Help explaining to husband and family?

by S.H.

Hi, I have a 2 year old who I suspect has SPD (sensory seeking). I have contacted EI about an evaluation and am waiting for them to set our appointment. In the meantime what do you all suggest to help me explain to my husband and other family that our son may have a very real problem?


So far when I try to talk to them about the things I have noticed and my gut feeling (which I've had since he was born) that something is not right they blow me off. They tell me I worry too much, he's just being a boy, I did some of the same things as a child and I turned out fine, I'm too permissive with him or not disciplining him "correctly", or that he'll grow out of whatever behavior I think is unusual. They all think that SPD is some made up psycho-babble label that is slapped on any kid who's a little difficult or different. It's especially hard for me because my husband refuses to acknowledge that his son may have anything going on that makes him "not normal" - he insists that our son is fine and has his own explanation for every issue that concerns me. I know it's hard to but denying the possibility and refusing to discuss it doesn't make it go away.

I have not told anyone about the pending evaluation because I know that I will not have any support and instead am planning to bring it up after I find out what we are indeed dealing with. I hope I'm wrong about our son but I'm afraid not at this point. Any advice?

Comments for Help explaining to husband and family?

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 19, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Utah
by: AJ

this sounds all too familiar, unfortunately. but i commend you for listening and acting on your motherly intuition. it's a difficult thing to be out numbered or ostracized but mother's know, they just do. you are doing what is best for your child and you are making the steps to get help and learn tools that will help your child be successful in life!

in the mean time, when other's brush you off or call you a worry wart, remember that you are doing what's in the best interest of your child, whether other's agree with you or not. and some day your child will thank you. :)

i found for myself and my family, that talking about it didn't get me far, i chose to type a letter to a few of them, and copy just a few simple pages from websites that talked about this SPD diagnosis and asked them to read it and write down a couple of questions for me so that i knew they read it. :)

that gave me a chance to respond to them individually and on my own time table when i had time to think about how to respond and what to say. as for your husband, my husband was the same way, in the beginning. but as time has gone and i have pressed forward and some things about our son have become more evident and set him apart as different he's come to terms with it.

it's not easy to have a child that struggles or is different, but these children come to us because we know how to help them best and we have to be their advocates and help teach them tools that they will need in life to be successful. :)

good luck!

Apr 05, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
follow your gut
by: Anonymous

i had the same problem, my mother is very much old-school and my father is just one of those dad's that says every kid will grow out of everything, my husband fortunately was supportive and actually brought the idea to me but it was still hard not having the support of my parents (who we see almost every day)

so... i took her over their house, wearing a skirt with no underwear and told her in front of them that in order to go out to lunch with grammy and papa she had to wear underwear with a skirt (still a rule we stick to. It took 3 1/2 hrs to get out of the house and that was still with no underwear and pants instead of the skirt.

during this experiment i put her in time out, (at this point she got violent -- nothing -- and i mean the exact opposite of who she is) -- and the key point to all of it was she said the magic words... i dont feel right...i dont feel ok... mommy please... of course with that i looked at my parents and said now tell me that is just boundary pushing and you'll knock me over with one breath.

the next day my father spent 4 1/2 hours at the mall with us and spent his own money to let her try on her clothes slowly and find things that worked. we took her to OT and she's so much better now.

sometimes people just need to be hit over the head with it.

i then sent my dad this website and he sent me an email back that said wow...that's kylie!!!!

i hope this helps!!! if they still dont support you at least you have this website!!!

Apr 05, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
medical evaluation
by: Anonymous

Do not give go ahead for the medical evaluation of your child. The mother's intuition is not wrong. It happened to me the same thing, and now I can say that investigating I did the right thing for my child. is now under treatment. Greetings.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to The SPD Q & A.