Pre-School Teacher Say's 3 year old requires ALOT of attention

by AJ
(Maryland)

My 3 year old has always been more challenging then my 5 year old. I've always have handled it okay and I think she is normal. However, I am starting to have second thought's after her pre-school teacher has called me twice and the director talked to me too. She just started pre-school for the first time 3 weeks ago.


1) Teacher said she took playdo from the playdo table and colored it with markers. They had to throw it away.
2) They have a sand box in the class room and she dumped sand out of it on the floor.
3) She wants to take her socks and shoes off because they are hot.
4) She washed her hands before she went potty and refused to wash them after because she said she "already washed them".
5) Refused to clean up after play time.
6) The first day of school she went missing and they found her down the hall. (she was looking for me, thinking I was outside, now we have a handle lock on the classroom door)

Other than that, the teacher said she require's ALOT of attention. The director said that her teacher can handle alot, but my daughter is over her limit.

At home, she is pretty good. She does like climbing on the couch and she likes to annoyingly grab us at times... usually my face. She also sings loudly in the car and I have had to pull over to get her to quiet down. I'm starting to wonder if these aren't normal 3 year old behavior's.

What do you think? Does she need an evaluation by an expert?

Comments for Pre-School Teacher Say's 3 year old requires ALOT of attention

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Mar 11, 2014
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seriously
by: Anonymous

This child sounds like a typical 3 year old that happens to be picky which is normal, and hyper, which isn't that unusual. Colouring play doh, sounds normal, dumping sand everywhere mischeviously, normal, washing hands before, picky behaviour....but disappearing??? I'M sorry but it seems like the teacher was not being responsible if she couldn't keep her charges in sight, children develop in different ways, but this teacher and school cannot blame the child if they fail at the job they get paid for, you want your own child at 3 not a government clone/sheep/robot. It's all personality development. The preschool in question sounds awful.

Jan 31, 2013
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Update
by: AJ

Just want to give you all an update on my daughter (who is almost 5 now). We continued to have issues at th pre-school the whole year. I spent $1000 evaluating her due to the teacher's suggestion. Nothing really showed up in the tests. She actually scored high on a lot of items. I took her to the county public school system (child find) and had her checked out. They said she was completely normal and that I didn't find the right "match" of a pre-school for her. This year, she is in public school pre-k and is going to receive a special award on Friday. Her pre-k teacher said she is absolutely normal, smart and fun. She is doing just fine! Looking back, I wish I would have followed my gut instinct and put her in a different pre-school. The school had great reviews, but expected the kids to act 5, not 3!

Jan 31, 2013
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Pre-school teacher.
by: Anonymous

I work in a preschool that has children age 3 and 4 and these are not huge issues that the teachers should be focusing on. They are actually very normal. Your 3 year old was very logical in thinking that she washed her hands before using the potty so why should she wash them again? As for dumping sand, she was probably just exploring it. The solution to these issues the teacher is supposedly having is to simply talk to your child and explain why she is asking her to do something or why she has to do something.

Nov 08, 2011
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Don't discredit the teachers
by: Anonymous

Hi! I have a 3 year old son that is just undergoing an evaluation from the school district. He started at a Montessori preschool at 2 years old and made it 9 months before he was kicked out. At first we appreciated that the school talked to us about everything that was going on. When the severity kept increasing, we first started to blame the teachers and the school - that they weren't providing a comfortable environment for our son. After we left that school and put him in another preschool, he was kicked out after just 2 weeks. Clearly our son has struggles. Now when we talk to others about this, they are quick to blame the schools and poo poo the behavior as just "a 3 year old boy". MOST 3 year old boys aren't kicked out of preschool!!! Since we've been working with the school district we are learning a lot and just wanted to say that they DO know what they are talking about and that as parents, we have to not get so defensive.

Oct 07, 2011
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Thanks for your comments.
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your comments. Week 4 and 5 of pre-school has gone a lot better. However, the teacher said that my daughter hides when she doesn't want to do something. Also, she cover's her eye's when the teacher tries to ask what is wrong. I witnessed this on the field trip yesterday as well. She never does this at home unless we are playing hide n seek.

