Still Exploring My Three Year Old
Based on the above checklist and my own intuitions before coming across this particular research, I believe my three year old son may have some sensory issues! He's loving, perceptive and caring in a lot of cases, however has always had transitional problems (which have been exacerbated by some pretty monumental changes, a new sister, moving countries etc ...), difficulties coping with noises and since 6 months a picky eater which have displayed themselves in behavioral problems that go over and beyond the "terrible twos."
As a baby, he's met all the major milestones, but never in quite the manner other infants do. For instance he never put anything in his mouth unless it was food (no oral exploration at all), he didn't explore his environment much upon crawling, and upon taking his first steps at eleven months (whereupon I imagined myself with sneakers and running all over the place to keep up to a newly mobile toddler) I was surprised that sneakers were not needed to aid in my pursuit of this very "calm" boy ... The tantrums seemed normal at first, normal tests of boundaries and were at the beginning easily treated through ignoring unwanted behavior while praising the more acceptable behaviors! However I must put into perspective that our environment was pretty limited and structured due to low budgets and such during his younger months ... routine was routine.
I started worrying when I heard other kids his age start talking and realized my son only new a few words at two
years of age. I didn't worry to much however, as I know development is variable, and eye contact and social behavior seemed within normal range...it's upon having his baby sister that I began to notice vast differences and upon starting up work again (with special needs kids one day, and typical needs kids at a daycare another day) that I began to question his squinting, his tendency to line up cars, his ability to repeat back everything word for word (though not very understandable to an outsider who doesn't understand his "language") and his seemingly bizarre behavioral problems ...peeing on the floor in "defiance?" (since he's been potty trained at age two with great success), hitting authority (mom, dad, daycare provider on the face) figures and telling people to be quiet when talking or singing ....
I have not gone to see anyone yet, as I fear what labels can do, however I fear what will happen to his self esteem in a school setting if untreated issues go unresolved! I also wonder at times, if I am as a mother am accommodating the behavior unconsciously ..(we all have our own idiosyncrasies right) and if this behavior is just my imagination, trying to put blame on something other than my own parenting skills for his different behaviors ... I love my son and daughter to no end and will do anything to stand up for them so for those who are wondering, I am going to take my son to be seen and evaluated professionally ...