My son hides his anxiety

by Ericka Morgan
(Colonial Beach, VA)

Hi, my son is seven years old and a struggling second grader. He is failing in all subjects but does not get any special education services. The school denied his eligibility, despite his SPD and ADHD diagnosis. I have been telling the teachers, principals, and other experts about my son's anxiety for a long time. The problem is, they don't believe me. They always reply, we don't see the signs of anxiety at school.


Just tonight, they had some sort of infomercial on black history month. Lexi came running into the kitchen where I was fixing dinner. I said what is it? He said, Mommmy, they're talking about Martin Luther King. I don't like that! They showed it at my school and I can't watch that..."

I always take the calm approach, I ask him to try to explain what upsets him. This is tricky because my son does not want to say things like this, and he will do his best not to-there is no problem with his speech, he just doesn't want to say things that are hard.

But I got him to tell me that he was upset when the black people and the white people were mean to each other. I asked about the video they watched at school on MLK Day and he said it really upset him. Of course, he's telling me this weeks after the fact! I said, "But honey, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell your teacher? You didn't have to watch it if it upset you!" He said,"Mommy, all the second graders watched it, not just my class." He thought that since all the kids in his grade watched it he had to watch it.

Does anyone else have kids who hide their feelings like this? I am learning that anxiety is a common problem with SPD. But my son is adamant that he doesn't want ANYONE else to know. He says he will only tell me... does anyone have suggestions?

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Apr 05, 2009
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what early intervention????
by: Anonymous

My son 5 who has Aspergers and other combination conditions, Im finding there is little help to this boy who has fallen so behind out school and tears up my life one minute at a time!!! He destroys things hurts people, no med has worked, hospitalizing him does not work, there is no early intervention, the school and state are all liars!!!

I wish I would have never had him hes destroying my life!!!!!! Hes a walking tornado, everyone at his school hates him, hes run out of the school into a neighbor hood, twice now, found by the police and the MISD still wont help me place him into special school where he needs to be!!!! Im frustrated and have more headaches then you can imagine, he can barely write his name, or count!!! whats wrong with this picture!!!??

Feb 16, 2009
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understanding
by: Anonymous

I have recently had my son diagnosed with an OT. He too cannot watch or hear about things that are upsetting. He always says, "I can't watch shows with real people because it can upset me".

In grade one, in drama class the teacher explained the storyline of Oliver Twist. Then the class watched the movie. My son could not handle it, and wanted to leave. He was sent out to the hallway until the class was finished. I heard all about this through my son in the evening.

So, yes, I do understand how you feel. It's like, sometimes my son can be soooo sensitive to life's difficulties/pains compared to others.

Feb 16, 2009
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Ericka - Keep Fighting and Hang In There
by: Craig

Hi Ericka,

My daughter is also reluctant to come forward with problems that she encounters at school. It's not surprising since our kids are not getting the service, recognition and validation that they deserve. When they do speak up, they are not believed. So, they try to fit in as best as they can.

Your son has a right to access the curriculum at school. The fact that he is failing is proof that the school is failing him. I suggest that you file a formal appeal of the school's decision to deny services to him. Surely they can come up with a 504 plan accommodation for him at the very least. Consider cc'ing the County Office of Education (if you have one) and the State Dept of Education as well. Also the US Office of Civil Rights, might be able to assist. There is a rigid complaint process with them and it means that you usually have to fight your way through the local system first.

Don't take "No" for an answer from them anymore. You and your son are their customers and they are not serving you. For more information on your legal rights, you may wish to take a look at: http://www.wrightslaw.com/

Many Blessings and Best of Luck,

Craig

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