The checklist confirmed what i knew...now I can take more action

by claire
(scotland)

My daughter is now 5 and has started primary 1. its been 3 weeks and shes taken a meltdown where yesterday she wasnt at school and i spoke with head teacher.

Background - whilst at nursery me and my daughters nursery teacher had picked up on small difficulties she faced; her development wasn't steadily improving, it had stayed the same, all clothes tags needed cut off, hated certain socks, material and bedding, and although she could herself talk loud, she didn't like loud noise, or big groups of kids, found memory recall of a social event difficult, where she ended up getting stressed, anxious and cross over stories and take blame rather than thought of being questioned. Further, social ques she found hard to understand, she always mentioned she saw lines round people, you weren't allowed to clean her room or touch anything, she would, and done a fine job i may add, knowing where all toys were placed. She was more 1-2-1 with kids, preferring older kids and did not like nor interact with babies or small kids. I would monitor food and drunk intake because she could eat too much or too little. loud music at birthday parties she would have to leave the room, very much command in the house, a pleaser, if she didn't master something right the first time she got agitated, she didn't like receiving help on tasks, she was very much a pleaser, hot and cold temperature changes a lot, a worrier, low self-concept, forgetful of names, or items, or telling mum/dad things, liked rubbed at night time, bland eater, hiding food, go from hyper to enjoyed own company and bedtime routine varied, would not sleep unless only mum/dad in and quiet,very much into torches and gadgets...i could go on. she was referred to speech and language, received a hearing test which she past and a 'command test' - put the blue teddy in the brown box' past and was informed she had no problems.

Prior to attending school, i had meeting with assistant head, her two teachers and learning and support, where all info was given and written down.

3 weeks on from starting school, ive had problems with socks/tights (at nursery she got away with thick ankle socks) i have now ordered them off sensory website, struggles with recall of class mates names, to the point kids are aware and so she has stopped asking them there names. She has low esteem, and eczema on legs, i wrote a letter asking teacher if she could go to the bathroom to change, as her previous experience was extremely uncomfortable, was advised no - due to health and safety issue (although kids are allowed to attend the bathroom themselves) and advised to put gym clothes under uniform or wear gym clothes the whole day (apart from hygiene issues, imagine putting 2 layers of clothing under a dress, she would have a meltdown?) also ive asked head teacher to refer her to school nurse, where i was told that she was aware of my daughters bland eating and she agrees although i will get told to come back in a year, my daughter informed me she got hit in the bathrooms at school, and when 'memory recall questioning' she had melt down getting her story mixed up several times, i role played to see if that would work, and asked to think about it and come back to me, so that i could give teacher finer details they required in identifying student, and finally a week later she was upset telling me she struggled making friends due to memory recall of names and no one likes her. Now she doesn't convey any info after school, it comes out sometimes a day or so later.

i am now making an appointment with my GP, informed school she wouldn't be in, and relayed all info to them, and want a meeting where all ive discussed i want re-assurances, adaptions and flexibility. Shes a great kid, shes well spoken, polite, and only wants an easy life at school; to learn and have a little fun.

Am i doing things correct? Any advice?

A mother that wants the best for her child.