Four year old girl with dramatic sensitivity on her bottom

My four year old daughter was diagnosed with SPD last year when clothing issues took over our life. Since then we have developed strategies to manage many of the issues, except for her" bottom" , I.e her crotch. She cannot wear underwear at all, of any type. Strangely, she will tolerate swimsuit or leotard while she is engaged in the activity although getting into them is usually difficult. Seems like very light contact is the problem and along those lines she rubs the front of her bottom frequently and vigorously. She just recently explained that rubbing "stops the tickling feeling". She was adamant that it was not itchy but tickly. We have of course confirmed with pediatrician visits that there is no purely physical reason for this, i.e. infection etc. All seems to fit into desensitization mechanism.


But, rubbing her bottom is socially unacceptable in public and to this degree. We have discussed that she can do this only in front of mom or dad and that if others are present, she must go to a different room. Some days this can take a very large amount of time and really strains our relationship and my patience despite thee fact that I know that this is a "real" sensation. I have learned so much about SPD recently, but can find nothing about this specific tactile issue. Additionally, she is so clearly miserable some days with this sensation that I want to cry and want to do anything to help her manage it better. Are there any suggestions?

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Jul 01, 2016
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Im not alone!!
by: Lindsey

Omg I thought I was alone!
My 9 year old has SPD and lyme.
This panty and shorts/pants things is soooooo hard.
She CONSTANTLY pulls them down. Often reaching in her pants to do so.
She is 9 and it's only gotten worse! Shorts that she wears ine day she wont another.
She pulls them all down so far when sitting that her bum is out on the seat. We have told her this is inappropriate.
I want to cry nearly every day!!

Please- if anyone has more suggestions e mail me!!
Lchaney at netsandbytes dot com

Please!!!

Mar 16, 2016
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Underwear problems
by: JB

Hi everyone. I know now that my daughter is not alone with her struggles to be comfortable. I have ordered special underwear from JettProof.com specifically to help with this distressing issue and I'm praying that this will relieve all the problems. Will post again when the items have arrived to let you all know if they have been a help. Check out the website for all the information and reviews about JettProof's products. If this helps any of our children it will make a huge difference to their lives.

Jan 15, 2016
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at a loss
by: Anonymous

We have a almost six year old daughter who is going through the same thing. We found a type of leggings that have a couch that hangs low. She pulls them way down to the point where the seam busts after just a few weeks. I sew and re-sew. If the inner fabric is too soft or feels off she also has a horrible time. Plus she likes to be stylish, so colors/patterns are an issue.

I hate that she feels this way and feel at a loss when she can't find something comfortable. She also used to complain about being sweaty and refuses to wear underwear. One part of me thinks if she just got used to them, it would be easier, but that is probably wishful thinking and she is not willing to try.

Would love to continue to hear things that are helping. I hate that she feels such discomfort in her body.

Nov 02, 2013
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THIS IS ALSO MY DAUGHTER
by: Anonymous

HI...my daughter is 6, and we've always had "minor" sensory issues with socks, seams, etc, but nothing that disrupted our day so much. About a month or so after kindergarten, it started. First it was leotards (for gymnatics and dance). Then it was costumes-we didn't dress up for Halloween (this was a child who loved to dress up in costumes). In gymnastics, the teacher took me aside and told me that she kept "picking at herself". She also says she has a "tickly' feeling and she is always touching herself ...so much THAT SHE GETS SWEATY. Underwear was never a problem, not it is. I finally found hannah anderson organic cotton and she loves those. Seams at all seem to drive her insane-and the stiching of her logo on her uniform shirt. We found soft clothing for all children and she lives in these 3 tshirts and she will wear them under her uniform shirt. we live in florida and it's hot-so I got some hanes tagless cami's, but she cant' stand the straps? I just went to my pediatirician and he referred us to a child psychogolist to get an ot as well. It breaks my heart but is also very frustrating-stuff she always wore and deemed "comfy" she can't wear-EVEN JAMMIES!

Sep 04, 2013
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OMG I am so glad we are not alone!!!
by: Anonymous

I have just cried reading your post. My 5 yo daughter has EXACTLY the same problem with a "tickly feeling" in her 'front' bottom and doesn't rub but has to touch/'adjust' herself all the time to make it go away.

