A Terrifying Experience

by Ronald Mitchell
(Arizona)

The way that everyone experiences, who has, SPD, is different on some level. For me, well... I haven't quite figured out just why it happens.




When it's too loud, or too quiet, or I'm too relaxed, or too tired, or even if I'm being active. There are times I feel that too much is going on, or too little in some instances. What I experience is a little thing I like to call "Tracers". Hate the things but... They seem rather permanent and aggressive.

Whenever I experience this, at any time, the best way I can describe the feeling is repetition (of Sight, Sound and Feeling). Like, for example, take a computer and turn on the Mouse Trails option for your Mouse. Every movement is repeated, therefore I become sensitive and suddenly I don't like life as much anymore and I just. Want. To. Get. Out.

If it starts off too bad, I begin to panic, and even still I have to actively keep telling myself that "I'm in control," that "Everything will be alright". But that's not how it feels. Because when these happen, I have exactly no memory of any current events or anything. It's like somebody formatted my hard drive -- that my memories are gone and will never come back. And it seems like it lasts hours when, in reality, sometimes only lasts anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 hours.

Please, somebody help me. This is really distracting and getting progressively harder to deal with...

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Adult SPD .