Dealing with a SPD Child...

[?] Subscribe To This Site

Dealing with a SPD Child...

by Melissa
(Boston,Mass)

Hello,

I am a mom of 4 beautiful kids! I just recently found out my daughter has SPD, She is a 4 year old beautiful,smart,caring little girl.

When she was born, she cried all the time. The doctor thought it was colic, or digestive problems, so those issues were treated... But as a mom knowing your child something still didn't seem right she always wanted to be in her diaper,and always seemed to be throwing major temper tantrums.

I called the doctor and explained my feelings to him... he stated that she at the time is only 2 years old and it's hard to tell what a child's quirks are at that age...

By the time she was 3, she would only wear what she called "Tappy shoes", only a certain dress, NO socks,sneakers,jeans,long sleeve shirts,jackets. I would force pants on her because we live in New England with different temperatures all the time. As soon as we would get in the car she would go into a major temper tantrum and would throw everything off sitting in her underwear.

As time went on the spd got worse she will not wear a seatbelt in the car because it is not "tight enough". She will only wear flip flops & one dress with a very light jacket. She secludes herself in the house because she doesn't want to wear pants,sneakers,etc...

She will be turning 5 in march and with the way she is there is no way I can send her to school like this... We are now approaching winter too & I dread it because I know there will be no sneakers,pants, etc. She will only wear certain underwear if they are not the skunk,barbie ones , she throws herself on the floor in a rage... pulling them off after long stares and judgment on my parenting.

I went to my daughters doctor again & said please as a mom... something isn't right. Still clueless to what SPD was, he got in touch with a specialist that deals with SPD in children... I did my own research & found this site... and cried in pure joy that I did not feel so alone...

She doesn't have all the symptoms of SPD. She is okay with sounds and food. The only issue we have with her... is clothes and major temper tantrums... it breaks my heart to see my daughter cry over clothes.

After reading some of the signs of SPD and what it feels like to them, I cried & cried to know that this is what my daughter feels everyday. Then the guilt sets in about all the times we were angry with her... thinking she was being a brat, or unreasonable.

My daughter has her first app. Nov.19,2009. I am so looking forward to getting started on my daughters SPD so she can live a normal life, and deal with having SPD. I am sure parents dealing with SPD children know exactly what I am talking about... People out in public would stare at me like why are you letting your daughter wear flip flops in 20 degree weather. Boy... if they only knew.

I am so thankful for this site to help us understand... what SPD is and sharing stories...

Good luck to all the moms & dads,and children dealing with SPD.

Sincerely,
Melissa

Comments for
Dealing with a SPD Child...

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 19, 2011
Rating

5 year old girl with SPD
by: Tara Sinnott

Hi,

I've logged into this web site in desperation and feel like I have taken my first proper breath in months to hear all the stories that are so similar to my own and my daughter's.

I am a mum of 4 lovely kids and my 2nd, Anna, who is 6 soon, was diagnosed with SPD last year.

Her one and only symptom of SPD she has is her clothes.. but anyone of you who have a child with SPD will know it's enough to upset you, your child and the rest of the family for the whole day.

Anna started trying to pull her clothes off before she could talk, I didn't think much of it til she started Montessori and she wouldn't wear a coat/socks/closed shoes etc; when we had to leave the house. It got so bad that I was lucky if I could put a tshirt and tracksuit top on and flip flops, which living in Ireland, isn't practical 11 months of the year.

The relief I felt when she was diagnosed last year was immense, but I must admit, every day is a constant struggle. Dressing takes up to an hour, as she strips off, shouts, screams drools and spits at me, cries and basically throws tantrums for all of the morning. I feel so bad for her, she is usually a beautiful, kind caring little girl, but this has just taken her over and consumes our lives. Once she goes to school, she "gets used" to the clothes (which is 1 of 2 tracksuits and 1 of 2 t shirts!) but the cycle starts over again the next morning, as bad as ever.

Swimming is nearly and impossibility, gymnastics, sports. etc; as she won't wear swim wear/runners. She also misses out on outings with the rest of the family at weekends as she chooses to stay in her pants rather than get dressed for the park.

The OT Anna saw recommended the brushing technique, but to be truly honest, this didn't help for long.

I would love to hear from any of you other suffering Mums with a child similar to Anna. I would appreciate any advice you could offer on getting Anna dressed as peacefully and easy for us both as possible as it is so upsetting for us both and for the rest of the household also.

Look forward to hearing from you,

Take care,
Tara

Jul 15, 2011
Rating

Thats my child too!
by: Anonymous

My child is 4 years old and in the last month become someone totally different. There have always been things suggestive of a sensory problem like dislike of loud noises, underwear giving her "wedgies",shoes not feeling right.
In the last month, it has turned in to rage temper tantrums wearing any underwear or shorts. Every day 2-3 times a day the tantrums get worse and worse. I am in tears now thinking about it. She won't go to the bathroom until the last second because she will have to pull her pants up/down, then she wets in them a little and the process of changing clothes starts all over again. We see an OT in August....praying for some help!

