a sensory issue O/T is the answer and i know this is taking over your life but it will change keep trying to find an O/T and if they don't help you keep looking.

hope thing get better
Apr 11, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Still trying to find help
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your posts,Alicia has now far worse,she hasn't worn socks for 2 weeks wont even look at them,she no longer has a favourite set of clothes,everything is a battle.I've now got so i cant seem to get her to do anything,she seems to have a brick wall up between me and her dad now and hates us for it.

I've never dealt with anything like this.
We yet again had another complete melt down with her,which results in her crying,sobbing,lashing out at me,screaming i hate you,then sits hyperventilating.

Its completely taken over are lives and is breaking are family apart.

I printed the symptoms check list of and took to my doctor today,but she wasnt taken in by it and said although alicia ticks some of the box's she still isnt convinced this is the problem,and that she is convinced that all this has been triggered by something. We asked about a o/t but she dismissed it and said a o/t wont be able to help you with this!?!

Its a nightmare,i did get the doc to refer us to a child psychologist,but after a week of ringing them every day,they then closed the case and said they can not help us with this due to government cuts....FANTASTIC HEY.

So i have now found a child counselor who is cbt trained,and i'm going for an assessment this week. I'm preying she will be able to help us.
Mar 27, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		our beautiful girl
by: sue sydney

Emma,
This is exactly how my daughter started and your little sound exactly like Isabella but she was like this from 3 1/2, so we have been going thru this for a while but we only had her diagnosed a year ago and once the O/T gave us it took about 2-3 months and things started to change, i don't think i said that in last email so i hope i didn't scare you off i know it seem overwhelming stressful, but it will get better.

I just want to say this, i remember feeling like i just didn't want to have to do any of the things the O/T said as i all seemed too hard because it had gone on soooo long and i could not see a light at the end of the tunnel but there is and as our girls get old and they mature they will be able to cope with this them selves but until then it up to us and you can do, i thought i could, but i can and i did.

Structure, routine, patience are all good words and i am sure you are sick of people casting the advise that she is just naughty she is not she is struggling and you and your family are the only ones who know you beautiful little girl so once you get strategies in place who ever has her eg minds her or has her overnight (grand parents eg ) just tell them what you need done and follow the same pattern and if you are all consistent it will be ok. I know i sound like a preacher and on my soap box, but it will all work i promise..... take care
Mar 25, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Fingers crossed at the docs.
by: Anonymous

Thanks sue,all advice is great.

With my little girl,she is fine at school,no issues at all,she the token pupil,no trouble at all,she is very bright and doing great.
When she is home she is lovely,until you mention the dreaded word CLOTHES.Then its like some one has flicked a switch.

I have gone through the getting cross with stages,to taking things away from her,stopping her doing certain things.And none makes any difference with her.

Now i'm on the calm approach,i dont get cross,i try not to react and have a very low key casual approach to it.(can be very frustrating)

At the moment she has one favorite skirt,and sandles,which is fine cause the weather has been nice,but now its cooling off i said "What are we going to wear" She said when its cold i'll wear my leggings again! But i no when that day comes its going to be a meltdown.

And in the last 2 days now she insists she sleeps bare,which wks ago she would never do this.

I really hope we can get this sorted,just want my 6 year old daughter back to her self,its so miserable at the moment.
Mar 24, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		..
by: SUE SYDNEY

Emma,
i know it feels overwhelming and scary but like i said as soon as you get your daughter off to the O/T and diagnosed the better, the clothing issues are exactly like our daughter, liking on thing and wearing it to the death...
here are something we have realised
Isabella suffers with anxiety with this i feel this is how she deals with things. eg,
when she has muffty day ( casual clothes) at school she would have massive tantrums, because she would think that she would get to school and everyone would be in there uniform and she wouldn't so now she just wears her uniform and she and all involved are less stressed.
I found the calmer i am the better she is.
Please hang in there it will get better but as our O/T said we will take steps forward and then we will hit a bump in the road and take some back.

Re clothing Isabella loves wearing a one pcs swimmers and a skirt and we have got her wearing a dress on special occasions. so we are moving forward... please keep me updated.....

Remember it will get better and the calmer you are the calmer your daughter will be
Mar 24, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thanks....but still sooo worried its getting worse by day
by: Anonymous

Thanks we are at docs in the morning.

Its getting worse each day,and having major melt downs,she even getting that distressed now she kicks out and tried hitting me today after school all cause i asked her to change out of her uniform. She has now developed an obsession with one particular skirt,and will not wear any other,of course today it needed to be washed,and there fore she needed to choose something else to wear,until 2 weeks ago she would wear leggings now she freaks and cant wear them.

Also tonight she wont even put her nightie on or pj's thats a new one!

I'm not understanding this,how can a little girl just changed and become like this in a space of 3 weeks????

So confused and very scared and worried.

Lets hope the docs can help me.
Thanks emma
Mar 22, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		REPLY TO EMMA UK
by: Anonymous

Hi Emma
I have a 6 1/2 year old daughter that was doing the same things from about the age of 3 1/2 approx, it was only last april that we had her diagnosed with sensory defensiveness. We took her to an Occupational therapist this has helped, i would suggest you get a referral from your GP and has your daughter assessed. re socks and undies i buy seamless socks and this has been a great help re underwear Isabella will only wear the little boy legged ones and loves wearing leotards or one piece swimmers as this feels better, clothing has always been a hassle with her as she will choose
certain clothes and like to wear then same ones all the time but she is improving on this and we have a very different little girl, a joy, then before... the most important thing i think is to get her to an O/T and if she has sensory issue the sooner you get her looked at the quicker this will improve.
Mar 22, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		advice for my 6 year old daughter..very worried
by: emma

Hi, ive been searching the internet for help and keep coming back to your this site.