Although I always thought probably related to her SPD, I have dragged her to the doctor so many times about it as it's SUCH an acute problem. She's had urine tests, thrush creams, there's nothing wrong physically...

She hasn't worn underwear or leggings for 18 months, 12 months ago stopped wearing anything except one pair of boys tracksuit bottoms (school and home), then they got "too soft" so was going everywhere in a cheap faded pair of cut off pyjama pants. Then they "let her down and made the tickling come" and she's worn NOTHING but a sundress since. Unless she's naked which at home, for peace and so she's not in distress, she is 99% of the time, even if she's cold. It's awful and getting worse...

I so admire your success with the two change rule, I have tried similar and failed. She is so distressed by 99.9% of clothing, I have to relent; you can see the fear and pain in her face and as soon as I stop insisting, the gratitude and relief cannot be underestimated... she's never faking/exaggerating.

I'm in the UK so kids have to wear school uniform, it was first day back after the summer break today, we started getting dressed at 7am, we arrived at school 45 mins late at 9.35am with her in her sundress. Awful. I made her wear knickers which she agreed to (she has been working on this in OT for a while and can wear knickers for the hour session) but apparently just sat quietly on her own all day which would have been her zoning out to cope with the underwear... teacher has said she can wear no underwear to school but I feel uncomfortable about it and my husband is not happy at all...

I could go on and on! I feel really alone and hopeless at the moment :( So big hugs from the UK in case you feel the same!!

Aug 18, 2013
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Suggestions
by: Anonymous

I posted the original question. We have given up the whole underwear thing. Usually wears leggings, bit long so that she can keep them pulled down, away from her crotch. As long as she has something on her bottom, I'm fine with it. I just explain briefly to anyone necessary, I.e teacher, and let them judge or not as many don't know. Lucky for us, teachers and pre-school have been very supportive and good resource. The whole fight over wearing underwear was just not worth it, especially once I knew that this was a real issue.

When things get really bad, and this whole set of issues seems to cycle up and down, weeks where it's much more manageable and under control, weeks where it's MUCH harder, I instituted the two change rule. She gets two chances only at selecting and trying clothes. Otherwise, we would be there for an hour or more and I would be yelling, she would be in complete meltdown mode. At school, she gets two choices, deal with what she has on or she can make one change. Knowing that she wears what she chooses the second time, really helps her decide. We also now have clothes that we know she can tolerate much/most of the time after one year of dealing with this.

Some literature etc suggest that they will grow out to some degree/ a lot, but maybe not very soon.

Aug 18, 2013
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4.5 yr old-- similar issues!
by: Anonymous

Wow, I have a 4.5 year old daughter who does the same thing!!! All day long, changes underwear (50x a day) and clothes-- OMG she will change clothes all day long-- and does-- if she has access to the closet. Nothing "feels" right, "fits" right, etc. But especially underwear!! I have spent about $30 on underwear this month-- just trying to find a fit/style that will work but they are all wrong for her. I have no idea what to do. I thought I could "wait it out" but maybe I should get her assessed & get help? arg.

Aug 05, 2013
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You just described MY daughter!
by: Stephanie

My husband just read your post to me and I had to ask him if "he" wrote it! You just described my daughter to a "T!" Ellie is 4 (turning 5 in Sept) and has the same exact problems. She seems to be able to "pull herself together" during the activity, but getting dressed prior takes 40 minutes and primarily focuses on her crotch. I spend most days in tears (she was finally diagnosed with SPD two months ago). Ellie doesn't "rub" like your daughter does to make it better though. She screams and won't let any clothing touch her butt area. She is in dance, gymnastics, and swim - I'm sure you can imagine the horrendous time we have getting ready for each activity. She LOVES those activities and the teachers always tell me she is such a joy and loves to be in class, but getting dressed is an emotional roller coaster. She has accidental scratched herself down there a few times when in a frenzy to pull clothing away which of course makes it all worse as the wound heals. Please, please let me know if you find an answer. I love her so much and it kills me that she is in such pain. We also have severe seat-belt issues.

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