Custody/Visitation arrangements

by Sarah
(Rockford, IL US)

My husband and I are separated and in a custody battle over our 9 year old son with SPD. My husband thinks it's a good idea to have our son every other day. He would be with me Monday, dad Tuesday, Mom Wednesday, Dad Thursday and so on. I feel this schedule is too complicated for our son and it's not right to bounce him back and forth like that and I have proposed every Wednesday and every other weekend. Please advise

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Aug 15, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Agree
by: Anonymous

Our judge has my 3 yr old mon nights to all day mon to 630
Tues,10-630
TH 10-630
It too much
She's an exhausted mess
Dec 01, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Are there any documented recommendations?
by: Anonymous

I'm curious if there any documented recommendations? Any OT recommendations for routine, residence, etc in divorce situations?
Oct 20, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		custody/visitation of SPD child
by: Jen

My son has SPD and his father and I are divorced. We do the every other weekend arrangement. This works best for us. My son has a hard time w/ transitions (as many SPD kids do) and his father is not a huge support when it comes dealing w/ my son's SPD. Keeping a routine is important. I agree with the first comment, it might be nice to have your ex pick up your child from school a few nights a week and do homework or go to a sports practice, etc.

I have also found that when my son returns home from his dad's his SPD behaviors are usually worse (probably from the transition); so I would not recommend have every other night visitation.
Good luck.
Jul 19, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Custody
by: Anonymous

That's a tough one. Without knowing anything about your relationship with your ex. I know some friends who are divorced and live in a duplex so the kids can go back and forth with ease. I have heard some extremes where the child stays at the house and the parents go back and forth instead of disrupting the child. You would have to have a really good relationship with your ex for any of those ideas to work. Have you tried asking your child how he feels about the whole thing. Do you get along well enough with your ex that the three of you can sit down together and discuss it. Maybe your son has a trusted adult that he would be willing to talk to. Anyway, there are many creative ways of arranging custody. Think outside the box. If the every other day arrangement does not work, maybe your ex can pick him up every other day for dinner/homework help or even out to the park or for ice cream, and then your son would just sleep over on the weekends.
Jul 10, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		routine in SPD
by: Anonymous

Your child should not be subjected to frequent changes in routine, children with SPD have difficulty. would be good to go to his father for the weekend. greeting

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