My daughter just turned 8 and she will not get new clothes

by Jeanni
(Detroit , MI)

She wants to wear the same clothes every day.

When we do buy new clothes, she attaches herself to 2 outfits and we end up interchanging them over and over,,until the clothes are ragged.

This has been going on since she was 4. It started with socks and shoes,,then pants and shirts.

I am at my wits end. I don't know if she is just being difficult and stubborn, or if she really can't help it.

I can grasp around the idea she is tactile but sometimes you just have to buck up..when we have to go out or over to someones house..I dread it. Because that means another outfit battle..

What do I do?

Comments for My daughter just turned 8 and she will not get new clothes

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Mar 14, 2016
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ACS targeted my & year old twins
by: Anonymous

My twins started wearing PJ Bottoms at age 3. This lasted until Kindergarten. In kindergarten it was Star Wars T-Shits only. First and Second grade one twin demanded to wear Nike Dri Fit pants and loose cotton poly blend all year. It just so happened after a snow storm my son was profiled in school and labeled abused and neglected and both children were taken away from us. What seemed to be a silly quark had turned tragic to our entire family. The twins are now with grandma and still wearing the same cloths. And another visit from ACS (Agency for Child Services)at moms regarding them wearing the same cloths. When does this madness stop? The boys want to come home and we miss them enormously!

Feb 28, 2016
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They need your love
by: Noreen O'Sullivan

No matter why you think you're child is doing this - they and YOU DESRVE to be loved. Control is not love. How would you feel if your spouse treated you the way you treat this child ? Humiliation and punishment don't feel good to me. I wish unconditional love and EMPATHY to every child and parent struggling with this issue. Without love you will have more problems than which clothes they wear. It is this reason I wrote a book for children on the issue. I'll Tell You Why I Can't Wear Those Clothes !
Sending every one reading this unconditional love <3

Nov 04, 2015
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No issues; just lazy
by: Sarah

I have a 12 year old step-daughter who will wear the same clothes days in a row. There's nothing wrong with her, nothing she needs medication for. She's just lazy! The last time I caught her wearing dirty clothes, I took all her clothes away and brought stupid, ridiculous t-shirts from Goodwill (Christmas tees in September or one for a first grade class).

We didn't have an issue for a while, but today I catch her trying to wear the same black undershirt/tank slimmer thing for the third day in a row! Plus, she lied about how many of them she had! We're taking her clothes away and making her wear ugly stuff again, and now she gets a punishment on top of it.

I'm currently looking for interesting ways to break this habit. She doesn't need a doctor; she probably just needs her butt beat, but I'm a step-mom, so not my job. She may be wearing my Halloween costume to school tomorrow. Any other creative suggestions?

Jul 07, 2015
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I can relate
by: Anonymous

My son is 7 and he insists on wearing the same outfit every day - jeans with belt, long sleeve button up shirt and bowtie. In the summer, I sweat looking at him. It's impossible getting him into shorts, short sleeve t-shirts. He says, "I'm not used to those clothes". I don't get it!

Jul 05, 2015
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Sensory
by: Tara

Glad I found this , I guess knowing that other mothers struggle with this is comfortering yet I feel for each and every one of you . My daughter is 9 and she has been diagnosed with ocd , add, sensory , and anxiety . And the sensory is the hardest part of it all . She did start on mess for the add and she had improved her grades in school from d's to A's it wa a amazing . But with that improvement came even more struggles with clothes . She won't wear pants at all we live in il !!! Winter she would only wear skirts dresses or shorts . She won't wear under wear so I found this playground pants to help under skirts .

But now that she is older she has been in cheer the ocd part likes the routine of cheer but the clothes part is a fight . This is her 5th year and I don't no if I can do another struggle of her sitting with no shirt on in the car to fight her to throw her uniform on to go compete but then when there she loves it . The next is hair she will not let me cut it she says it hurts to get cut when brushed and cleaned her hair is beautiful when we have to wash it brushing is a nightmare ! I guess I do t have anything to contribute to this form but you are all not alone and no someone else is fighting the same battle and this moment

May 19, 2013
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please help
by: summer

My 15 yrs daughter likes to wear only pants at home and out. She dresses with so much clothes she is so private. No short pants, no short skirts, no dresses.I am worried if she was abused when at a children,s home at the age of 7 years old. She don,t like to wear bikini or any other swimming attire.

Please advice, thanks.

Sep 11, 2012
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My daughter is 8 yrs old
by: Anonymous

I have a 8 yr old daughter and we go through this also. I dread going anywhere that we have to get dressed nice or even school for that matter because its a battle. She wants to wear the same thing over and over. I catch her sneaking into the dirty clothes even when we have already spent a hour the night before picking out clothes. We cut tags out of everything. She wears socks inside out. Shoes always hurt. I always make her go with me clothes\shoe shopping but she never wears them. She has beautiful clothes with tags on them. She wants to wear Big T shirts like the ones they give you at Athletic events, not fitted girly shirts and she has a cute figure, I just can't understand. She has one headband she wears everyday and will not try any others, if it breaks we are in trouble. If I find a certain shorts or something she likes I will buy several of the same but she only wants that certain one, I just don't understand this psychosis.

Sep 06, 2011
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kids book
by: Anonymous

there is also a children's book that is out for children suffering from TD. It's called I'll Tell You Why ... I Can't Wear Those Clothes! (Talking about Tactile Defensiveness).

