Your not alone, a neurodivergent teen

by Shannon
(GA, USA)

So I'm Shannon,14,I'm going to 9th grade in August (2 months). Living with SPD has gotta be one of the most frustrating aspects of my life. It's really depressing and embarrassing when I see pages like this and I'm all like "Oh! Cool someone can relate to me!" It would help ... however, turns out they're talking about a TODDLER and/or younger child. It's SO DEVASTATING! I definetly don't have to be clinically diagnosed to know I have this it's SO EVIDENT!




Sadly, I didn't know what SPD was until I was 13. My family as well. So I've pretty much gone my WHOLE life feeling and being SO different and having no idea what the heck is wrong with me. I see the world a lot differently than most people. If you've ever seen and/or heard of the show "touch" I'm very much like him. Except unlike the main character, math drives me nuts. (Feel free to Google it) My family tries to understand the vast sensations I'm experiencing on a daily basis, however no one really seems to truly grasp it.

I have oversensitivity to pretty much everything. However Hearing, Touch, and smell are out of control. It's so hard to see people (especially at school), staring at me because I'm bothered by something they don't even realize is happening. They're are some sensory tendencies I have, that I try to keep hidden for the sake of my familiy's reaction. However, I've been doing this almost my whole life and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. ...OMG I'm almost crying as I type this.

To all you guys, you just deserve a BIG HUG! *BIG HUG* Im not your typical insert material here outfit girl obviously. I can't sit still for too long and I chew on pencils eat paper. A LOT OF TIMES, I want to just spontaneously scream and cry to do my SPD. My family says they "deal" with my stuff too (I have anxiety and depression,


mostly anxiety), however what they don't realize is that ..... everyone "DEALS" with anxiety, but some people LIVE with it. LIVING with anxiety and DEALING with anxiety are two very different things. As well as just fear.

I don't make friends easily. I'm terrified about fitting in in high school. I LEGITIMATELY want someone to just give me a big hug in public when I'm freaking out. Seeing a 2-7 year old in the store panicking because they don't want to put their shoe on is I guess normal. However seeing and/or hearing a 14 year old bawl her eyes out cause of (a) clothing tag(s), isnt something you see every day. Whenever I begin to fail something, my parents bring up my good grades from EARLY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! IT'S SO IRRATATING!!!!! Im always realizing details other people don't notice. As well as I have this gift or something where I think and/or say something and it comes true next minute.

For ex: I was at the store with my friends. However, one of the friends I invited, couldn't come. I'll call her bunny. So I thought "It'd be cool if bunny's real name was here 😊😧" *10 seconds later at the front of the store* Me: "BUNNY!!" Sorry I got off topic there for a sec. My family KNOWS my sensitivities and they purposely do stuff to bother me. I think i have something called Maladaptive Daydreaming. I fantasize ALL THE TIME about these characters I made up. Tawa (Tawashima), Soku, Yama (Yamagoshi) etc. I watch a lot of some and the majority of these characters are based off of actual anime characters I fell in love with. (Metaphorically)

Anyway I think that's all sorry it was so long. It's been very emotional for me typing this. I LOVE YOU ALL, AND ALL OF YOU DESERVE A BIG HUG!!! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU ALL!!! I HOPE YOU GUYS MAKE EXTRODINARY FRIENDS!!! Feel VERY free to email me @otakumisikaneko3@gmail.com *BIG HUG* 😊😊😃😃😢😢😢😢💔💔💔💔 -An SPD teen girl

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Jul 28, 2024
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starstarstarstarstar 		I understand what are you going through
by: Drew

I have your same age, next year I'm going to 9th grade, I don't know what to do. I usually have good grades but because I do a lot of work at home and because I'm probably gifted. I'm not diagnosed with SPD but my sensory issues are very evident, specially in the sensory seeking and sensory over sensitiveness area. I'm also under sensitive to many things too.

My sensory discrimination is bad. As a preschooler my symptoms were very evident but my parents were like "bad kid", "defiant". I never got help with it, I started to mask and hide my SPD when I was 8, but I exploded when I was 11 and I couldn't take it anymore.

My grades started to get lower and I started to fail many tests, I cried myself to sleep and I developed a very intrusive tanatophobia (extreme fear of death), at the same time I wanted to die.

My parents got mad at me all the time. My mother thought that I was faking and that felt like a bullet to mu chest. I discovered that my mother has some narcissistic tendencies, my father neglects me and barely cares. I sometimes feel like I'm making up my problems but I remember that I'm not trying to seek attention.

I have Imposter's Syndrome too. SPD affects my daily functioning, ex: self care, learning, self steem, mental health, social interactions, planification, executive functioning etc. I also see that my symptoms fluctuate with the time, meaning one day I struggle a lot with certain stimuli and the next day I may not. There are good days I don't have many issues but bad days are hell.

I hope you get all you need, and all the strategies you need, you also will learn how to cope as you grow up but it's better to get OT. When you are 18 you will be able to get treatment if your parents don't let you now. My parents do things on purpose to annoy me too.
Mar 28, 2024
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starstarstarstarstar 		A SPD AND AUTISTIC TEEN
by: Anon

I'm a 14 years old teen. I have Autism and SPD. I'm not getting the support I need because my Autism diagnosis came late. My parents won't believe me when I say that everyday noises, sights, textures or odors and more things annoy me. They say that I need to be stronger. I'm over sensitive and under sensitive to almost everything around me. My SPD fluctuates a lot from day to day or less time.

When I was younger my SPD was mild-moderate but now with the pass of the years it became severe. A lot of stress and anxiety made my SPD more severe. When I was younger I was mostly under sensitive but now I'm under and over sensitive to the same things (that's called sensory fluctuation). I will show you a example of sensory fluctuation: One day I was playing with my cousins and my little cousin fell, so he started to cry, I got startled and I started covering my ears saying that his cry was scary. But just in the same day in the afternoon, we went to the amusement park, there was a lot of noise and I was like super unaware of everything, so when they turned off the music because there were people sleeping I started to scream: "I want more music!", then I started to insult my parents in extreme anger. That's just one example of a million times that a sensory fluctuation happened. I just cannot help it.

And when I have meltdowns or shutdowns my parents say that they get very ashamed, well I don't f***ing care if you get ashamed or not, okay? I'm suffering a lot so you shame is nothing compared to my pain. And that's all I wanted to say.

I don't know when did you post this but if you are reading this comment I want you to know that I totally understand you, I want you to get all the support you need to get a better life.

-By a teen with SPD and Autism.

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