Clothing issues

by Lisa
(Delaware)

My daughter is 9 years old and was diagnosed with SPD at 3. It began with her shoes and clothes. She would scream if certain outfits were put on her. She would say "it is too bud". I thought she was just being a "pain".




Most of her issues deal with clothing and shoes. She still doesn't wear underwear. We have never been able to find any to fit her just "right". Every morning is a challenge in getting something on her that she can handle.

She has been diagnosed with ADD and is taking Adderall to help with the attention problems. She excels at school.

I am beginning to really worry about her. She is beginning to say things like "I hate my skin". I don't know what to do to help her. We have tried some sensory diet activities. They help some but I feel like we should be doing more for her.

Any suggestions?



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Sep 08, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Things get better
by: Anonymous

My advice would be to let go of your expectations. Always let your child pick their clothes, never buy anything they aren't sure of (you are wasting your money) and never force them to wear anything they say is bothering them or their day and yours will be ruined. It is a neurological issue and all the wanting them to dress "normal" or "just try it" isn't going to make it better. I did all of it.

The only thing that works is trying to understand how bad and all encompassing those sensations can be. When nothing else worked, my daughter spent five years in Gildan t-shirts. She has slowly found other things that she could tolerate and we have finally almost made it to college where she won't have to wear sleeves.

I wish you the absolute best of luck!
Jun 21, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		Update
by: Anonymous

I wrote of my son having these problems with all his clothing pieces and myself as well from at least 12 years on.

I'm writing today because I got a tip from a friend who has another friend that said she took her 2 year old to a chiropractor who had extra studies in neurology. Everything online points to occupational therapy. 3 pediatricians have told me to take my son to them. So we went for an eval with OT. They wanted to start with dry brushing. So I came home and did it to myself. No THANK YOU. The irritating, zapping of the brain sensations that normally occur were replaced with my skin burning instead. Pass on that for my 7 yr old he'd never trust me again if I took him for that.

Luckily, I found exactly what I was looking for in a chiro near me. In fact, her focus is on ADHD, Asperger's and Autism in children. We are only 2 sessions in so not a lot of change as of yet. Also, she is in our insurance network however, her rates for children make it less than if we ran insurance. She did notice some mis-alignment. I am hopeful and so is she that we can correct his alignment and see improvement. I would call his level severe. He can't just wear anything. It's not about fabrics and he's been tested for sensitivity/allergies to dyes by a dermatologist. I'll also just throw in that I spoke briefly with a seasoned behavioral specialist (because Google told me to) and she said it sounded like Asperger's. I wanted to share this info about trying a chiropractor, with specialized influence on neurology, because in my several years of Googling and talking to pediatricians NO ONE, NO WHERE has mentioned chiro of any sort. 20 years ago, I heard of how the mis-alignment of spin can pinch nerves. Never did I consider doing this until my friend mentioned that it WORKED (!!) for her 2 year old. It's a new avenue and it's worth a try. The cost of our evaluation (without going through insurance) was $45 and each alignment visit is $15. Very reasonable.
Jun 20, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		I have this and what I have learned
by: Anonymous

For me I have had sensory issues since I was super little. I didn’t wear jeans till 8th grade and would only wear sweatpants. I also can only wear socks inside out cause of the little seam. I’m very specific on the sheets I have and blankets, I’ve had the same top sheet since I was 7 and I need it to sleep. I also wouldnt wear bras till it was completely necessary and hated it. For me sports bras worked the best and it was only ones with certain fabrics.

For anyone with teenagers and dealing with school dress codes, for me I found something I liked and would order multiple in different colors but the same style and fabric. My sensory issues change from time to time but fabric is a big deal. I’ve found that soft but tight clothes work best for me and if it’s a time where it’s necessary to wear something that is completely awful I wear clothes under it. I did rotc in high school and had to wear a uniform so I would wear leggings and a long sleeve or shirt sleeve under the tops so I would feel safer and it would take away some anxiety.
May 13, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		I'm 43 and have it
by: Anonymous

I'm 43, female and have sensitivity to mostly underwear. Takes several tries and often I choose by which feels the best out of how many I've tried on. It started around 12 yrs. I always assumed everybody dealt with clothing the same as I.

Now I have a 7 yr old boy with it much worse. We've been through but it's constantly changing... all the pieces of clothes as being an issue at different times. The most resilient area being socks. I'm commenting on this forum to tell parents who do not know what your child is feeling, why it's causing a tantrum or why they just can't put the clothes on and be done.... it's a real thing. My brain feels like it is getting zapped or pinged until the clothing "feels" acceptable. Imagine you left too much on the end of your sock at your toes and just jammed you foot into your sneaker. Your brain will tell you it doesn't feel good.

It doesn't keep me from living a normal life. It's just irritating until the brain and skin are working in unison. That takes time for different people. Some sites say 1-3 hours. The younger the child the harder. My son, doesn't understand when I say, you have to tell your brain that it's okay now. It takes what it takes. I'm researching occupational therapists for him.

I've also read that sensory and lack of B12 in children run together so I've found a vitamin that focuses on all the the B vitamins and meets the required amount per day for his age according to a sensory website.

