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Help! Does my 8 year old have spd?...

by vanessa
(southern england)

My 8 year old daughter and I have battled with clothing for as long as I can remember. I put it down to her being 'awkward' and 'hard work' until two days ago it was suggested to me that she may be tactile defensive. I had never before heard of this, and when I came across this website I couldn't believe how everything I read fell into place.

My daughter hates pants and any other item of clothing that is the tiniest bit rough, tight or restricting in any way, to the point where it makes her near on hysterical. When I think how many times this has had us both in tears!! Her school uniform can cause the same problems, she has to wear the same old tatty pair of trousers, and I worry all the time that the teachers wonder if I cant afford a new pair!

She is also very behind at school and I have just been told she has 'learning difficulties' which is such a wide field. Does anyone know if this could be part of her struggle at school? Having read a lot of your letters it makes me wonder whether her day is eaten up by the way she feels, how uncomfortable her clothes are, instead of on her work.

I would appreciate any feedback, ideas, help. Sorry to rant on but my relief in finding out my daughter is not alone or just being difficult is huge!!!

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Help! Does my 8 year old have spd?...

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Nov 17, 2009
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Someone help me!
by: Donna

I have a 6 year old daughter who has changed so much over the last couple of months, with a really bad attitude and always angry and crying all the time and she won't sleep in her own room.
She won't wear underpants and socks are a major problem too.I have a constant battle getting her dressed for school in the morning as she says everything irritates her and then we end up in a screaming match.It is starting to really effect our family life and my 10 year old daughter is sick of all the yelling and it is starting to be a major problem for my marriage as well.have been to numerous doctors but none seem to be helping.Please can anyone help!!!!

Aug 15, 2009
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Clothing Struggle
by: DJ

My daughter is 8 and was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disability in kindergarten. She is now in third grade and is getting OT, Speech and Counseling in school as well as Special Ed. Services. Her OT issues at time of diagnosis dealt primarily with fine motor issues. It wasn't until a year later when she received make-up OT services due to her OT leaving, that we learned of her sensory issues.

The new OT casually mentioned the sensory issues as if we already knew about them. At that moment, a whole new world opened up for us and my daughter's behaviors began to make sense. Clothing has been a huge issue and what we have found effective is a reward system. We started with trying on the clothes the night before and laying everything out. If she was able to get dressed in the morning without a tantrum, she got a star sticker on the calendar in her room.

It has been 2 months and not only can she lay out the clothes the night before, she can pick out her clothes in the morning without a fuss. The calendar chart and stickers were all her idea. After a certain amount of stickers, she will get a reward. Hope this helps! I KNOW how difficult this can be!

Aug 09, 2009
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We have the same clothes issues!!
by: Mondy

Hi Vanessa, we are the parents of a 4 1/2 year old daughter who has struggled wearing clothes which feel restrictive, tight or uncomfortable (which includes pretty much everything)! At present she is only wearing one style of dress and finds it very difficult to wear underpants. We have found if we put her underpants and dress in the microwave and heat them up a little before she puts them on it sometimes helps. We also hold her tightly after she puts clothes on and work hard at redirecting her attention and this can help too. Basically getting dressed is very stressful for the whole family and causes her great distress! We have tried so many different approaches, taken her to pediatrician and a specialized o.t. and currently taking her to a psychologist.

We are very worried about prep next year with the uniform and wearing shoes and socks (she has worn thongs for almost 3 years)! We have just bought her uniform 6 mnths early and will start to wash it to soften it and encourage her to try it regularly before next year. I hope things are improving for you and your family and hope you know you are not alone!

Jul 23, 2009
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Clothes Issues!!!
by: Anonymous

I have similar issues with my 4 1/2 year old daughter who has struggled with wearing clothes, having hair pinned up, wearing seatbelt in car, wearing shoes/socks, getting hair wet, feeling 'wet' when she has been to the toilet and after drying herself after a shower etc. It has been going on since she was at least 2 years old and now we fear she has developed an anxiety disorder associated with this!

