Last Day of Kindergarten

by mo2g
(usa)

Today my daughter's class had a parent program. They sang 3 songs and each read a silly sentence that they had written. I don't know why, but my daughter completely shut down. She wouldn't sing at all on the first song, did a few hand movements on the second song and participated a little more on the last song. When it was her turn to read her sentence, she just sat there with her head down and wouldn't even acknowledge the teacher. The teacher even gave her a second chance after all the others read and still she sat. When it was her turn to get cookies and lemonade, she shoved a cup and a cookie at me and said, "Here." She, of course, doesn't drink lemonade and didn't like any of the cookies so she went and sat back down on her corner of the carpet. The other kids were talking, laughing, playing and posing for pictures. She just sat--even when other kids tried to get her up. Finally, toward the end she came over and sat near (not beside) me and watched the rest of the slideshow of pics of the kids. Then she was "ok."

My daughter has been diagnosed w/ SID, OCD, generalized anxiety and symptoms of ADHD such as hyperactivity and impulsivity, but not actual ADHD. We have been on waiting lists for OT since February. The teacher continues to tell me that my daughter has done great all year and she got almost all the skills on her report card except tying and lacing. (I told the teacher I was not fighting the shoe tying battle.) She reads almost anything we put in front of her. She is going to first grade next year.

I just don't know how to help her anymore. The teacher said that she wouldn't sing yesterday either. But, for a week or so she has been so excited about this last day of school, telling me it was a surprise ("I can't tell you which songs we're singing, but we're singing..." and "It's a secret, but we're having cookies and lemonade. It's for the parents!") I didn't dare miss the program even though it was a struggle to get there on time.

I just felt so lost and so helpless in that classroom. I kept thinking about what must be going through her mind. My instinct was to grab her and run-- just get her out of there! It was all I could do not to cry. I wasn't sure if the tears were for her or for me.

Does anyone have any advice for me? My insurance only pays for one psychiatrist's office. They have been very little help. The doc we had been seeing just moved to another state so it's like we will be starting over there. They got us on the waiting list for OT and that's about it. I figured out that she had SPD a few days before the first therapist appointment that we had to go to to be screened before we could see the doc. After I went through all of this stuff about my child, the therapist says, "So, you're here for drug counseling?" See, that's basically all this office does-- counsel people who get busted for drugs at work.

The only other thing this doc has tried to do for us was to give my daughter a prescription for clonidine. She doesn't have high blood pressure. She was bouncing around the doc's office and the doc took her BP. It was normal. I'm not giving her a drug she doesn't need.

One thing that does seem to help my daughter is allergy medicine. In the past she took Zyrtec and I could really tell a difference in her behavior. This spring when I put her on that, she didn't do well at all. The GP put her on Singulair and she is sleeping better (less tossing and turning, less snoring/snorting noises) so she is feeling better during the day, too.

I'm sorry this post is so long, but I have been out of rope for years and just need some kind of help or advice. Is there some other direction we can turn here? Am I missing something I could be doing for her? Should I have grabbed her and run from the classroom? If things don't improve, she won't go to school next August. She won't eat, drink (except for the chocolate milk) or use the bathroom at school. Knowing all that, if I send her anyway, well, isn't that neglect? We can't even go to Wal-mart anymore.