Potty training a four and five year old

by Sharon
(Ohio)

My two grandchildren have been diagnosed with SPD and Autism. The oldest boy is five and the younger is four. Neither of these boys are potty trained. The oldest one knows when he has to "go". He will NOT poop in regular underwear, but will hold it for up to three days before finally going in the potty.


My daughter, I feel, enables him by putting pull-ups on him and letting him poop in them, then changing his diaper. Since he can "FEEL" when he has to go, does this just mean he is being stubborn about using the potty seat. He is insistent that there are spiders in the toilet. He also insisted there were spiders in the bathtub when he didn't want to take a bath.

Now he is taking a bath without any fuss. So what is going on with the potty issue? Is he being "enabled" by the use of pull ups? The only time he wears pull ups is to bed and when she notices that he has to poop. He does not "mess" in his underwear. So confused by all this.

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