How do I explain that this is not just a behavioral problem?
My daughter is almost 6 and is still having a terrible time with clothing. Mornings are very stressful in our house, to say the least. I have even had to arrange for my older daughter to get a ride to school in the morning because my SPD daughter could not get dressed to take her to school. I have tried everything I can think of, read about and taken others suggestions. I am at a complete loss of what else to do.
Her school focuses on children with disabilities. It was not easy to get her in here and she is in a class to prepare her for kindergarten. She also has developmental delays which was the basis I used to get her into this school for the year. I have struggled with every school I have sent her to about the fact that she doesn't wear underwear. I have explained the reasoning for it but everyone seems to think it is behavioral. I know it is not just behavior. I have worked with her to the point in the past that she is able to put underwear on later in the day at school. That is not good enough for her school now. They are trying to help her by asking me to make sure she comes to school with underwear on at least twice a week. Of course I would love for her to do that! If only it were that easy. Some weeks we can accomplish this, but others it just does not happen.
It makes me feel like I am failing as a parent because I can't get it done. She was getting OT through my insurance up until last summer but the school she goes to now does a good job at integrating sensory rich activities throughout the day. She really has improved but I feel like everyone is always wanting more and it's never good enough. I think I need to get more of a diagnosis but since it's not in the DSM yet, I'm not sure how much good it will do for school. How do I make people, including her special ed teacher, understand that this is not behavioral? She is able to keep it together at school, which I think should be applauded - instead they just want more! But, the minute she comes home it all goes down hill. Please help! I don't know where to go from here.