Oct 19, 2010
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softclothing.net
by: noreen Krogsgaard

all I can say is : www.softclothing.net
they understand your child and know it is all very real-not made up.
They have fabulous clothes for TD kids.
This is a neurological disorder involving the central nervous system, there is lots you can do to help them. Cranial Sacral Therapy worked wonders on my 2 daughters.

Oct 05, 2010
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My daughter has Tactile issues...
by: Maggie G.

Hang in there....My four year old daughter has this same Sensory (Tactilie) disorder. She picks 2 outfits and wears only them. New clothes are difficult, shoes even worse and forget about socks.

I diagnosed her myself at age 2 when I realized that something wasn't right and searched the internet for answers. Underwear and socks shouldn't hurt in my mind. I had many many morning struggles with her. I only confirmed my diagnosis by taking her to an Occupational therapist. There are days I wanted to crawl back into bed and cry because it's such a battle. And to have to explain to others why your daughter doesn't wear underwear or socks when it's 30 degrees outside is embarrassing. People think your child is just difficult and that you are making excuses for them not putting on their clothes. We went to therapy for 3 months and it was great, she really improved. The therapist said we could take a break to see if she continues to do well at home. I have noticed that summer is easier... less clothes, no socks needed, etc. Winter is now coming and I'm stressing. I can already tell it's going to be rough. She doesn't want to switch back into wearing pants, etc. It's a long road but when I've reached my breaking point, I just try to realize that our children didn't ask to be this way. They just are and we have to try to help them the best we can. Sometimes that means...they wear the same outfit every day or no socks outside when it's cold.

Distraction is a great method as well. If you can switch your focus after putting on the bothersome clothing sometimes it works. good luck!

Sep 04, 2010
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clothes
by: Anonymous

hello mary I know the problem of your child, because my niece has this problem she also has other important sensory she diPDD-NOS diagnosis. Now has 10 years 5 years struggling with the disorder. over time is a little improved. but must buy clothes very soft test them before buying. I think claw your child can improve with age not discouraged greetings

Aug 26, 2010
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Sensory
by: Kristy

I have an eight year old son who also does this. School Shopping is a nightmare, and I have now decided that if he doesn't to wear new clothing, I will buy used. His favorite material is fleece. He really enjoys very tight fleece sweatshirts and usually prefers to have his entire body covered even when it is hot. When buying something new,we wash all clothing several times before he wears it and if it something he likes such as a pair of pants, I go back to the store and buy the exact same kind and size. He has the same kinds of pants and shirts, just in different colors. He also wears sun shirts due to the fact that he also has a sun allergy. The spandex in the sunshirt is also tight and comforting. He often wears these under his clothing in the summer and winter. One thing that is nice about this type of clothing is that it keeps them cool when its hot and warm when its cool. Hope this helps.

Aug 26, 2010
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Been there
by: Anonymous

with my DD.

Ask your child where the clothes "hurt" and that may tell you about what is going on. With my DD is was her waist area. We had to find pants that went up over her waist almost to her chin-LOL.

ALSO have you tried a leotard under the clothes as underwear?. I may help, even though it is a bit awkward for bath room breaks. This really, really helped my DD. I try to not use the dryer for my DD clothes- use hangers and stretch them out when they are wet.

Also with my DD, she had to have 30 minutes to get dressed. Some days when there was a big change in the air pressure, it was really rough, cause she is so sensitive to the weather. On those days- expect a melt down and longer to get dressed.

To get my DD to wear new pants (the only 2 she could wear has worn out and been sewed and sewed and sewed together about a million times) we used habitation. Once you have found tolerable clothes- (we shopped at Justice) have your DD wear them for 10 minutes the first day (she may cry- my DD did), then 15 minutes the next day, then add 5 minutes. Do not take the tags off- if she can't wear them, after 3 trys, you can take them back.

ALSO is is very important- when wearing clothes in habitation- have her do something distracting.

And also VERY important- have a reward at the end of the series of habitation. Make the reward something that she really, really wants. It helps to make the reward bigger than the Resistance or fear.

My DD at that age love American girl dolls- Ouch! the cost- but she had to earn 80 points to get her reward- one point for every habitation or new clothes wearing. OK, on the first day after habitation, then she got 2 points for a all day wear.

Massaging or brushing may help. Get the technique from your OT.



Aug 25, 2010
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pick your battles.
by: Mandy

I used to have a child like that...he's 19 now. Who does it hurt that she wears the same clothes? She will grow out of this. I would allow her to wear whatever she wants to. Don't worry about what others think about your precious kiddo and pick your battles carefully. Good luck.

Aug 24, 2010
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any answers?
by: Anonymous

Hi,

My son started doing the same at age 2, he is 3 now but the issue is still ongoing but is not as drastic, he chooses from many things but for shoes he only wears 2 pairs in Summer and 1 in Winter, to the point that I have to buy the same shoe in a bigger size. Has she been diagnosed with SPD? or you think she is SPD, that will be the first step, I have started therapy 3 days ago and is working very good, the oppositional conduct (stubbornness)is still there but is milder in intensity. Hope you get her diagnosed and can start therapy soon. good luck

Feb 26, 2016
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okay
by: Anonymous

It's not always a lazy thing. My sister wears the same clothes a whole lot and they are never washed but its because she is always sad and my mom doesn't ever do the clothes washing.

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