Her teacher is a very calm, nice lady, and none of the other kids are afraid. She also didn't want to participate at dance today, but another girl didn't want to either, so I knew she isn't "the only one". I'm hoping this is just a "getting used to school" and "just being 3" thing. She doesn't do anything that is totally "off-norm" to me, like eating couch cushions or something like that. However, I will run this by her doctor the next time we visit.

Oct 03, 2011
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Assessments
by: Anonymous

We've just had our 'very active' daughter assessed on the spectrum - her behavior has always been challenging. As an infant, she wanted to look through keyholes, I've never been able to successfully take her to shopping centres, she climbs on everything, figures out gate locks, would hide or take herself on walks to do a poo in her nappy as a 2 year old (I lost a year of my life in stress that day) - and her family day carer has said to me on many occasions that I get my monies worth in care, as she just doens't stop... all day. The tireder she gets, the harder she goes.

she shows some signs of ASD, but doesn't have enough to warrant a diagnosis of aspergers. She does have some sensory things going on though. We've used a psychologist trained in ASD kids for the past year, and its helped us and her considerably with her behaviour. But she is who she is - gutsy, intelligent, energetic, fiesty and vibrant. Hard to parent, but fantastic qualities for any human being. We're doing all we can to work with her, help her to integrate without losing sight of who she is. Good luck. Your reaching out and asking questions, which I think is a great start.

Sep 30, 2011
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I went to school once and that was enough
by: Anonymous

I don't think that your daughter has many issues that don't come under the chapter of get a grip! I think the teacher is being a tad sensitive no really really over sensitive! Your daughter wasn't swinging dangerous objects, eating her own waste products or an other challenging behaviors.On my first week of play school I was brought home with a rather attractive black eye! I fell of the climbing frame whilst arguing with a fellow wee monster about a firemans helmet!-that morning I beat my mum home.

Then on to big school I went once and was convinced that the day I had spent there was more than sufficient! I have fallen off numerous walls run into the side of my parents house breaking my nose! All over telling dad that I'd seen a tractor not an unusual thing we lived in the countryside. I wouldn't and still won't eat foods that are touching. Much to everyone elses chagrin but I'm perfectly happy with my food not touching or having gravy or any other sauce except sweet and sour over it odd but agh well it's my food.

When it comes to the other things she was using logic slightly skewed but logical non the less, after all shes only three! I was surprised that the teacher wasn't pleasantly surprised to have such a bright wee girl to mold into a great member of society.

If you are still worried get her looked at by a specialist but try please try not to be to concerned she sounds a real barrel of fun each child is different not some pre-programmed robot!Perhaps try looking for a different pre-school one that might appreciate her unique talents! (I have worked with adults with learning disabilities for many years she dosent appear to be setting of any alarm bells!!!)

Sep 29, 2011
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Channel Agression
by: Emory Clark

Hi; Who is to say normal or not? I hear nothing destructive going on.
You're wise to stay on top of it though!

I advise parents with overly active children to provide unusually interesting diversions and or equipment if feasible. The Swring see www.swring.com is the most compelling play apparatus I've seen. Kids are passionate about it from the first time they see one, touch one or ride on one. We have a growing body of believers! It is also perfect vestibular system enrichment.

Sep 29, 2011
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You aren't alone
by: Anonymous

Evaluation would be good. You should also read "The Out-of-Sync Child" It will help you give your daughter self soothing techniques that will help her get her behavior in line. I believe that parents are the key in giving sensory children the skills they need for adapting to new environments, So yes, you need to help your child conform to proper group behavior.

That being said. If your daughter was able to escape her classroom, That isn't a problem due to her behavior, it is a sign that your preschool isn't child proofed. The safety knob should have been there to begin with. Also, if she was able to color the playdough with markers So MUCH that it needed to be thrown out, the teacher isn't paying enough attention to the class or there isn't enough adults in the room. My little girl is a sensory kid and she gives her teachers a run for their money... HOWEVER, they have the skills and talents needed to deal with a precocious child. It sounds to me that your preschool isn't so well equipped.

I have found using motivators, like sticker charts, or a point system is a big help to give my daughter the motivation she needs to behave. Also, getting enough sleep is a huge factor as well. You can do this. Someday, you will look at the beautiful, intelligent woman you raised and know that you made a difference!

Sep 29, 2011
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Evaluation
by: Anonymous

Evaluation of an expert would be appropriate, including the remote control for un control the evolution of behavior.

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