There is hope....

by Niki
(California)

I am now an adult, but I grew up with tactile defensiveness. It was the source of many, many fights with my mother when I was a child, and in general made my life miserable. I didn't realize exactly what it was until I was older. I have now outgrown most of it and developed coping skills to deal with the things that are still an issue.


I used to not even be able to wear underwear with anything, but now I have found a style that works for me. Comfort is still an issue, but I find my own ways around it, like buying one in every color when I find something comfortable that looks good.

I married a very understanding man who gets that these are just weird quirks of mine and doesn't give me crap because of it. He has even started to understand that I have certain issues with touching, and it is stuff that we can work around.

Just know... if you are a parent of a child with tactile defensiveness, do your best to be understanding and help your child to learn coping skills. Don't punish him/her for things that are related to the disorder, even if they seem like inappropriate behaviors. Have hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better!

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Nov 01, 2010
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Thanks
by: Anonymous

I live in the UK and have an 11 year old who has been dealing with this all her life. It is so hard to understand it and there will always be people who wont. I just hope the safe and understanding environment I try and give my daughter will help her in adulthood and your story has given me hope that it will. It is such a big concern of mine as a parent how she'll cope on her own one day, her self esteem is shot to pieces and she needs constant encouragement not to internalise her feelings and feel ashamed. So thank you once again for the piece of mind that it doesn't have to be like that.

Aug 19, 2010
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by: Mag

Thanks for sharing. It makes me feel better about my teenage daughter. She too, didn't start to wear underwear until about a year ago. Now my focus is to get her to wear a bra. Do you happen to have any suggestions? I'd love to hear form someone with first-hand experience.

Jun 03, 2010
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by: Anonymous

This is great advice. I am constantly saying to myself, that my DD is not acting out, she is just being frustrated with her clothing. I try only talk about her tactile issues at a neutral time and place.


Jun 02, 2010
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thank you
by: Angie

It is great to hear your story. It gives me hope for my son.

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