Ky's journey (just beginning)
I knew my son was "different" almost immediately. He was undoubtedly a brilliant child. Speaking in sentences well enough for strangers to understand at about 15, 16 months and making observations beyond his months but I always described it as "I can't make people understand but something is off".
At 10 months he developed the a fixation on objects. He'd stare at and explore a new object for 20 minutes at a time and if you broke his concentration he'd throw a tantrum. At this same time he started hitting me for stuff like "sneaking up on him" or for changing even the smallest detail of his routine. Bottles had to be an exact temp. Toys had to be lined up and his routine MUST never change.
He started daycare and everyone loved his affectionate nature and carefree attitude. Everyone just said it was quirky when he refused to touch finger paint, only eat with forks (including things like fries) and scream over dirt no one else could see. Despite all this it was clear he was a class favorite and the pride of his teachers. He was my joy but by now I was convinced I was just a bad parent).
When he got more aggressive I was told it was a reaction to the new baby and the terrible twos. For the record he worshiped his sister to the point of hitting any boy that even looked at her. His daycare was only 8 children and 3 wonderful adults that adjusted easy to his needs and wants. This year he moved to preschool and things went from challenging to out of control. He was moved to a much larger class with only one adult.
I got constant calls about my son being a behavior problem. (this was never a real issue at he smaller school.)
I spent most of my days getting pages about how he makes poor decisions, endangers his classmates, and has a constant need for attention. I had discussed this with his doctor for about 2 and a half years at this point when she finally diagnosed ADHD. This didn't make sense... often the only way to keep him calm is to pile on the school work!
After talking to his school they decided to try medication. This was it! I asked around and found a Dr who listened and almost immediately said "I want to confirm with the occupational therapist but your son is almost textbook sensory disorder and OCD" We talked further and he explained my sons public outburst were not the result of bad parenting and he was "worse" with me because these children often are only able to be themselves around the person they trust the most. I cried in his office! I spent years hearing "what have you done to him" "that child needs a spanking" or worse people telling their children "if you ever act like that...".
We just started therapy and obviously we still have rough times but the biggest gift I've been given is the ability to know my son experiences a different world than me, I haven't lost him in fact I'm just discovering him and that amazing place he lives. I will be forever thankful to the Dr who cared enough to spend a full hour to be sure I understood that with time I can be a part of my sons world and not stand outside it