Mar 18, 2011
Rating

Just when I thought I was going crazy...
by: Anonymous

I'm in tears as I read these comments because now that I know my little girl has a disorder, I see that I had one as a child. This has definitely been a genetic thing in my family. Its like a big weight has lifted off of me. I can't wait to find an OT!!I was always afraid to get help because these kinds of issues get passed off as ADHD or bipolar disorder much too often. Its like a sixth sense led me to this site. Thank you God for the hope! Thanks to all of you for sharing and to the research on this condition.

Nov 09, 2010
Rating

We have all been there
by: Belle

I can say that while reading your post I saw my children. I have three children that have been diagnosed with SPD, I can tell you that every SPD child is different. My daughter is a sensory avoider, when she was younger she could not stand certain textures on her hands and feet, and the clothes thing I get 100%. What has worked with me is the soft knit pants and allowing her to go shopping with me to pick out her clothes. If it were up to her she would wear a bathing suit year round, but as you said, it does get cold and well wearing a bathing suit shopping is just not acceptable, so we compromise, she wears the bathing suit on under her winter clothes, she is happy and so am I. This is the first year that my daughter will wear bluejeans, and only Miley Cyrus ones at that, prior to this year it was knit pants only and she prefers dresses and skirts. Once school starts I have to go into her room, and take all of her summer clothes out of her closet and dresser, box them up and hide them, other wise she would never wear anything else. Same thing with shoes (which is a never ending battle, thank goodness she now has a love of boots so we were able to overcome the flip flop issue)

Also the clothes issue could be the tags in the clothes, the softness etc, so check that out and flip flops get her some toe socks, she can then wear the flip flops or have the sensation of something between her toes.

My boys, my douglas is a sensory seeker and avoider, he avoids foods and seeks high impact. JM is a sensory avoider all around. Needs and thrives on pressure therapy as well as brushing therapy (which you may try with your daughter)

Welcome and Good Luck.

Nov 08, 2010
Rating

Moved to tears.
by: Awinegard

I can't help but just cry everytime I read these passages and feel such a kinship and understanding with everyone's stories. My one year old has just recently been diagnosed with SPD. We will be starting OT tomorrow! She has major melt downs, pulling out her hair, slamming her head, etc. It breaks my heart that I can't do something! Then there are times that I feel that I am the crazy one, when family says there is nothing wrong with her. I always reply you are right there isn't anything 'wrong' with her, she has a sensory processing disorder. Thank you everyone for sharing! I need to know that we are not the only ones dealing with these issues. Thank you!

Aug 31, 2010
Rating

Support
by: Anonymous

I have a 3 year old with SPD including all senses. We have done so well to create this amazing team for him at such an early age and yet it is EXHAUSTING!!! Support for parents is absolutely necessary. Some days nothing gets done except bare basics because of meeting the demands of my son's needs. We have a back pack that carries a variety of sensory tools for him and it goes everywhere. In each vehicle we have a selection of tools as well. Staying 10 steps ahead of him and recognizing what direction he is headed in in order to re-direct him in different circumstances is ongoing within our family of 5. We are always tag-teaming so someone else can get something done.

Some tools include bubbles, a Thomas the train bubble blower combination whistle, a pull tube (party store), straws, cup with soft cover to chew and suck on, raisins, dried cranberries, exercise band, whistles, train whistle, a timer with a bell, a watch with a dinosaur or car on it, a favorite piece of fabric, a shaker, chewy toys. In the car we have a set of fisher price head phones for noise blocking, a portable dvd player for short episodes of favorite shows.

Just to know that I am not the only one who is dealing with this is such a help. I hope you find some of the tools listed in his sensory tool bag helpful too.

Jun 25, 2010
Rating

help for children with SPD
by: Anonymous

Hello Archie hello Melissa. Your stories are real! It is my reality. Courage for all of us with children with SPD. We must educate those who do not understand our children and their suffering, and we must help our children in every possible way.

Jun 24, 2010
Rating

Living it and Loving it..
by: JC

Our son has SPD, and he is just over two years old. He is sensory seeking, undersensitive to pain, oversensitive to foods and temperatures. Every day is an exercise in extremity..crashing, throwing, meltdowns, jumping, rolling,... Top all that off with an Expressive Language Disorder/Delay (he cannot speak). We decided (already) to homeschool, because his needs are so great for stimulation, and schools do not, can not, and often will not meet all the needs for SPD kids. Besides, kids with SPD do not have ANY impulse control - making contact with schools unaddressed problems of drug/alcohol use, weapons, and gangs more than scary for us.

