Wardrobe Woes...and more


(Virginia)

When I say "wardrobe" it makes my post sounds so shallow but the struggles that my family has had with our six year old daughter is making us all weary. Since birth, she had detested the bath or water on her face at all. With that said, it starts or ends our day with tears and melt-downs. It has also kept her from learning to swim. She screams to have her hair properly brushed and therefore, it is a mess all the time.


She likes only short sleeves, soft pants/shorts and only one pair of socks...inside out with corners cut out..one par of shoes that she has broken in will do. She is ALWAYS hot. With that said, imagine how we cringe at the invitations to the princess parties, Christmas pageants and pool parties...Any special clothing like snow clothes, costumes etc. sends her into a tail spin.

I know that as she is getting older, she is feeling frustrated with herself and these limits that keep us from transitioning through daily life, seasons and events. I love her very much and don't mind that she is the only girl in her class not dressed up on those special days. Only we know the tears that it causes and it is heatbreaking. I do not need a picture perfect princess, just a girl who feels special inside. I am losing patience and running out of excuses for the behavior. "She's tired, hungry, sick, attention craving etc..." I really feel it's more than that.

Can anyone relate or help to guide my next step? I fear deep down that seeking help is going to deflate her confidence even more. This website has helped me more than anything to know that we are not alone in these family struggles.

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Jan 10, 2010
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Me Too! How do you get someone to believe you have a child with REAL issues?
by: Anonymous

I have noticed over the last year that my daughter (almost 5) has increasing problems with clothes. We started last summer with 6 "A"line cotton t-shirt dresses. She worn them daily. Socks are a No-Go. We live in Florida and flip-flops are the choice of shoes. It is 32 degrees here today and she wore a short sleeve shirt and a knee length soft skirt and flip-flops to church. She is not cold. Her hands and feet are warm to the touch. People think I am crazy - I have come to the place I really think it is tactile and not behavioral - but who will believe me. If it were behavioral wouldn't this have been outgrown and not be getting worse after a year? We have three pairs of panties she wears - all with a struggle to change at any given time. While she is home, in the car, or at my mom's house she is in her panties only. She goes to dance one night a week and is the only girl in her class that is allowed to wear "footless" tights. Any ideas on questions to ask the dr.? Where do I start?

Jan 01, 2010
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my life too....
by: CKM

This is my life. My daughter will be 12 in April and has been struggling since being 1. We are not at the point where she will not get dressed at all. Nothing but a blanket wrapped around her body. She can not leave the house. We have been through the one outfit that she wears everyday. She gave up underwear at age 4 and ha never gone back. She does flip flops until the snow comes and then boots til the sum returns. We are in Ohio.

I am now at a loss. She gave up the clothing completely on 12/27. School starts again on Mon and I know she will not be able to return.

She was being treated (or mistreated) for OCD. She was mainly taking meds and in a group talk therapy. But now I am convinced she needs an OT. I have been researching online but have not found the place. We are on a 10 MONTH yes month wait list to see a developmental pediatrician!!

ANy help.idea. even just to compare stories and know we are not alone would be wonderful!!!

Dec 30, 2009
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I feel your pain!
by: Sarah

Your daughter sounds exactly like mine. She refuses to wear socks or underwear. I am constantly dealing with those same everyday issues and the fact that people just don't understand. We just started OT about two months ago and so far I haven't seen much difference, but I realize it may take time. She likes going to therapy and they have been able to give us ideas on things to do at home. She really does well with the weighted vest at therapy. Our struggle is that the people with the Early Childhood Special Ed program through the schools do not "believe" that she has SPD even though we have a diagnosis through the hospital. They have not been very easy to work with.

I'm not sure where you are on your journey, but I will say that you, as the parent, know when your child has needs that are being met. Don't take no for an answer. Keep going to different people until you finally find that person who understands. You will and it will all be worth it. Do as much research as you can and be armed with that. No one knows your child better than you. You are going to have to be her one true advocate. Best of luck to you!

Dec 19, 2009
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taks one issue at a time
by: bon

hello darlin,

i have a 3 yr old grandson who has issues in that category, boy just turn the hair clippers on and he heads screaming to the nearest corner....yesterday my daughter tried to use her swifter on her floors, he screamed and panicked...pure fear...he has tactile defensiveness...

are you with an OT therapist, they are absolutely wonderful....

he has been with one for 8 months....
do everything in little spurts..
we put the swifter next to his favorite play rug, he first looked at it and ran...we left it there and he would pass it on the way to his room...
little baby steps, next we will put the hair clippers on his table next to his tv...
also they say keep him moving, hold them upside down and fly them, everywhere this increases their tactile maturity... roll them in a rug and play play play to unroll them
take little baby steps with each situation
be blessed and pray a lot too I prayed for just one word for my christmas gift...and we got two

Dec 19, 2009
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OT?????
by: Anonymous

Have you tried Sensory Integration Therapy with an OT yet?

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