I'm 43, you don't always grow out of it. You have to manage it. That's why Occup Therapy is next.
Dec 15, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sensory Processing Disorder
by: Anonymous

My daughter is now almost 20 and still has issues with clothing. We have been through the same clothing issues as you describe.

When she was about 8, we were able to access an OT who gave us some suggestions for a sensory diet. These activities helped.

When she was about 10, we sought out help from a child psychiatrist who prescribed risperdone. This helped tremendously. She still takes it but continues to have ups and downs with the way her skin feels. And continues to be very particular about the clothing she wears.

Hang in there.
Nov 27, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Help
by: Anonymous

My daughter is now 12, but did not develop this issue till about the age of 8. It's getting worse, I take her shopping but nothing. She has a dress code at school and I am down to 2 shirts that she will wear, If I don't find more I don't know what will happen when those give out.

She also doesn't like to wear bras. I am taking care of 4 kids and it is hard to do a load of laundry everyday and fork out the money for these clothes, she won't like when we get home.

She is currently going to counseling but the counselor brushed me off when I mentioned SPD.

Where can I go to get her some help, I also believe that she has PTSD. Thanks
Jan 09, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		APD Adult who has a SPD Child
by: Anonymous

I, like others, am an adult who remembers how tough my childhood was as a kid who had SPD but it was never heard of back then. My mother and I got into so many fights and I felt like such a wierdo because of my issues.

I'm 33. I do not wear jeans, can not wear certain socks, and mostly stick to gym clothes (yoga pants and stretchy shirts that do not inhibit movement) to survive. I also have auditory issues with tapping,chewing, ticking etc, and also problems with repetitive sights like leg bouncing.

Even as an adult I have had episodes where I can't escape some overload and will literally melt down (I go to my car or bathroom if I'm at work. Planes and public transportation can be nightmares). My whole childhood I was made to feel like a bad kid so when I had a child who had it I was pretty sympathetic.

I find what she can handle (leggings and baggy cotton shirts) and I'll buy one in every color. Her young years were hard fights for shoes or any clothes to be worn, but shes 11 now and can verbalize more. We keep earplugs on hand for noises out in public that bother and noise cancelling headphones so she can eat dinner with the family and she also takes them to sleepovers.

My advice, your kids are overwhelmed by what bothers them, so find the things that do work and stick to them even if they aren't typical. We lived in Illinois and it would be 20 degrees out and there she was with her thin leggings and sneakers.

Whatever. She would rather be cold than be freaking out from overload.
Dec 07, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		?
by: Anonymous

My 6 year old has issues with clothing since the age of 4 or 5. He hate having his socks pulled all the way up and it cant touch his toes! Also i had to cut the tags of some of his pants ages ago because he said it irritated him. And if his clothes get a tiny bit wet he has to taje it off straightaway.

Im not sure whats wrong i just put it down to being fussy until i read somewhere about sensory to clothes.
Sep 10, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Here is some bralettes
by: Anonymous

bralettes
Sep 10, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Bra issues
by: Melissa

What is a bralette and where can i get one?
Sep 07, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		response to bra concern
by: Anonymous

How about a bralette. They are much looser than a regular bra.
Sep 06, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Bra issues
by: Melissa

My daughter has been sensitive about her clothing since she was 3. She won't wear jeans. She has problems with her shoes and socks. She is now 8 and beginning to develop breasts and refuses to wear a bra because they are to tight.

What can I do about this?
Jan 03, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Suggestions
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 8 and has add, and I am assuming she has sensory issues based on her behavior when it comes to clothing. Her favorite clothes are hand me downs or thrift store, worn in, soft and loose! I never realized why until recently.

I bought her a bunch of cotton long sleeved shirts and she can't stand them. Wants nothing to do with them. She just this year wore some jeans, that was a big deal. That lasted about a month and she preferred her black leggings instead.

The sock thing used to be an issue but thankfully not anymore, for the most part. I've found that loose clothing and letting her go barefoot in her shoes helps a ton with the struggle. If it's not freezing and they aren't getting blisters, don't worry about socks.

There's a new company called LuLaRoe that has soft clothes comfy material, try finding a consultant and see if your child likes it. That's my next step.

It's definitely frustrating but we have to remember they don't know why they feel the way they do and it is our job to make them comfortable. Good luck!!
Dec 07, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sensory issues
by: Anonymous

I've dealt with sensory issues since childhood, I"m now 30. Sensory with cloths lead to lots of insecurities, and my parents didn't understand, I was just difficult, and would grow out of it, anyways, long story short, I ended up developing anxiety, depression, got meds from doctor that didn't help, then with the help of friends with benzos, self medicated and became addicted to benzodiazepine…

After going thru pregnancy and coming to the realization that I didn't know who I was anymore(due to meds changing my personality) got off benzos and have been off for 2.5 years, yay for me!! Benzos really helped when clothes didn't fit right and my skin was crawling, but, like most meds have terrible side effects.

