Hand flapping and egocentricism


My daughter is now 12. She has for a long time now, been shaking/ flapping her hands when she is excited. I have also noticed, she is still in the stage of egocentricism. She is not mean to other people or doesnt try to purposefully hurt them. She says whats on her mind, no matter what it is. She may tell someone your teeth are ugly or that is a horrible hair color. she only thinks of herself. she is only concerned w/ whats going on w/ her at that moment in time. I truly dont think it is intentional. she is not trying to hurt someones feeling when she says this stuff.

She is sensitive a times to others feelings. Its hard to describe. If there is a situation of concern w/ someone she is just concerned how it will affect her. i of course have been correcting her and teacher her values, but i can tell its just inborn. It's not something I can change. It's almost like she is not aware of consequences of some things. she is very smart, and getting good grades in school. She has good relationships w/ her friends and family. she does sometimes act very immature for her age. I have had her tested for ADD and she was positive. I feel that this is more than that though. any thoughts?

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Dec 07, 2010
Me too
by: Lillian

This is interesting, I because when I was a little girl, I did the exact same thing. I still find myself just speaking my mind for no reason at all. I don't mean to hurt people and I can tell you, I'm not that kind of person at all. I try to be nice to everyone, but for some reason my mind just slips and whatever comes to mind also comes out of my mouth. I also had a problem with hand flapping as a young child and I still do it occasionally, but not as often. I never quite understood why I did these things and I guess I just considered the hand flapping as my way of concentrating. However, I'm glad that your daughter is social, because I definitely never was. I never had many friends at school and I got teased quite a bit. I was just so shy, and some considered me mean because of my blurting. I never got checked by a doctor or anything, because I never thought it was anything. Though in this day and age, every little thing upsets parents. I understand your concern and I find it interesting that I found someone who has the same symptoms as I do. I am currently 17 years old and I can tell you, I too am immature for my age. If you feel you need to get your daughter looked at, I can understand the concern, just remember that her words are most likely not intentional.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Next time she says something rude or disruptive to someone, tell her to stop. See how she reacts. If she acts like she has done nothing wrong, don't correct her again. Simply explain to others that she doesn't mean any harm to them. Do this with the hand flapping too. If you can stop her from doing it and you can get her attention, I wouldn't worry too much.
2. If you feel you need to, get her looked at by a doctor. They can do a thorough exam and rule out any obvious suspects: Aspergers, autism, etc. ( even though I do not believe she has a disorder like this)
3. Even if she does end up having something, just remember that she is just like everyone else. Don't say " Oh my child is special. She needs special needs." She has feelings. Don't let your child be subjected to that because I've been there and I know how that feels to be rejected and left out.

Hope everything goes well and if you have any questions for me, I would be happy to answer them. Take care! :)

Nov 30, 2010
by: Anonymous

Hmmmm..have you thought about aspergers? What you are describing sounds a bit like aspergers to me.

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