I have a 12 yr. old son that pulls fits and hits, kicks and screams and stuff.....

by Cindy

he can't wear clothes or shoes and socks,sometimes he can't wear anything at all most of the time he wears just underwear he is home schooled over the internet but it's hard to get him to do his work although every time he has went to school his teachers all say he is very very smart. He was just diagnosed with anxiety and sensory problem

But our insurance won't pay for it so I guess he won't get any help. It upsets me that they don't because it is so hard on him and the rest of us he cries and wants to know why he is that way he says he don't want to be that way and if things don't go his way he gets angry too. The kids he plays with knows he gets angry and they know what buttons to push to make him angry they have even admitted to me they like to see him pull his fits and I tell them not to do that but they do anyway it makes me so mad I can't stand it. When he is not like that he is very good and loving.

Does anyone know how I can get him the help he needs? Also I slip him calms forte` in his drink a couple times a day and that seems to help alot and it is all natural too.

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Some more ideas
by: Anonymous

You should also chart what triggers the fits. Does it happen especially often when there is a change in the weather? after a poor night's sleep? Does light or sound trigger them sometimes? Sitting still too long? When your son is calm, coach him to start thinking more flexibly- like asking him what happens if something does not go as planned or what happens if it does.

Also ask him to tell you how he is feeling and reinforce that you love and support him and you know that he is not acting bratty- and that he is just reacting incorrectly to what he is feeling from SPD.

During the day, take sensory breaks- have him do something physical (even if it is in his underwear) like jumping, bouncing on a big exercise ball, nailing and pounding projects, stirring in cooking, chopping, sweeping the floor, vacuuming, playing with the dog, etc. Often my DD (who is very tactile defensive and 11,) needs sensory breaks during the day to get back on track.

I allow my DD to de-stress in her comfy clothes or nightgown when she has had a particularly challenging day. Hugs and rubbing her face, legs, back also helps. Try this and also using a small hand held massager may work. In OT sessions you will also learn brushing techniques- using a soft surgical plastic brush- this may or may not help. Also sleeping under weighted or heavy blankets may help.

Keeping reading this site for more hints and ideas on clothes etc and search for other support sites.

You are not alone and many people are willing to share ideas.

You sound like a great mom and please don't get discouraged. Think in small steps and celebrate any good things!

Some ideas
by: Anonymous

Ask your doctor for a prescription to see an OT for a diagnosis for Sensory Processing Disorder. Once your son has a diagnosis, see if your insurance company will help pay for the OT treatments. If not seek help through public agencies. Or try to save up for a few OT sessions and work with the OT to develop at home therapies- brushing, deep breathing, sound recordings, etc. Check out your local library for the book "The Out of Sync Child" and any other books mentioned in the SPD store link (see left side bar).

You son is old enough to understand that he has tactile defensiveness as part of SPD. Explain to him what sensory processing is all about.
You need to work with him to identify the very sensitive areas that bother him when wearing clothes. Also let him know that he is not the only one who has SPD of this type. He is not alone struggling with this.

Then when the time is right go shopping and try on every type of clothing for comfort. Let your son tell you if they feel OK. Socks turned inside out, or sandals, loose clothes from the thrift store, wash, wash, wash, everything and maybe line dry them so they stay loose. Try gym or yoga pants for waist problems and sleeveless tops is needed. The important part is listening to what your son tells you about clothes when he is calm and understands that you will work together with him.

During this shopping trip- if he is getting frustrated, then it's time to end the trip and try again on another day.

Once you find some comfortable clothing- then immediately start a program of habitation- 10 to 15 minutes of wearing the clothes for 3-4 days. Then on the 5th, 6th, 7th,days go for 20-30 minutes- have your son do something that is very distracting and the habitation time will go faster.

Initiate a reward system for doing this and wearing comfortable clothes longer and longer. Make the reward something that your son, really, really wants, and make habitation the way to achieve it. You will soon realize that your son needs a very long time to get dressed, allow for this- also getting dress while watching TV, which is distracting will help.

your son
by: Anonymous

Hi, my son is only 6 so I'm really not sure how things will be for him at 12 but if I were you I would keep pushing the doctor to get a medical diagnosis and keep trying to get the insurance to cover some OT. As far as the kids he plays with I'm not sure I would let my son be around them very much if they were purposely upsetting him. My son gets upset and yells, but mostly at his brother, but I worry how he will learn to function as he gets older. I guess all we can do is love our kids and try to get them all the help we can. Hang in there and be an advocate your him. :)

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