At wits end

by robin steinkamp
(new orleans louisiana)

My 5 year old daughter refuses to wear underwear, pants, shirts she will only wear dresses. I have tired everything I can think of, every type of underwear even boxers for boys she yells they hurt her, don't know what to do anymore.



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Aug 22, 2020
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the pain of underwear
by: kol

This thread began five years ago, so important! Consider the feel of the elastic band and where it hits the body--I do mean "hits." Identify if the issue is pressure above or below the waist, or texture. After years of cutting up underwear I'd suggest silk boxers or my personal favourite of boy shorts. Older kids might wear (high- or loose- waisted) Arab or African modesty ("harem") pants.

Jul 14, 2020
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try this yet?
by: Anonymous

Bottom bikini skirt?

Apr 12, 2016
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This is my kid!
by: Avas Mom

I thought my child was the only one that refused to wear underwear! Getting her dressed as a child was torture for her. Underwear, socks, tags pants, sleeve length!

I had to buy her clothes so big they were almost falling down. Finally we made a deal , no underwear at home was fine, but must be worn when going somewhere. Then none under leggings. Everything was too loud. Her first words were go away! She wasn't a sweet nice little girl. She didn't talk a lot. She liked playing alone, organizing things. Mono eating. Watching only one movie. She used to push me away when I tried to kiss her, it broke my heart.

She has grown out of some of the clothing sensory problems now that she is 14 but is really struggling in school, and now that I have read all this I feel terrible about not getting her diagnosed earlier.

Oct 26, 2015
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playground shorts
by: Anonymous

My daughter has also fought wearing underwear for years. We found the 'playground shorts' that Kohls and Target sell work the best.

Also for those parents that have kids that hate the seams in socks. I find the Adidas low cut sport socks from Kohls do not have seams.

Oct 15, 2015
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Dresses only
by: Anonymous

I don't know about the underwear issue, but my 5 year old daughter went through only wearing skirts or dresses all last year. She wouldn't wear shorts at all over the summer. She would wear them under her skirts and dresses but not as a separate.

She wore a dress on her first day of kindergarten and hasn't wanted to wear them ever since. She's been wearing leggings and shirts everyday. I think the dress thing is a phase that many girls go through. I would be more concerned about the underwear issue. The dress thing will eventually work itself out.

Oct 11, 2015
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Brushing
by: Anonymous

Try brushing her or massaging her body. Undies have to be non-negotiable, save for bedtime when our kiddo sleeps fully naked. Our OT has helped us out tons- def try to see one if possible.

Sep 28, 2015
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Re. I feel for you
by: Robin

I tried leggings and she screamed that they were to0 tight, they hurt her..

Sep 28, 2015
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I feel for you
by: Anonymous

You probably have thought of this already. Since she likes wearing dresses do you think she would wear a pair of cute leggings underneath? I know I would be uncomfortable if my daughter was wearing a dress and not wearing underwear. If she's open to doing this I would forgo the underwear for now. It can be a really cute look -- little capri type leggings with a dress. Any chance she likes dancing? Perhaps you could appeal to her by showing her the "styles" that dancers wear -- and find some photographs. Her desire to imitate the dancers (if that's something she is into) could help her in trying something new long enough to push past her other feelings and sensations. Just a thought

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