Experienced Mom

by Monique
(Cincinnati, OH USA)

Imagine getting all the answers of why your child reacts differently from other children. I got all the answers that I needed when my son was just 17 months old. My husband and I took him to an appointment for feeding issues and found out that was just an underlying issue to SPD. His OT suggested that I read "The Out-of-Sync Child"

Talking about a tear jerker. I cried as I read each page because it felt as though I was reading about my son. It was the most important book I would ever read.

I call my 7 year old son a Superhero. He can hear the faintest sound and notice the smallest objects. His mind is mathematically brilliant (he was multiplying in kindergarten) but he struggles to read. He has an hilarious sense of humor and is extremely considerate of others.

After his diagnosis at 17 months, no one in my family believed me (not even my husband). I was alone with accepting the diagnosis and was determined to "fix" him. I'll let you know now, there is no "fix". He's extremely unique and I just had to get used to it. When his socks and shirt "hurt", I just switch the socks and cut out the tag. It could be the same socks and shirt he wore just last week, but now they hurt. Hey, it makes my morning easier and most importantly gets him off to school with less opposition.

Another thing is, the more you work with your child and redirect him/her it will get better. It's frustrating, but be calm. Let's see what I've experienced and no longer is a issue: Head banging on walls and sitting under the table at a restaurant, taking clothes off if a little water spills on shirt, fear of baths, haircuts, getting hands dirty, loud noises, bright lights etc. He is the textbook definition of SPD even though I wish more teachers were educated on it. He saw his first movie in a movie theater at age 5 without running out. He's never been to the circus (we're trying that this year!). He loves church now, but can only tolerate it for about an hour. It's getting better!

Now, we're just working on getting him to sit still. He was recently diagnosed with ADHD the attention type. His teacher constantly complains about him hitting students if he is touched and his lack of attention. There is not much support from the school, but I will not stop until they recognize his uniqueness and provide the services that he needs.

As for family, they still say "there's nothing wrong with him" and I agree with them because they respect his differences. Here's what makes our lives easier: He eats what he wants (given nutritional choices) and we continue to introduce new foods as he gets older, we allow him to choose what he wants to wear, he takes baths and not showers, he chooses his own toothpaste, we ask for hugs and kisses, he is constantly redirected and understands consequences (ex. jump on sofa = lose some playtime)etc. Anything to make our lives easier as a family, by allowing him to be an individual at the same time as him recognizing when he gets out of control.

All of his diagnosis include: SPD, ADHD, Feeding Disorder (does minimal chewing along with texture sensitivity), speech delay (used three word sentences after 3 years old) and sleep disorder. I think that's it.

AHHH! All of this, but we continue to push forward and therapy works. It has been a challenge, but he is worth it. Don't give up and most importantly REDIRECT negative behavior. All children must learn. There is nothing "wrong" with your child and if you think so then something is wrong with YOU! Just get used to their uniqueness. Don't worry about the labeling and where you'll be in your social group. You are your child's biggest advocate so fight for their rights. I'm still fighting daily and it will all pay off when my son becomes "a video game designer" when he grows up (his words). "The best!" (my words to him).

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Jan 05, 2011
Your story made me cry
by: Anonymous

I feel like I am reading something I wrote! This is exactly what happened to my husband and I. Feeding Specialist who recommends Out-of-Sync Child. I bought the book on the way home and could not believe what I read. I am so inspired by you. My son is 4 1/2 and will start kindergarten next August. Of course moms of little guys with SID and PDD we go to work. I am visiting the various websites again, checking out anything I might need to do to get him "ready" for real school. He attends pre-k at a Primrose and they are great with him. I have just started to worry about the challenges that face him with public school. Loud,smelly cafeterias...noises outside the classroom door etc...

Thank you for reminding me that he is special and that we will learn to cope together with whatever he faces. He is a smart and sweet sweet sweet little boy.

Apr 23, 2009
Sounds like our life!
by: Anonymous

Thanks so much for your description of life as the mom of a child with SPD. My 6 yr old has SPD and has been in therapy for a year. It can be a very frustrating disorder to deal with but therapy has helped me to understand what makes my daughter respond differently to other children and how to effectively respond to her. I was so thankful to find a reason why my girl has reacted differently all these years. I cried and breathed a sigh of relief when reading "Out-of-Sync Child". Finally, an explanation!

I'm looking for a playgroup for children like my daughter in the Cincinnati OH area. If anyone has suggestions, please let me know.

Feb 18, 2009
Thank you!
by: Anonymous

Thank you for making me feel so empowered. I just found out today that my 19mth old has SPD... I am overwhelmed and feeling out of sorts. You inspire me, to know that this is a new beginning not an ending. Thank you.

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