My 3 yr old daughter has developmental delays ....

by Brenda
(Wilmington Ohio)


My 3 yr old Daughter Gracie, has developmental delays & is in Preschool for 1/2 a day. She's on an IEP with a S/T & O/T working with her at the school. Her pediatrician referred her to a developmental specialist pediatrician to do further evaluations. She has speech of a 1 yr & 4 mo. child. I am finding more & more sensory problems on a daily basis.


I cannot take her into the stores, since all she wants is to be held. No shopping carts & no walking - just carried around by me (which is impossible!) She was so upset - screaming & throwing herself on the floor when I made her get down & walk. She pulled her pants down(screaming)and took off her diaper & threw it at me in the middle of Wal Mart! I just stayed calm & stood my ground & didn't give in to her fits. It was exhauasting & embarrassing! Everyone starring! This happens everytime we go into the stores....but only with me. Not with daddy or Grandma!

Also, she has fits over certain clothes, brushing her hair & teeth. She screams about everything! Things have to be just so. The lid cant be open on the milk or sippy cups. She wants to swing all day - and when she stops she SCREAMS so loud that the neighbors come over to check on us! She screams in the car & twists around till she's out of the car seat when she's not getting her way - like not having her sippy cup in her hands. She wakes up all hrs of the night & wants to sleep with me - only to toss & turn all night.

She is terror at the dentist! Forget about looking in her mouth, let alone cleaning her teeth! Its a battle for ANYTHING we do. I have no idea what to do to help her calm down & enjoy life. I know her speech delays are frustrating her with the lack of communication. I just need good advice from the moms who've dealt with this. I'm sick of the people who tell me that I need Nanny 911 or Super nanny....obviously they have never dealt with a special needs child that has sensory issues. I seriously need advice from someone that knows what I'm living.

Also, Gracie seems to be doing good at school, as far as I know. She loves to ride the bus & see her teachers. But, at home its like she spirals down hill...and when I pick her up from the sitter to come home - she has meltdowns & screams & throws her cup at me. But, the sitter has no problems all day - until I show up!!! That makes me insane! HELPPPPPP!

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Oct 21, 2009
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pastels
by: Anonymous

hey ask you O.T.'s About Brushing treatment it can be done at home, it helps w/ calming, hearing, and a list of other things. I've been doing it for 4 weeks now. It's made a big improvement I also painted my daughters room a green pastel color for calming it help her start the day right and she sleeps better too. blue and green pastels are a great calming colors. when she gets upset we go in her room i sit w/ her for a few minutes and she seems to feel better. I do the brushing treatment right after school so i can start on homework. then again before dinner. I also do it before going anywhere.

Oct 20, 2009
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I understand
by: Anonymous

Well first of all, I feel your pain! Our 4 year old daughter has SPD and has been in OT for about 6 months now. One thing they have told me over and over is that our daughter does her best to "hold it together" while she is away from us/home. Whether it be at school or relatives or wherever, when she comes home and looses it, she is releasing her sensory overload that she has bottled up. It happens around parents and home because it is their comfort zone.

We, as her parents, have to remind her what is acceptable and what is not. Consistency is the key with these children. You give them an inch and they will take a mile!!!!! We find ourselves constantly reminding Madeline of the consequences of inappropriate behavior. We have also had to determine what consequences work for her and reassess our idea of inappropriate behavior. she needs a lot our sensory outlets and if they aren't given to her, she will misbehave.

Remind yourself daily that it isn't your fault and you are doing your best! Trust me, this isn't how I envisioned life would be with my daughter, but you learn to love their quirks and deal with their flaws. I know I am not much help, but I wanted you to know you are not alone in this daily battle!

Oct 20, 2009
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Sensory Overload
by: Lorinda

I have a 8 1/2 year old daughter who displays the same type of behavior. At a recent OT session, we discussed that she is constantly dealing with sensory issues all day long. At school, she models herself to the accepted behaviour.

Once she is in a safe place (Mom)it all falls apart. Her nervous system cannot take anymore sensory information. What we are working on is providing her with down time during the day (don't know what works yet. Going to try bean bag chairs, safe place in classroom to remove herself from activity and chances through out the day to walk to the water fountain and get a drink of water. Hopefully these breaks during the day will make her meltdowns at the end of the day less volatile.

We are also trying aromatherapy at night, massage. At predictable times of meltdown, try to have a lollipop, or crunchy foods (pretzels) for your child. It can provide a distraction, plus it is a calming activity.

Oct 20, 2009
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I feel your pain!
by: kim

Same exact thing with my son at 3
You are doing the exact right things.
Get the book, "Sensational Kids" HUGE help!!

Hes 5 now, and he much better than he was, but he still has all those issues, except now hes learning to self regulate.

OT will help immensely, just do what they tell you, and you'll figure out stuff on your own also (matter of survival)

Believe it or not, things will start to calm down, but its a long road, hang in there
If you have any specific questions, on how to handle certain issues, please feel free to ask, i will share whatever knowledge i have with you!!!
Keep up the good work. And whatever you do, do not give your child any more vaccines, if you haven't stopped them already.
Kim

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