Getting worse... Derek 8

by OLIVE
(CORK)

i have a son 8 yrs old that has been diagnosed at 4yrs old with spd.i live in Ireland and as you can imagine there is no help or groups for this disorder.people know very little if anything about spd and you have to wait yrs to get OT through the public health system. recently i noticed Derek seems to be getting a lot worse,his behavior is extremely hyper and inappropriate,he speaks out of turn not noticing you are all ready in a conversation.he fights with his brothers all the time and screams if things dont go his way.


he loves wrestling ,fighting anything physical and is constantly on top of me for hugs but he will only hug his family,he hates kisses and he is only interested in what he wants next and wont stop until he gets it.he behaves himself in school even though the teacher has to repeat things alot for him as he is extremely anxious and gets upset if he gets anything wrong.when he comes home from school,he is wired to the moon,refusing to do his homework and causing a lot of upset in the house.his writing is not very legible and his hands get tired easily.

he eats sausages hamburgers,ham,rice,pasta potatoes,bananas,bread and custard.the rest of the family eats healthy but have tried everything to get him to eat new foods but he will get sick.he wont go to shopping centres or anywhere that he doesnt like and if you make him go you will suffer.

before i make it sound like my son is a monster,he is very bright,he analyses everybody and notices what they are good at and is always right.he is very smart but is very aware of is inabilities in certain areas which makes him anxious and insecure about his own work.he is very loving and caring and always says how much he loves his family.he loves sports,especially soccer,he follows man. united and can recite the names of the players from lots of different teams.my husband loves him but finds him very hard to handle,some days he is very patient and other days he gets really cross with him as he can not understand why there hasn't been one game of soccer played between Derek and his brothers played that hasn't ended in a fight mainly due to Derek kicking up.

i find lately im running out of steam,my poor child,god knows what he is going through inside,i just want to help him, but i dont know how,obviously sending him to his room or grounding him from things doesn,t work.my doctors have no answers for me only put me on waiting lists.do you think OT will help his behavior.any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.this constant upset is depressing and i try so hard to be positive.

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May 23, 2011
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Derek ..getting worse
by: Anonymous

You seem to have gotten a lot of very good advise already. What I can add is that when you have a child who needs help in whatever way, the whole family has to give it. The family has to be educated first about what Derek needs, create empathy and learn to work around the issues. If soccer games end in disaster that is because the others are all normal and Derek can get singled out because he is different and can get frustrated.

The family must accept Derek has issues and sometimes try to ignore rather than make these issues stand out. With love and understanding Derek will fit in nicely. Losing tempers and lacking understanding will only make matters worse. You sound like a very good mother to Derek. Work on his plus points and Derek will shine. Good luck to you.

May 18, 2011
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Seek Resources
by: Anon

i have a 6 year old son with spd. some days are smoother than others. he has many triggers and can be anxious and incredibly active. he craves sensory input and i have to redirect him constantly when he is doing things that are not appropriate or are out of line. he is in his brother's face all the time and struggles with body awareness and understanding personal space and boundaries. some of the same things it sounds like your son struggles with?

we have been seeing an occupational therapist for a few years now, on a regular basis and we have benefited from it immensely! so yes, i would suggest that if you have the services available to you, take advantage of them.

there are also many things/strategies/programs/therapies you can implement at home that can be beneficial. and there are some great books with ideas and websites as well.

few websites:

www.modelmekids.com (resources for helping children model all types of social/behavior skills)

www.sandboxlearning.com (personalized social stories and more)

www.alertprogram.com (helps teach children learn how to be in tune with their bodies ('how does your engine run') and get them what they need to regulate themselves)

www.outofsyncchild.com
(there are also several books related to this author, the out of sync child has fun, etc.)

couple of books-
how to raise a sensory smart child
practical solutions for out of bounds behaviors

good luck. i do think that any help you can get with help your son and yourself will be worth the effort, time and money.

also, one thing we have created is a 'sensory toolbox' that we keep in a corner of our home and we are teaching our son that when his engine is running high gear or low gear, he can go to the box and find what he needs to help his engine 'run just right' again. because when his engine is running just right, he's happy, we're all happier. :) the toolbox has everything from games, to certain snacks, to thera-putty, to cards with photos of activities he can go do like jump on trampoline or dig in the 10 lb. bean bin, etc.) he is learning to go to the toolbox when he knows he needs some type of input. there are also fidget toys in there and a stress ball, straws and blow toys, etc.)

anyway, there are so many things out there to help these kiddos. there is hope. keep your chin up! he's lucky to have you as his mother. :) these kids need us. they are ours because we know how to help them, and if we don't we learn how to help them help themselves so they can be successful and happy in life.

astringham@hotmail.com

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