Husband doesn't support child going to OT

by Kammy
(Texas)

My son, age 6, was diagnosed with SPD in July 2008 and we have been taking him to OT two times a week since. My husband has always said that our son had some quirks or was a little different but now that we have figured out the cause, he doesn't think OT is necessary.


My son's main issues are crashing into things, being very loud, no stranger danger (getting better), no respect of personal space and just being fearless. He is a sensory seeker. He also seems to hit my husband a lot but not me. Why is that?

As soon as I found out about SPD, I tried to find all the info I could to learn about it but he hasn't and it bothers me because I think he just doesn't understand. Everything I've read talks about how important OT is but to my husband, it's just playing and he can do that at home. I'm always trying to get him to go with us but he says he doesn't want to just go and sit there.

He's ok with me taking him but he thinks that there hasn't been a lot of change in my son. I want us to be on the same page about all of this and want him to hear all the things I hear from the OT. He thinks OT is a waste of money. Has anyone else had a problem with their spouse? I would love to hear from someone so I can know how to handle this.

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Mar 07, 2009
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I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

I am the unlucky one that my son takes his frustration out on. It may be because I'm the one who is his primary disciplinarian. I do 90% of his appointments, I have to give my husband credit that he tries but so much more is accomplished when I do it. I think I'm going to try to get my husband to go to parenting classes with me.

I do sometimes wish that my husband had more exposure to other children, so he would realize that this is not just normal toddler troubles.

Feb 24, 2009
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husband's take
by: Anonymous

My husband's take on dads is that until they experience that something concrete they do has a visible effect on their child, they often stay in total denial of the issues. They don't want to read about it or talk about it. The good thing is your husband has agreed to the OT.

What I would suggest is that you talk to the OT about what effects the OT is having on your son and what you can do to ensure carryover to everyday life. For instance, it's great if your little guy can focus better after swinging on the swing at the sensory gym, but does he have access to a similar device in your home? What if your husband bought one,installed it, and ensured that 4x a day, he worked with your son on that swing, doing the movement and stopping movement (your OT can explain why)? Seeing how his interaction actually makes a huge difference in his son's focus may very well open him up to doing more sensory diet stuff at home.

Frankly, it's the sensory diet stuff your child does with you or your husband, or on his own, throughout the day that really makes the difference, not 2 OT sessions a week.

--Nancy
www.sensorysmarts.com

Feb 20, 2009
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tell him to give it a chance
by: Anonymous

Give your hubby a chance to realize that it is working. (if it does)

Jan 06, 2009
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Aggressive SPD
by: linda

My granddaughter hits her dad, as well. I have always attributed it to deep-seated anger at feeling abandoned early on, but she doesn't pound on anyone else. Both her mother and father were drug users at conception, and I have wondered so often whether that has played a part in her SPD and her aggression. What does the OT say about hitting?

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