How to Cleanse Your Soul at Lent: 'Fun' with Auditory Processing Disorders

by by Daniel Travis (from SPD Adult S.H.A.R.E.)
(Ypsilanti, Mi)

Given the time of year, I have decided to share with you perhaps the best tip for 'cleansing the soul' during Lent that I may have ever received.

Having gone through OT and SLP in the early 1990's for my SID, I have made significant strides in my auditory processing capabilities. However, I still misinterpret some words or inflections, like during this wonderful moment in 2002.

I was in the eighth grade, attending a small, private Catholic school (even though I'm Protestant), and was sitting through another difficult mass with our terrific Italian priest. Our previous priest had been an exciting man who always grabbed my attention with interesting and insightful dialogs that always seemed to reach me. The new priest aimed all of his sermons towards the younger students (the school contained grades K-8). I had a hard time keeping my concentration on him as I spent most homilies leaning forward with my right hand holding my chin to keep my eyes and mind from wondering off. I would consistently have to fight the urge to keep from laughing as I imagined everyone's response if someone were to suddenly pass gas very loudly.

At one mass, during the Lenten season, our priest was giving his sermon on how effective the act of depriving ourselves of certain edible pleasures is at clearing our minds and souls (OK, I don't necessarily recommend certain forms of fasting for someone with SPD, but that's besides the point). At one point during the homily, he made this statement: "When you give up chocolate, you cleanse your soul.".

I immediately started shaking and quaking, as I nearly bit my fingers to keep myself from bursting into laughter. Other people around me shot me quizzical looks and questioning stares. Apparently, no one else found this very funny, at all.

You see, I hadn't heard "When you give UP chocolate", I had heard, "When you give A BUTT chocolate, you cleanse your soul.". At that moment, my dreams of sudden gaseous methane explosions were met with the beautiful imagery of distributing 'butt chocolates' to rectify my spirit during Lent. The idea was so funny, I nearly drew the attention of my nearby teachers, and almost had to remove myself from the group. They hadn't heard what I had heard.

Living with an auditory processing dysfunction is no joke, but sometimes, God throws in a little bit of humor. It was just for me, and now it's also for the great readers of this site.

Keep helping your children, and success shall come. I hope this helped your late winter blues. Thank you.