Daughter has a habit of shaking a pen or pencil all day

How do I address my daughter and try to correct a habit that I thought she would outgrow?




It started when she was around two with a princess wand. She carried this wand everywhere, but she would shake it and stare at it all day.

She changed to carrying and shaking smaller objects such as pens and pencils once she started school full time. She is now eleven and continues to do this. Some of the kids have teased her but most are just used to it. I really thought she would outgrow this.

Should I be concerned that this is a bigger issue? if so, where do I start?

I need to help my daughter before this gets worse. I believe that people perceive her as distracted and so she has missed out on several opportunities because of it.

Please help!!



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Feb 17, 2020
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Same!!
by: TTS

I’m 16 years old and I have been wondering what’s going on with me like I really thought I was autistic but I’m not! Although I do know for a fact that I have ADHD so I’m not sure if fidgeting with a pencil & sometimes with my hands. I have been doing this since I was 4 I believe & I used a lollipop that time.. I kept it as a secret because I’m embarrassed to talk about it with anyone & I’m glad that I’m not the only one in the world that deals with this.

I’ve been doing this so much that my arms are skinny & im trying to gain more fat in my arms. I just want to know what is this & I want to stop having this because it’s embarrassing & no matter how many times I want to stop I keep on playing with a pencil like I’ll go crazy for it & when I don’t have one I just play around my hands this is so embarrassing even though I do this alone in my room.

Does anyone know how to get rid of this? It’s like an addiction to me for fun when I’m bored

Jan 30, 2020
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Omg, I'm not alone!
by: Anonymous

I'm 34. I've been doing it my whole life. My parents have video footage of me when I was 2 years old auditioning sticks in the backyard to be my next wag object. Before I could read I would make up stories holding a book, sometimes upside down and wag sticks/pens/pencils/spoons/ forks at it. I've used a mini baton and a princess wand. Something happens cognitively where I am more comfortable and more invested in a book, or conversation when I get to wag my stick at a book or light colored wall. She may never outgrow it, and that's ok, but she'll learn to control it in public. Nothing is wrong with her, she's a creative genius.

Jul 12, 2019
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done this for so long
by: Anonymous

Literally been doing this for as long as I can remember. I would use like forks or spoons but now I use pens or pencils. I mainly do it when I watch sports to almost imagine I am playing the sport. I'm 17 and I have been pretty secretive about it my whole life. Mostly just do it while I'm alone in my room.

I literally just thought of what I do habitually and sub consciously and wanted to see if other people do it too. As for your daughter, give it time. In this scenario, less is more. I turned out fine and I still do it.

May 02, 2019
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Identify the problem
by: Anonymous

I think it is worth considering quite hard as to whether it really matters and in what situations, and to let it go as much as possible. It shouldn't really be doing her or anyone else any harm in most circumstances.

However, where and if it is causing her or others real problems, I'd suggest seeing if you can identify why it is she does it - what she needs from it, whether sensory or imaginative input. It may be possible to find less intrusive alternatives.

Apr 16, 2019
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pencilplayer
by: Anonymous

I do it too, I play with my pencil or each time I am thrill or watch anime or something that thrills me and imaging. Stories about it when I play with my pencil, my imagination just takes off, and it makes me feel good, And. it makes me happy.

I know it's not normal i am 28 and. I recently have been diagnosed with OCD, and anxiety issues, so I think this is part of having a mental illness.

Oct 15, 2018
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I have done this all my life
by: Anonymous

This thread has made me feel 1000x better. Ever since I I’ve been a little kid I’ve gotten a pencil and I would walk around the house and I would think stories and the pencil made me think better. It’s really weird do not get me wrong I’ve never liked doing it but I just enjoyed doing it ever since I was little. I never did it in public or anything, but she is young so do not worry. I’m pretty normal.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with OCD and I thought back about how I used to do this when I was a kid and young teenager. I’m 20 now and stopped a few years ago. I feel better now that I see others in this thread also have done this.

After I was diagnosed with OCD I thought about how I did this as a kid and thought I might’ve had something worse wrong with me or like I might’ve been crazy. So this is a big relief. Your daughter should be fine. I’ve had a good life she should out grow it in a few years.

Sep 07, 2018
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I do it
by: John

I have been doing it my whole life. Never officially diagnosed but I know I have ocd and anxiety issues and attention deficit disorder. I think it might be a form of a tic like turrettes. But it's not been that big of a deal itself but night point to bigger issues like anxiety and ocd which have been a problem.

I also bite my nails and obsess over money, damages to my stuff like cars. Not saying other people would have these too. Having said all that. I am doing well in a complex technical field despite setbacks. Yep reading and other creative endeavors set it off.

Dec 31, 2017
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I do the same
by: Anonymous

I’ve 47 and have been doing this nearly my entire life, although I try to curtail the habit at work or in public. I was just laying here, thinking of the habit, and became curious if other people do it.

I guess so!

I will shake pencils while reading but I *really* do it when I’m creating stories. I’m a writer and there is something about it that kicks my creativity into high gear, like it lets my mind escape. My language skills and my phrasing becomes more eloquent. And the bottom line is, shaking a pencil just feels incredibly good. Hard to explain.

I’m sure my family thought I’d outgrow it. I thought I’d outgrow it. In the years when I wasn’t writing as much I did it much less. I don’t do it often when reading any longer. Like I said, it’s mostly a writing habit and why I don’t love writing with other people around.

Sep 12, 2015
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I shake pens while reading
by: Kaelin

I've always wondered why I do it, but if I'm reading a book or a long passage, I HAVE to shake a pen or pencil at the words to read them..it's strange..when I don't have a pen or pencil, I feel an overwhelming anxiety and it takes me twice as long to read a passage, sometimes never even comprehending he's in reading without it..

Jul 13, 2015
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I have the same problem
by: Anonymous

Im 20 perfectly normal but i stare at pens and shake them when i can it makes me feel good. What condition do i have? Is it OCD?

Jul 02, 2014
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Leave it
by: Anonymous

She'll grow out of it just like the wand.
It's harming no one.

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