Can't Wear Clothes
Since I was young I've always had a very difficult time wearing certain clothing items. Socks and underwear were my biggest struggle as a child. I could only wear a certain brand of underwear, and even then sometimes I would stretch and stretch the waist band until I popped all the stitching or tore the elastic.
Putting on shoes was a task. It could take 20 minutes to find a pair of socks I could tolerate, then mess with them or turn them inside out and back 50 times before being able to tolerate the way they were laying on my feet. I could only wear one pair of stretchy comfortable pink pants, and basketball shorts with waste bands that were too big.
Seat belts in cars bothered me, wrinkles in bed sheets, the way the carpet felt under neath my feet, the list goes on.
In Junior High and High School it got a lot better, clothes became easier to wear. Things still bothered me but it was tolerable and I wish I knew what caused that change.
Now I'm 21 and I am to the point where most things make every cell in my body feel like it's about to explode. I want to cry all the time. Seams, tags, the way a material feels or lays on me. I can't handle waist bands, or jeans. I can wear only leggings that are the same feeling
of tight all the way up. I haven't worn padded bras in years and a couple years ago I cut bras out completely. I have one brand of seamless underwear that I can tolerate and socks are still the daily struggle.
I have so many sweaters, shirts, and tanks and depending on the day maybe one will feel okay. In the winter I can't wear coats or layers, so I put on my warmest sweatshirt that i can tolerate and try to keep warm.
Jewelry bothers me, the way hair pins or elastics pull on my hair bothers me, and I can even feel nail polish if I paint my nails.
I'm to the point where I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what causes it and it's making me very depressed. Did I mention that I'm extremely into fashion? So not only do my clothes cause me to reach an explainable discomfort that takes over all of my thoughts and feelings. I then am so upset at myself at that point for not being able to wear the new extremely cute sweater that I spiral down a path of self loathing.
If anyone has taken the time to read this, Thank you. I'd love to know if anyone experiences anything similar and if anyone has any advice. I don't know how I can handle this any longer.
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