Concerned Mom

by Claire
(Wisconsin)

How do I begin? My son is 17 and a senior in high school. He was born prematurely, and was diagnosed with Sensory Integrative Disorder at approximately 12 months. He had Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy between 12 and 36 months. He progressed very well, and was considered "cured" - able to participate in normal life.

He has always been bright, and was considered very intelligent as a young child. He was able to converse with adults well, though he didn't have a lot of close friends his own age. Physically he was behind a bit, but managed alright. He never did learn to ride a bike - had balance issues.

I never really attributed the problems that he continues to have to SID, until I found the checklist. Many of the things that have been frustrating to us over the years are things that are found on that checklist! He still only eats a few foods - hamburgers (no cheese), pizza, and plain ham sandwiches. There are a few other things, but our menus have changed drastically trying to make things that he will eat. He will not try new things. He speaks very loudly, not realizing that he is almost yelling. He has never like being hugged, and when he is distressed or sad or hurt, never wants me to console him. (We have on occasion thought he might be slightly autistic!) He is extremely sensitive to pain, and has fainted when he's had blood drawn. He's very tall and gangly, and seems to "overstep" where he's headed, and steps on things he's trying to avoid. He still can't ride a bike!

We are having some personality issues now as well. I wasn't really attributing these to SID either, but the more I think about it, it would explain a lot of what we're dealing with! He is loud as I mentioned before, and is always fighting with our other children. He seems to thrive on conflict and yelling. He says things that aren't acceptable to us - not necessarily swearing, but just saying things that are not hormal for people to say, i.e. saying that he's not going to graduate, or that he is allergic to food as a way to explain why he's not eating. The things he says aren't funny, they're stupid and embarrassing to us. People think he's weird, strange, and unpleasant. I love him dearly, but I don't know how much more of it I can take!

My biggest concern is that he's going to college next year. How will he function? How will he manage? Will he have any friends? I know I sound like an overprotective mother, but I am truly worried that we haven't prepared him at all to be able to take care of himself in the real world. We've tried to do all of the right things, but as I look back, I think that SID had a lot to do with the problems he's had all along.

I guess I'm looking for reassurance that he can survive as an adult and won't be a social outcast. If there's anyone out there that can relate to what I've described and has a positive comment, I'd sure appreciate hearing it!!!

Thank you!