26 years old and still struggling with food

by Becky
(Indiana)

I am a 26 year old female with severe food issues. I knew it was something more than just being picky.I have tried to overcome these issues my entire life. For the life of me, I cannot get over new textures, new tastes, or new smells. There are too many to get used to. As odd as it sounds, I get overwhelmed when I bite into a new food, often leading to gagging. Since I have dealt with it my whole life, I know my own breaking point. And I hate to gag in front of people because it is humiliating that a food item that everybody eats daily/weekly makes me gag. I can only manage to eat red delicious apples (skinned), white potatoes (skinned), corn, and maybe a banana. That is all the fruits and veggies I eat. That's it! And my meals consist of plain pork chops, plain chicken breast, plain noodles with cheese, scrambled eggs, pancakes, french toast, a deli sandwich (which is only turkey and a slice of cheese), or a grilled cheese sandwich. It is very boring, repetitive, and been old.

I am very malnourished in my own opinion. I am 5'7'' and only weigh 120 lbs. I have little muscle and my wrists have not grown since the 4th grade. (My Mickey Mouse watch still fits on the same hole on the strap.)

It is a daily struggle to eat. If I could live and not eat food, I would. Every meal creates great anxiety for me and a feeling of failure. I want to eat healthy. I want to feel energized. I want to feel normal. And yet, I can't or don't know how to overcome this.

I have a 10 month old daughter who is eating the baby food out of a jar. She gags and refuses to eat Cheerios or infant snacks like these things called puffs. She will gag when they start to stick to her fingers! Concerned, I contact the pediatrician and he said that by 12 months of age if she still won't eat crunchier or thicker foods that I need to take her to a food therapist.

I 'googled' food therapist and it came up with related links and I stumbled upon this sight. I could not believe what I was reading! I was thrilled! I shared it with my husband and I had to call my mom.

I want to live for my daughter. I am terrified to die young because of the malnourished state I'm in. I need to overcome this. I can't teach my daughter how to overcome her high sensitivity if I haven't figured it out myself.

I don't even know what anyone can do for treatment for this. Or who to go to. If there's little known out there about this then there's little known treatment. How do I find someone out there who's willing to work with me?