Mom of a SPD 20 year old college student

by Susan
(Ashland, Oregon)

I'm so glad to have found this forum after 15 years of searching! I'm the mother of a 20 year old beautiful, bright, sensitive and very socially awkward college student. She was diagnosed back when she was 5 yrs. old and there wasn't much information back then. What I'm appalled at is how mean people still are to her. Because her disorder is not evident physically, none of her "friends" believe her when she tells them that her hyper-sensitivities are part of a disorder.


She has been bullied her whole life and has entertained suicidal thoughts. She has terribly low self esteem. She would rather have friends who treat her poorly, than no friends at all! It breaks my heart! One of her teasers is gay. One of her teasers is obese. No one would dream of teasing them about either of their issues. Why do they think it's okay to relentlessly tease her?

She's at a breaking point once again! I feel helpless. I would love to have some resource that succinctly describes the social aspect of SPD so that she can hand her so-called 'friends' a description of what she's dealing with and shut them up once and for all!

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Sep 23, 2015
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What I would do
by: Anonymous

I would teach her that she is amazing and wonderful as is and that she deserves better than the jerks she hangs with. I'd try to teach her about right and wrong ways to treat people and not to associate with the ones who don't have those values. I'd also teach her to defend herself. That's what I would try to do.i have a child with autism and I am teaching him to be kind and to treat people with respect and to seek out like minded individuals. All you can do is try. I also might have a few words with those kids or their parents if I couldn't help myself.

Sep 23, 2015
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Update on my SPD daughter
by: Anonymous

So, lots has happened over the years since my post. My daughter graduated college with honors in 4 years worn a degree in social work. She immediately got a job in mental health as a SW for a year. Then she was accepted into NYU's MSW program in advanced standing, graduated in one year and now works as a SW in NYC working as a family trauma therapist for families in the court system for child abuse and neglect. She's joined a for fun soccer team. And though she still suffers with social anxiety from all those years worn SPD and the bullying that accompanied it, she's finding her feet as an adult in a very difficult career path. One which requires her amazing store of empathy.

Thought people might want to hear the hopeful side of this story.

Dec 16, 2011
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Hey, just a thought
by: Kali

Sorry to double post, but the college I attend is wonderfully understanding. Other then giving one of my teachers/advisors a bit of a shock on my last day, they've all understood. If you'd like more info I created an e-mail account just for posting on sites. It's anotherjazzstudent@yahoo.com I'd post the school name, but I'm not sure if I should be posting that everywhere. I can tell you it's in Idaho and the crime rate on campus doesn't exist. They've been totally awesome, especially with me being an English/Music student. I probably wouldn't have been able to do some of the things I have without their help. I'm a hypersensitive auditory, but this semester I've managed to attend 5 concerts. If you're looking for a college that won't tolerate teasing and is student friendly, this is one of them. Transfer students feel just as at home, academic advisors are more like friends, and the counseling center deals with disabilities just as wells as they do regular counseling.

Dec 11, 2011
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I get it
by: Kali

I'm 19 with SPD, and while I've never been suicidal, I know how socially awkward it is. Tell her to keep her head up. It's a rough road, but a rewarding one. Remind her that her abilities can be used for fun too. To take them lightly and never let anything or anyone stop her.

Jun 17, 2011
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i know how she feels i have spd
by: Anonymous

it insane at times how many people are just plain rude i almost TOOK MY LIFE OVER MY SPD ! it probably the hardest thing for me was when i told people what was happening i just got odd looks i had teacher blaming me for things at the time i had no control all i can say is tell her she will be fine also tell her look into support groups for people that have it good luck ! its scary at times ! my thought are with u !

Mar 11, 2011
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son with spd
by: Anonymous

My son was diagnosed almost 10 years ago with SPD. He is now 14. There was a time I thought he would live with me forever. I have made my piece with his differentness. He is a great kid doing great things.

When I see and hear the comments other kids make about him a think about how lucky I am to have a kind-hearted child who doesn't see the bad in people.

Keep your chin up. I believe what goes around comes around. The others will get theirs.

We are the winners--we got the special kids!

Mar 08, 2011
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Take advantage of the Atonement
by: Steve Faherty

and forgive those who know not what they do.

Mar 08, 2011
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Daughter with SPD
by: Anonymous

Not a son, a daughter, and she's had therapy. She's currently receiving neurofeedback, which helps quite a bit. But, the social issues are the hardest to address! And, given that she's model- beautiful, 5'11", and terribly awkward, makes everyone's expectations of her harder to deal with. Her unofficial middle name is Perseverance. She has more than any person I've ever known!

Mar 08, 2011
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therapy
by: Anonymous

Hello I understand your suffering as a mother to see your son in trouble. But you can help, with behavioral therapy provides good risultait particularities of SPD.

he needs to strengthen self-esteem, and learn proper ways to interact with their peers. best wishes.

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