At my wits end

I have an almost 4 year old daughter who is a monster. I love her with all of my heart, she can be a really wonderful child at times, but when she's angry or upset it's literally pure hell. Often times she'll be playing with her siblings and just hit them for no reason (7 1/2 year old brother and 2 1/2 year old sister). When she's upset she screams and is complete inconsolable, she's even tried hitting my husband or me when we're trying to talk to her. When she's angry/upset you can talk to her, touch her, nothing works.

I've tried everything I can think of and nothing works. We've tried reward charts, rewarding good behavior, I try not to make a huge deal out of poor behavior, we've taken away special treats and toys, we've done time outs, we've even spanked. Nothing works.

She's always hungry. She stayed the night with my mom and for breakfast ate 4 eggs and hashbrowns, 2 bowls of cereal, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast. She always eats like that, but she's a very healthy weight for her height.

I just don't know what to do. We have an appointment with her doctor next week. I'm hoping we might get some answers.

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Sep 25, 2012
Sensory integration help
by: Anonymous

Dear mom

You are NOT alone. What helped my 5 year old is
A Sensory Diet. I suggest reading The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, Revised Edition
Just by taking a few steps, making some changes
In home, outside of home your world will improve

Occupational Therapy helps tremendously
It helps there brain!!! I notice on our way home
In the car!!!
Good Luck!!

Apr 22, 2012
Troubled but not alone
by: Anonymous

We have also tried time outs with my son. He is 7. He is an awesome student at school, but at home is a totally different story.
I have always been a spur of the moment kind of gal, so I am having to learn to try to structure my activities according to what is best for my son and daughter.

I have told "I hate you" by my son. When he tells me that, I just tell him "I love you". One day he told me that he hated me more than I love him. That really hurt.

Getting dressed in the mornings and ready for bed in the evening really triggers the outburst.
I too am waiting for another eval with behavioral specialist. I have just sent out the paperwork after an appointment with a doctor, so now it is the waiting game.

Mar 24, 2011
I don't want to hate my child
by: Anonymous

I am at my wits end with my son, he is also an angel then suddenly turns into an absolute monster, he hits his older brother (11) kicks the dog, hits and bites me, and seems to have no clue or care about how it is hurting us.
He has started pushing and shoving the kids at school, including the bigger kids.
It is such a relief to now I am not alone with my monster, I love him dearly but really don't like him very much at all.

He has an assessment tomorrow for sensory integration therapy, and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel

Nov 09, 2010
aggression hurts everyone
by: jami

my daughter kaylee has been diagnosed with sturge weber syndrome and she is now almost four she is beautiful smart and very loving, UNTIL SHE GETS UPSET. she its everyone i think as a way to get attention she hits students in her pre-k class she throws herself into people and always wants to wrestle . she gets on her baby brother and attempts to poke his eyes constantly and if given the chance would do so with a pen or some object. no matter what we say to her or how we punish her for it she does not understand what her actions do to other people or how she could seriously hurt her seven month old brother. even i get beat up by her. her father does not get hit by her except for the occasional run by slap but she screams and hits her head and slaps herself. she always grinds her teeth i dont know what to do anymore or how to feel who wants to say that they cant even stand to be around their own child sometimes.

Oct 18, 2010
Try This...
by: Betty, Vancouver BC

We used to have the same with our daughter. Nothing we tried worked with her. Eventually I found answers in the work of Gordon Neufeld, a developmental psychologist in Vancouver, BC. His approach is not about what you can do to your child but rather helps you to change the way you understand your child's behavior.

Once I could understand what was driving her to be the way she was I was able to help her. Our way of disciplining her changed completely and living with her now is like living with a different child.

I would urge you to take a look at Gordon Neufeld or search him on You tube. He has Power To Parent dvds that help you through the process. A good one to start with is titled "Relationship Matters" and after viewing that you will know if this way is the one for you. He also has a dvd titled "Making sense of Aggression" which totally changed the way I reacted to my daughter's attempts to hit me.

All the very best on your journey,

Oct 17, 2010
My Son's the same!
by: Rachel

I totally understand how you're feeling, as my son's behaviour is exactly the same and I have no idea what to do either! At least there is comfort in knowing we are in the same boat, misery love company after all!

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