Just realizing at 37 years of age that I myself could very well have a severe disorder and ADHD

by Tara
(Merrimack, N.H.)

Just realizing at 37 years of age after helping my DXed at the age of 3 struggle to receive his H.S. dip. that I MYSELF COULD VERY WELL HAVE A SEVERE DISORDER AND ALSO ADHD.As long as I remember, I was labelled as " a behavioral issue child, a defiant trouble maker adolescent, and teen, a er-responsible young adult, and finally MENTAL CASE. I've either quit or got fired from every job I've had. I never took to authority well. I jump, like a freak, when ever I hear certain noises, I will panic if I'm not comfortable, in my clothes or my surroundings, even if a light is too bright. I hate crowded places, and I've been judged as a drama queen psycho probably 5000 times in my life.

I think about how I think I've failed at everything in my life, my children, my marriage, my dad, my sister, and The one person who was the core of soul, my best and only friend, the one that never labeled or judged "my mom" last December 10th of 2010 I got a phone call from my sister around 8:30pm that my dad went to check on her b/c she had been very ill which that's what he thought, and she was laying in her bed lifeless. I knew it was gonna happen but it WAS LIKE I WAS IN A 100 FT HOLE SCREAMING UP AT MY FAMILY and they either blocked it out or were in some kind of intense denial!!

Anyway, my life has crumbled i can not function make a decision, follow through with anything, people are just saying its depression. Yes I'm a lost little girl w/o her mom but I can't help but to think that her health triggered my undiagnosed SPD..... Now what to do?