A letter to my mom.

by Tracy
(Corona, CA)

Mom... Who would have ever guessed that what was wrong with me has a name. It is SPD.




Remember how hard it was to dress me? You tried to buy me clothes that would not hurt. You would wash them over and over again till they were "soft". You would look the other way when I turned my socks inside out so the seam wouldn't hurt my feet.

Finally you learned how to sew so you could try to make clothes I could wear without being in agony. Remember when you made me cut my hair really short because it had gotten to the point I couldn't stand to have it brushed. I cried when it got cut and that made you cry too. Looking back on that it was a pretty good idea.

Remember all the nights dad would make me sit at the table till I ate all my food and you would come into the kitchen after I had sat there for hours and throw it away. I think you knew at some level I wasn't trying to disobey I just couldn't make myself eat it.

Remember all the times I cried because other kids were mean to me and you would sit on the floor and play a game with me. Remember how you put up with me playing the piano for hours. It was the only time I could handle loud noise, I guess because I was in control of it.

Remember how you defended me with teachers and other parents? I wish you could see me now....I have a great life and two wonderful kids. Even though my childhood was rough you know what I remember most... I was loved.

Thank you mom.



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Jan 30, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Parents please read
by: Pia

Reading your story really got me choked up.... I’m 43 and recently realized I also have SPD- my youngest son was finally diagnosed at 12 yrs old (and after years of different therapists and doctors and various professionals!!!!)

Reading how naturally it came to your mother to make those small accommodations for you without even knowing what was going on- it made my heart smile!!!! These small gestures mean more than anything when you’re a child and you know you’re different but don’t know why. For your mother to instinctively know how she can make life a little easier for you especially not knowing about SPD... just wow. Mad respect for your mom!!!

My own mother never did that for me. We fought so much, I felt I could never do anything right, I made her so angry when I cried as she brushed my hair she actually slammed a door and broke it!

So much of my life was spent feeling constant guilt for being such a pain the hiney, then getting distracted and forgetting, Doing something else that wasn’t quite right and cycle of guilt and shame started again. Not knowing what was going on with my own self and no help or understanding of what could be led to drug abuse, really reckless behavior, dropping out of school, major panic and even agoraphobia.

Parents- listen to your children! More importantly, listen to what they aren’t saying but what they’re doing and how they are handling life. Ask questions. Don’t let things go! The alternative is to do nothing and that *will* cause harm both now and down the road. Remember- we aren’t raising children, we are raising adults.

As a mother with SPD, by the end of the day, my nerves are shot and I kind of shut down... get irritable until I take some alone time-even from my husband. Now that we know what this is, the guilt and shame of being annoyed and not understanding what was going on with my son starts again. But- there is also *so* much hope!

He’s 12, so there’s no early intervention, but there is still much help to be had and more to learn! Even for me at my old(er) age!
There is so much hope for this- new things are being discovered every day.

So grateful for this website and to all of you who share your stories and advice. Thank you!
Jan 21, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		wow
by: Anonymous

Im actually in tears , that was beautiful . I do have a question, my daughter clearly has spd but she doesnt show many signs at school when i ask her why she says that she tries to hide it??? is anyone elses child like that ??or was u like this ?? xx
Oct 31, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Me and my 13 year old struggling son
by: Anonymous

Oh my I am in tears....this so very much sounds like the relationship me and my son have....this hit my heart hard!!!!!
Oct 30, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you.
by: Anonymous

My oldest daughter is four and has SPD.

Thank you for sharing your letter to your Mom, she sounds like a wonderful woman. I hope that I am as successful a mother as she.

I really needed to hear that you are happy, with a successful life and two kids of your own. Thank you it gives me inspiration and hope.

Blessings on you and all your loved ones.
Oct 30, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hope
by: Anonymous

Your letter moved me. It gives us hope for our children with SPD, their behaviors are too often mistaken for tantrums and bad manners. We hope that your life is always happy.
Oct 30, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Tanya

Thank you for your post. My 6 year old son has SPD and it is hard work. I just want him to know there is always going to be someone in his corner. Not very many people understand him the way I do so we have a pretty special bond.

He is the most precious little person and I worry about his future but reading your post made me hopeful that a mum's dedicated love can make a difference :)

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