Is this my fault?

I think my daughter has SPD.... we're in the middle of the evaluation... but it seems that she has that disorder. Did I do something wrong to cause this to happen to her?


The SPD Help Line Answers...


The simple answer is NO... you did not cause this. SPD is a neurological disorder. it has many potential causes, none of which were directly caused by you.

That said, of the many possible causes, there are very few that we have some influence over. One that IS in our control is to expose our children to as much sensory stimulation as possible from infancy on. It is important to remember all the senses and provide opportunities within their comfort level to stimulate each one. This can certainly be a challenge when the underlying SPD exists. Normal interacting, playing, and learning activities may be difficult and disrupted. Another way we may negatively influence the development of our child's nervous system is through the use of drugs or alcohol in pregnancy. If this was not the case for you, rest assured, you have not contributed to the development of your daughter's SPD.

it is when we see difficulties in our children that it is THEN our job to both recognize the symptoms and struggles and get them the evaluations and therapy necessary to overcome these issues. So, in fact... you not only didn't cause it, but you are helping her overcome it by starting the evaluation and treatment process! Be proud of yourself for identifying this and getting her the help she needs!

As for the "causes" of SPD? You can find some information about this within the following article and resources:

What Causes SPD Help Line Submission

The Mislabeled Child

Sensational Kids

The Out-Of-Sync Child (revised)

Raising A Sensory Smart Child

Sensory Integration And The Child

Your daughter will need you to thoroughly understand this disorder to help her best. So, I hope you can take the time to read some of these books... they will help tremendously! Happy reading.

Know that you are doing the right things for her and you did NOT cause this, ok?

Take good care.
Michele Mitchell

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May 17, 2011
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it hurts
by: caro

it really hurts to know something its no ok with your kid, i really didnt like to be pregnant so for several months i blame my self for my sons spd issues, but that dosent get you or your son anywhere...i didnt like to be pregnant but i will give my life for him, im sure i am bless as a mom he makes me be a better person everyday, in just ways i would never had learned if he wasnt special, its not that i like him to be special and to struggle to achieve to wear a tshirt or to look at you when his talking, of course i would rather him to be just ok, and that teaching him our just do normal daily activities werent such a challenge, but when he looks proud of him self just for the fact of getting in to the car with out help, or when he tells me that he likes me to be his mom, our just when he smiles, hes eyes are telling more than just a smile, and when you get to know what is really youre kid needs, then youre going to be able to feel you didnt do anything wrong, but you are doing something amazing and thats loving helping teaching and planning how to make your kid in sync, how to make him stop crying, stop with obsessions, stop with the frustration, stop struggling with the daily life things, and even that day you are going to cray and believe its not fair he has to fight this much, but at the end of the they the important thing its have no regrets, so when you are at a difficult situation believe in you, believe in your kid and believe that something good it has to come. He will learn to be happy, to feel in a good way and to love.......and it will be because of you and because of him, and the family or friends that help you... i hope it takes you as less time as its possible to learn everything that can help you help your kid... with all my heart i hope your kid its fine

Feb 05, 2008
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Hang in There!
by: Anonymous

When my daughter was diagnosed I was flooded with relief and dispare. It's only natural to blame ourselves but it's wasted energy. I knew there was something "different" with my daughter at 2 wks. old, but like most we didn't understand what the gravity of the situation was until first grade.

As she grows, she's 11, both my husband and I see our's or family member's, personality traits; she has Dad's sensitivity to crowds, grandma's knack for zoning out, my sensitive scalp, uncle's need for eye popping bear hugs! I believe it's just the genetic roll of the dice! Educate family and friends... there was a fantastic article in Time magazine called "Is This the Next A.D.D.?", Nov.2007 issue. I copied it and gave it to everyone; from my family to the principal of her school.

Spend your energy making your child understand that although sometimes things are more difficult she still deserves to feel proud and important. The bottom line is that when you believe that she'll be o.k., she'll know she will be. We parents are blessed with that power.

In the meantime enjoy the journey of raising a truly unique and wonderful little person! The most famous and great people of our time were considered "different" as kids :)

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