My daughter is showing some signs of this disorder i think?

She is a very bright,loving,polite,popular little girl who loves school and her friends.
She has always been a very sensitive little girl and could be a little fussy with knickers,socks,and any clothes really.
But in the last 3 weeks it had got much much worse,she has huge meltdowns every morning about her knickers not feeling right,her socks not fitting right and she will try several pairs on and then insist she has talc on her feet first,then she will take them on and off until i step in and take control. It can take her upto 25 mins to put a pair of socks on. I must add that whilst this is all happening she isnt at all naughty or cheeky,just very upset sobbing,and almost hyperventilating, its awful to watch. Everyday this happens,for school this morning,then we asked her to get changed after school,which resulted in the same behavior(crying ,sobbing,almost hysterical but not at all naughty).
When we ask what the problem is she replys with..I dont no or my feet are sweaty(when they certainly are not)or its hurts..it itches,its rough!!
Once she has done all this and has her clothes on she will then be fine all day long,so long as you dont mention clothes or changing.

I'm so worried,my perfect little princess who is such a good girl is changing before my eyes and i dont no why or what to do???
I'm so upset by this.
Can any one help or advice me please.
Thanks Emma uk
Jan 15, 2011
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starstarstarstar 		Clothing issues
by: Jen

This posting has been helpful. My daughter is six now and recently showing signs of sensitivity to clothing issues.. It started with socks not feeling right or not lined up right. Then the underwear bothered her always pulling and tugging and a lot of complaining. Has become a problem at school. The doctor said it's what kids feel and she would grow out of it. Kinda frustrated, been trying different underwear and will try and buy seamless socks. Otherwise I don,t know what else to do. I'm hoping she will move on and grow out of it.
Nov 22, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Teen With Sensory Processing Disorder
by: Courtney

Well, I am 13 with Sensory Processing Disorder, and I remember the time I would only wear sweats and t-shirts to school. No undergarments.
Now, what I found I can wear is tights (mine came in packages from kohls, shapewear as a bra and undies, and for shirts, well, anything loose. But still most days I don't like to wear the undergarments so, I just wear a longer shirt to cover up those areas, and wear a cover-up over my shirt to hide nipplage.

I have to go to an OT every week, and soon they'll be giving me sensory brushes to help.
Hope this helps with future situations.
Sep 16, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		SENSORY ISSUES
by: sue g / australia

I have a 51/2 year old daughter and she has been diagnosed mild sensory difficulty, we have had her to O/T and that helps and if this is any consolation she is 100 times better, we use the brushing tech and joint adjustment, but the main complaints are that she hates underwear and wears them just under her botton, which is my main concern, she wears tights also the same way. she makes sure all her dresses/ skirts are pulled down to cover my peadiatrician says not too worry she will grow out of it, but as i am a worrier i can't help it. i have ordered a pair of under from soft clothing and we will see. She will also not wear any long pants so thank god we are coming into summer, dresses and swimmers. so please believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel
May 05, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		clothing
by: Whitney

I posted earlier about my daughter. The other thing we do that has helped her get dressed is make sure she has had breakfast. We try to do a protein breakfast or something really crunchy (eggs, apples, crunchy granola bars and even beef jerky). Also she likes piggy back rides and these are good for deep pressure and muscle work by having her do most of the holding on. i don't know if those will help but they have helped us get in a better routine. Some days are still rough. Best of luck!
May 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		tight clothes
by: Anonymous

I can relate to what you are experiencing. My daughter has the same difficulty. It is underwear, pants, socks, and shoes. Some days we can get clothes on then no shoes. Other days it all difficult. We have switched to Hanes microfiber briefs. The elastic band is a soft material that is flat. She is 8 but wears a size 4. What we all would do for that metabolism! I am in the US and I notice that you were in Australia and I am not sure if the brands are available there. I pray that you all are able to get through this difficult time.
May 03, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		i understand completely
by: Anonymous

I want to start out by saying i am so sorry that you are going through this, it is hard for us to watch our children go through this. My daughter has SPD and in the beginning my husband and I were adamant she wear underwear and we got so frustrated and forget being on time to anything unless we started getting her dressed at 5am.

To answer your question about AS i have heard links but i'm not sure have related they are, an OT can evaluate her and tell you where she thinks your daughter stands with she is going through. As for making things a little easier my daughter HATES HATES HATES underwear or any clothing that is too tight, it sounds like your daughter is the opposite.

I came up with (with the help of my mother, father and husband) the idea that shorts work just as well as underwear so if she wears a dress shorts go under it.. at this point who cares if she wears them with pants as longs as she is comfortable in her own skin. SO ... my suggestion if your daughter wants them tight tight is to see if tights or nylons work and if they do cut them mid-thigh .. or they now sell bike shorts for kids you could buy them a size small and cut a small slit in the waistband so that it doesn't hurt her belly. all i can say is think outside the box and breathe a lot. good luck. i hope all gets better i know what a struggle it can be and how trying it can be.. o and always plan ahead if you know she loves one outfit and will def. wear and you have to be some place early or important make sure it's clean the night before and lay it out and let her know i am cleaning this bc tomorrow will be a hurry up morning ... i have always felt the more a kid knows the more they can prepare themselves and the easier it is for them and us.

good luck!!!!

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