We have been to specialist Occupational Therapists, pediatrician and currently seeing a psychologist who was making progress using a 'relaxation' tape but she has recently resorted back to her 'anxious behaviours' associated with dressing. When her clothes bother her, she is very sad and chooses to miss out on events so she doesn't have to get dressed! We are very concerned how she will cope with school next year wearing a uniform and shoes and socks!! Any ideas??

Jun 15, 2009
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any of this sound familiar?
by: Anonymous

I have yet to make an appointment but I'm almost positive my 10 yr old son has AS. Clothing has always been an issue. Everything is "itchy" - even the softest materials seem to irritate him. He also detests shorts with buttons and zippers and refuses to wear denim.

He has an extensive vocabulary - always has - so much so that adults often laugh after having a conversation with him because he sounds wise beyond his years. Despite this fact, doing homework is TORTURE.

He has a hard time understanding instructions so I basically have to read the instructions to his assignments, which seem straightforward to me, and interpret them in language he understands. Once I do this he completes his assignments, but it takes him FOREVER. An assignment that most children could finish in 10 minutes takes my son over an hour to complete. Despite this fact he's on the honor roll, which astonishes me.

I struggled for a long time thinking he was lazy but now i truly believe he doesn't process information and take direction like most of us.

Most disturbing is his tendency to develop annoying little habits. Lately, he clears his throat as often as 6 times a minute. For a while it was humming softly. I have lost my temper and screamed and begged him to stop, but he seems incapable and I feel guilty because it's as though it's beyond his control.

He's also slow moving and a little clumsy. I used to call him my pokey puppy thinking he would outgrow his lack of coordination, but over the years he has never excelled in anything remotely athletic. He literally cannot do jumping jacks, and I was a competitive gymnast when I was a child, so it used to baffle me. Of course I love him as he is, and if anything a diagnosis of AS would answer so many questions I have about his development, or lack thereof.

On the upside, he seems to be his own person and has no problem telling people if he's not enjoying himself or doesn't like a particular activity or food, etc., so I'm not so worried about him doing bad things to fit in. He usually seems happy, almost proud even, to not fit in. He doesn't make eye contact with new people especially, and he doesn't handle affection well at all. When I hug him, he rarely hugs me back, and I know he feels uncomfortable. If any of you can relate please let me know.

May 26, 2009
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SPD
by: Deb

Hi, my name is Debie and I just found out that my 6 year old daughter has SPD. It was so frustrating for both her and I. When I was at my counselors, he told me straight up what the situation was. Thank goodness there was a name for this. I thought I was going crazy and failing as a mom.

We are now in a better place. Whenever my daughter has one of her "episodes", I right away acknowledge her feeling and tell her that" I know, it must be really hard for you", and she immediately stopped and started to cry uncontrollably and melted in my arms with relief that I didn't think she was "crazy". She is such a beautiful child. What I believe we need to do as parents is to turn their mad into sad and allow them to cry.

I am now going to be homeschooling my daughter this year. I'm terrified but the schools don't understand her and already put a label on her. My job as her only trusted one is to protect her and love her unconditionally. I know this was long winded but there you have it. Good luck to everyone.

Feb 20, 2009
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reply to lynn
by: vanessa

Thank you so much for your response, it means such alot. Will keep you posted on our progress and yes, would love you to keep me posted too.

Feb 20, 2009
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SPD
by: Lynn

Your daughter very well could have SPD. My son was diagnosed when he was 8 years old. He is now 10 years old. His biggest problem was also his clothing. He still will not wear shirts with collars, buttons, or zippers. He has tactile defensiveness.

Your daughter needs to be evaluated by an occupational therapist. My son still struggles in school. He never brings his homework home and doesn't want to do his work. He has a hard time making friends. He has an appointment March 13th to be tested for ADD, OCD, and Asperger's syndrome.

It is so hard sometimes. I get so frustrated because of some of the things he does. His school counselor told me to try and not get upset with him because he can't help the things that he does. He has come a long way from where he started. He still has a lot of issues that need to be dealt with.

Good luck, I know how hard it is to have a child with SPD. The main thing is never give up on your child no matter what. Keep me posted on how things are going with you and I will keep you updated on my son's progress. Stay strong.

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