Suffering alone

by steph
(lewiston)

since I was a little girl, I have absolutely hated to be touched, kissed, or "thrown into a group of other kids". but even at 7 years old, I thought it was all because of sexual abuse, and blamed all my endless strange habits, and anti-social behavior on those unwanted experiences. going into my teen years, I began counseling...kind of. I found 1 friend! 1 very awkward, "geeky" as the other kids called her, very good sweet and close friend. I told her I had been molested, and now as a teenager, I was having trouble warming up to the gestures of the boys.

well, she told me one of her moms boyfriends did that to her, and that was why she decided to eat and eat and get real fat so that she would be unappealing to anymore guys. [a rather self-damaging decision, I thought... but through many more years of meeting person after person with that history I've found that we each pick up these odd behaviors from it. anyway my point is, that I would be real interested to know how many teens, adults, and children are suffering these touch issues. my particular issue does not end with not being able to be touched. I also have over-sensitive hearing, and all high-pitched noises actually hurt my ears. and I have a dogs sense of smell. I been seriously thinking of seeing if the police would hire me as their drug sniffing dog. well if anyone else cringes at the mere thought of having to be touched by another person, even their own closest family member, I would like to hear your story.