Resistant toilet training

by esther
(Sitka, Alaska)

Hi, I am needing help with my very complex spd child, I think she craves deep pressure and as a result is unwilling to give up diapers, she will be 5 years old in Sept. and is completely capable of using the toilet at home, she is resistant to unfamiliar toilets, but anything to get her out of the diaper would be great, I think she likes the deep pressure of the diaper even when it's completely soiled, which baffles me, because I would think with all her sensory issues she would not want to sit in her feces and urine, but it's been about 2 years and I can't get her to give up the diaper. If you have any thoughts I would be very appreciative.


Many Thanks, Esther

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Jul 26, 2008
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Just Show Her
by: Anonymous

We started trying to potty train our son at 2, no success but we also didn't try and force it. He really wanted to for a long time, but he never "got it". We didn't get him trained until 4. Want to know what I did? I showed him. I hauled my pants and underwear down in front of him, squatted on the potty, peed and then exclaimed "I did it! I used the potty!". Not the most normal approach, but when he saw me do that something "clicked" and he instantly wanted to do it too. He saw, he learned, he did it and there have been no ill effects from him briefly seeing whatever parts of me he might have seen. And that was it. He rarely even peed the bed after that. His psychologist was surprised, but didn't feel it was a bad thing at all. It worked, and it was better than him going through frustrations with trying without success for so long.

Jul 19, 2008
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Maybe this would work...
by: Jessi

If the deep pressure is what she needs, maybe you should try underwear a size too small that are really tight. Or regular underwear and find some spandex shorts for her to wear under her clothes. Just try anything that will be snug and give her comfort.

As for using unfamiliar toilets, that's not as easy. My son was difficult for me to potty train, but when he was around 3 1/2 my (then) boyfriend was able to get him to use it. He was basically just pretty stern about the whole thing. I ended up being stern too... making him stay on the potty until he got some pee out. Sometimes we were in there for 30 min. but it worked. Maybe it would help for someone besides you to work on it?? If she's not wearing diapers and wets herself, it may be embarrassing or uncomfortable for her and that may help as well.

My final suggestion is just to absolutely throw all the diapers away and refuse to put one on her. This won't be easy and probably will be unpleasant. Do it on a weekend if you aren't a stay at home mom so that she'll be with you the whole time you're going through this. And go out of the house several times (just bring spare clothes) so that she'll need to use other potties. Good luck!

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