Unsure

by jessica
(ny)

i have been trying to figure out how to help my 3 yr old son for quite some time now. his biggest issues are getting dressed. he won't wear certain clothes but it's not always consistent. for ex:he wants to wear jeans all the time or he wants to wear sweatpants "comfy pants" all the time. it's rare to mix it up. when it comes to what he wears to bed though he doesn't mind putting on pajamas and taking the jeans off.


also, when he has his shoes on (which he doesn't like to take off and at one point wouldn't but we've gotten through that to the point where he usually doesn't wear shoes in the house) he gets major anxiety and says "something isn't right fix it!" he wants his pants pulled down as far as possibly over his shoes a certain way. and when he sits and notices they slide up it bothers him like crazy.

he doesn't like things tight around his neck like a pull over hoodie or a dress up cape strap. when we are getting ready to leave the house, even if it is somewhere he wants to go, he gets major anxiety because of the getting dressed part. he would wear the same shirt every day if he could but that's not practical. i don't think it;s him just being stubborn though i feel like it's because he likes the way it feels on him. i really feel like he has a sensory processing problem of some sort because it's like a switch is flipped and his anxiety goes through the roof and he can't handle it.

i find myself getting very frustrated because he just goes into what some would see as a "tantrum mode" kicking and screaming and crying but i remind myself that i don;t think he can help some of it. what can i do to help him cope with these issues that doesn;t result in him wearing the same clothes all the time or being uncomfortable?

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Mar 05, 2014
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SIMILAR ISSUES WITH MY SON
by: Anonymous

Hello, well I want to say I understand what you are going through and I am sorry. It is extremelyhard to deal with this kind of thing day in and day out. I know.

My son is similar. He had a hard time changing from one thing to another. So, had a hard time getting out of pajamas to get dressed and had a hard time from getting out of regular clothes to pajamas. I am not sure why. He does have SPD and has been in OT from 18 months to 3 years old. I can say that I didnt really notice a difference with OT vs. now that he no longer qualifies for OT, except now he can stand to have things on his hands like finger paints and shaving cream, etc. Which to me is not a big deal. Its the behavior and tantrum type whenever we had to get dressed or get ready for bed. He also hates to be washed with soap and has a fit for that, and until recently hated for me to put on lotion on him. So, these are the things that have helped me with him. Hopefully something here will help you. With the lotion thing I finally got him to let me put on lotion by massaging him with it. This takes time so it is hard if it is a busy time and I dont have much time but it does help overall. The clothes thing I have tried the love and logic technique which is giving him choices. So, I take out two shirts and say do you want to wear this one or this one. He gets to choose. If he ignores me or doesnt choose then I choose the one I think he doesnt want. It usually works. I do that with his pants and shoes too. Or when putting on his shoes I say do you want to put on the left one or right one first. Do you want to put on your shirt or pants first. Then again if he doesnt answer I give him a warning and say ok, Im going to choose if you dont and I give him 10 seconds. Its weird it seems to distract him enough that I can get him dressed. Its a lot of work but it is so much better then holding him down to get him dressed or hear him screaming.

It would break my heart and I dreaded getting ready in the morning or going to bed. It has been progressively getting better overall. Some days he will still complain about something about his clothes and I still cannot get him to wear short sleeves - only long sleeves these days but its still better. I hope this helps. It takes some getting use to. I now do that for everything. Do you want to go to the potty now or in 2 minutes. Do you want to wash your hands in my bathroom or yours, do you want to take your car with you to the potty or leave it here. Do you want to read this book or that book before bed. Its hard sometimes but it works. Try it out. Good luck!!!!

Mar 05, 2014
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unsure how to dress
by: Anonymous

If your son has found some clothes that are comfortable for him, go with it. Einstein had a whole wardrobe of the exact same outfit, which he wore day and night. A tantrum, caused by being uncomfortable, is much more noticeable than wearing the same outfit all the time. It could just be a phase. Maybe this time next year, he'll like something completely different. By that time he may have a better vocabulary to tell you what he likes or doesn't like about his clothes.

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