9-year old Aspie Daughter w/ SPD won't go to school
(Redwood City, CA, USA)
We are having a problem with our 9-year-old daughter who has Asperger's and SPD. In the fall (of 2011), about 6 weeks after the start of the new school year, she started throwing tantrums in the mornings before school. She is in 3rd grade. For many weeks (about 5) my husband had to drag her, kicking, screaming, scratching, biting, and hitting (that's her doing those things, not my husband!), to school. No reinforcements worked. We tried every reward we could think of. Nothing helped.
Finally, since her self-esteem was going down the tubes as fast as her tactile-defensiveness was skyrocketing out of control, we had her psychologist write a letter excusing her from school for a few months. During the time my husband was dragging her to school, she would not go into the classroom once arriving at school. She would finally go into the school office, and usually it would take 1-2 hours before she would go into the classroom. Another thing to know about my daughter - she is ahead academically, and she is NEVER has any behavior problems in the classroom.
No one knows for sure, but I think that my daughter's behavior is due to her SPD, and that with 30 kids in the classroom, and the increased rigorousness of 3rd grade work over 2nd grade, that she is just not tolerating the classroom environment. I think that she needs sensory breaks built into her day. We are filing for an IEP, but I keep hearing that since she is ahead academically and never has behavior problems, we have a snowball's chance in heck of getting one.
My main question is, what do I ask for in her IEP? People keep telling me to ask for everything she needs, but I don't know what she needs! Along with the sensory breaks, does she need an aide to do those with her? Is that typical? I don't know if she needs anything else.