Going out of my mind - My son hits me...am I on the right track here?

by Sarah
(Hong KOng )

I am sorry, this will sound like a ramble and thats because I cant decide if my son's behavioral characteristics are pointing to something "different" or not. I hope someone can help.

My son will be 5 in Dec and since he was a toddler he has hit me 3-4 times a week. He can hit for any reason - me saying no, not giving him the answer he wants to or me not hearing him. He is disciplined with time outs/losing toys or treats and given untold praise and rewards with star charts for good behaviour. This is having no impact and I am starting to feel like a mother who doesnt understand her son.

I would describe him as a very bright and funny child, with high energy, endless curiosity for things. On good days he is fantastic - he rarely moans, or whinges and sleeps and eats well. There are no obvious issues at school (he could read simple words a year ago, numerically very bright) but he does hit his friends.

On bad days he is the opposite, he hits, screams and shouts from the minute he gets up. Its like another child is in the house. He constantly wants my attention - asks the same question over and over again and gets angry if I dont take note of anything he does or says. At bed time or if I go out, he has to say Goodbye perhaps 10 times and again has to have an answer each time.

Other things I note - he needs 1 on 1 attention almost all of the time and is unable to really 'play' by himself. He is fine with computer time, TV and books but really doesnt like toys. He seems to have issues with scratches/bites and finds many clothes itchy (he refuses to wear a helmet for his scooter). He cant really be in the house as he gets very bored and needs to be kept busy at all times of the day.

What is going on here? Is he spirited/bright/SPD or anything else? The hitting is so hard to deal with and I wonder is it part of a bigger thing going on? Thanks Sarah