We are building a therapy room for our son to cater to his sensory needs on demand, where we can work with him to increase some tolerances and help him learn to calm down when overstimulated. We are seeking SPD parent groups to join, and give speech therapy to our son regularly. Baby sign language has unlocked our little guys ability to communicate with us..and I highly recommend it to any parent of a child with SPD. It clearly helps bridging the communication gap, and eases much frustration in our little guy.

Stay strong, love each other, and above all, take time for yourselves as individuals AND time as a couple. Distance yourselves from those who judge or criticize. Learn to laugh at your unique and impulsive little one, and enjoy the ride.

Jan 15, 2010
Rating

help with SPD
by: Anonymous

I have read your story and can understand where you coming from, we have taking custody of a child when he was a yr old. He banged his head threw fits, and was always hurting himself, we put him in head start this year and found out that he has SPD, the headstart knew right away what was wrong I felt so bad because I thought he was just doing these things and misbehaving out of anger and we took away toys he threw and even done time out nothing seemed to work, certain noises he would stand and and scream at the top of his lungs, he only will wear certain underwear, theres days he just cries though out the day for know reason, and then day he clings to us. If there is any advice that any one can help us with please feel free to do so. thank you

Jan 08, 2009
Rating

Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you, just thank you. I am in tears, that is my child to a tee. Thank you.

Dec 04, 2008
Rating

You are on the right track!
by: M. Harris

I hope that things have become more clearer for you now. I have an eight yr old little boy with SPD, his preschool teacher read an article about SPD and felt comfortable enough to point out that this looked like our son.

After evaluations, etc he was diagnosed and we began understanding him. He is a terrific kid that goes to O.T. and is always progressing. He is very, very intelligent about the things that he loves and someday hopes to be in a college marching band There is hope!

Be prepared to fight for your little girl, you are her BEST advocate. Good Luck!

Monica

Dec 03, 2008
Rating

Thank God I'm not alone!
by: Sheryl

Reading your posts has brought me so much comfort. My daughter has always been horrible when overstimulated--meltdowns that lasted an hour with her kicking and spitting, screaming, and completely out of control.

She is now in kindergarten and she seemed OK for the first few weeks, but then they switched teachers on her and now her symptoms are all back. She complains about her "bumpy" underwear and tries to take it off in school, she refuses completely to wear socks or snow pants (we live in Wisconsin!), she has been pulling her hair out and biting her nails, sleeping badly and having meltdowns a couple of times a week.

The teacher and principal and the whole staff of the school are being unbelievable supportive, but it's so stressful! We are seeing a child psychologist who thinks it might be ADHD, but we're going to have her tested for SPD if it's not ADHD or she might have both.

I'm so stressed out I can hardly sleep or eat and every time the phone rings, I jump a foot in the air for fear that she's gone into a meltdown again. If I hadn't found this site, I think I might have dissolved into tears on a daily basis.

With three kids & a full-time job, managing her symptoms and being an advocate for her in school has been very hard. We are doing everything we can for her because we love her so much and she's the most wonderful child when she's not all freaked out about her sensory issues, but I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all turn normal.

Nov 30, 2008
Rating

You are on the right road!
by: Anonymous

Everything is going to be OK! My son is 6 and we've been there done that!!! Believe it or not, he has improved markedly once he started going to kindergarten! The changes in the last year have been factors better! We were afraid to "unleash" him on his unsuspecting teacher, but she's a tough cookie, and she's handling him great, with some assistance from our school's OT. I was even contemplating home schooling because I thought, public school will be a disaster!!

I'll never forget how his teacher had never heard of SID before, and we were like, "here we go!!!" But it's amazing how things work out. I think having my son in an environment all day long where he can see how other kids act has been HUGELY good for him. His school work is great. He's had some behavior issues - he doesn't understand other people's space, etc., but his "red marks" at school are consistent -- we are working on those.

I hear you about the seasonal clothing changes! Yikes! When its time to dress in pants and long sleeve shirts watch out! He still wears his crocks to school with no socks, and its like 40 degrees out! You really end up picking your battles.

Have compassion for your child and YOURSELF! Don't be too hard on yourself - I think of it as we're navigating a cave complex with one candle - just do the best you can, no matter how quirky the two of you have to become, ignore other parents that have all of this advice because their children are "perfect" - ugh I hate that! You are running your own race! Love and compassion is what wins it!

Nov 06, 2008
Rating

SPD
by: Anonymous

Good luck to you as well!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Real Stories Of SPD

Dealing with a SPD Child...

Comments for Dealing with a SPD Child...

Comments for
Dealing with a SPD Child...