Now, I use yoga and mindfulness to help me in my moments of feeling trapped in uncomfortable clothes! I have a daughter who has similar sensory issues, and it helps to distract her from what is bothering her, the seam on her socks for instance, I say look at that painting on the wall (while putting them on) what's your favorite part of the painting…(anything to distract from the sock on her foot) and finish dressing her while distracted, usually she doesn't mention the sock there after, if she does I readjust and ask if the sock seam hurts, oh it just feels funny, so does mine, and that's ok! she relates to me having the same problem and follows my lead.

I guess what would have helped me as a kiddo was having a parent who related and acknowledged my sensory issues, ignoring them, in my case lead to more problems.
Jul 10, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Issue with seams
by: Anonymous

I wear my undershirts backwards because of the inside Seam. It's poking out onto my skin and I despise it. Any help? I'm 14 btw. i need to find a nice undershirt with a flat felled inside seam, but I can't find it! It's not that I hate seams, but I hate those overlocked/coverlocked seams.
Dec 27, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Comment
by: Anonymous

It sounds like it to me.
Dec 26, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Concerned mom
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 5 and a half years old and has always had an issue with clothes. She always says she has a "wedgie" with her underwear and it's not possible to have a wedgie when her underwear covers her entire butt. She has to pull her pants all the way up as far as they will go and then pick her "wedgie" and she'll cry until it's fixed enough for her.

She WILL NOT wear jeans. She cries as soon as she sees them. She has to pull her socks all the way until they're completely stretched. She has to pull down her sleeves completely on a long sleeved shirt because she can't stand them sliding up. And she has a hard time transitioning from summer to winter clothes because of the sleeve issue. She is just constantly complaining about her clothes.

She's never been diagnosed with anything but does this sound like SPD?
Dec 04, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Option for Clothing Not Optional :p
by: Anonymous

I am totally aware of how everyone on here is feeling. My parents just always told me I was ornery and defiant because I can't stand to wear clothes and never have. They make my skin crawl and clothes begin to feel like sand paper and I swear that I am scratched to pieces and bleeding but it is nothing....

I have taken MANY drugs in my years and they ONLY drug I have found that gives me any relief at all is Cymbalta. It has taken me 40 years to get a handle on this; I don't know if it is a drug that children can take but if it is and they are old enough I HIGHLY recommend giving it a try.

I also only get clothing with rolled seams (I met a girl in middle school that actually would make my clothes for me) and the new light weight really fleecy fabric and then there is also is really silky stretchy fabric that I can tolerate. I found early on since under garments bothered me so I would wear long flowing dresses so they has little touching to my skin and no one knew I didn't have panties on + if things got real bad there was enough fabric in the bottom of my dress to actually make myself a little tent where the clothing wasn't actually touching me (& I could feel pretty too cause it was like I was dressed up). Different weeks I can only wear a certain 1 and the other may bother me, but I switch to which one isn't hurting me and live another day.

I hope this post may help someone as I really "feel" for us all.
Aug 04, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		help is this spd
by: darnia

Hi, my daughter has just turned five and I am seriously worried about her. From she was a baby she had a temper and hated socks ago etc...i just put this down to a phase.

Then she hit toddler hood and obsessed over the socks, the seams had to be just right etc.. Hated labels on clothes, would scratch her skin.

Then preschool, well that was a whole new level, hated the feel of her underwear, always poking around her bum and constant hand washing also. So this settled after a while, but now we are back to the socks again.

I need to add that each time these phases kick in so does her extremely violent behaviour. Help!
Dec 26, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Little shopping ideas
by: Anonymous

My daughter is going on 12 ! I have listened to all your comments and feel your pain as a mom and as the one with SPF As I have been there as well and am going tomorrow shopping !! But just a few little tricks my daughter has taught me to help her :) don't dry her clothes hang to dry! She wears t shirts to bed! The socks we found the best right now are at Walmart cheapest kind ( yeahh) thin thin thin the store we are finding most of her clothes justice!

I know the only way my child has got through school is by finding someone in her school that has allowed her to hug them hard! When she was young I would ask the teacher if she would hug her whenever she saw her fidget ! She has been on several medications for 3 years but due to side effects we have had to stop them but it did help only because it gave her a sense of accomplishment! She can manage!! She still only wears two sets of clothes !

And it's a fight to get new underwear on! Oh underwear we have found ladies underwear better they are made with nicer material ( arie) hope this helps a little!!
Jun 20, 2014
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starstarstarstar 		This is a real thing!?!?!?!?!
by: Amanda

Just found this website today because I had to buy a new bra and I am ready to knock someone's teeth out!!! I am considering leaving work for the day because it is that bad.

Ugh, the feeling makes me frustrated and aggressive so I decided it was time to finally do some research... I'm about to turn 37 and I have been dealing with this since I was a kid.

I hate clothes that "touch" me...always have. Seams have to fall just right or I refuse to wear it. I can try things on and be OK but trying them on a 2nd time is usually a failure that ends up with items being returned to stores, and me having a meltdown like I was a 3 year old.

Nobody ever believed that I had an actual issue (even though I have been saying "I think I have some kind of sensory issue" for YEARS), I was just a "difficult kid". When I find something I can wear, I wear it until there are holes in it because I know its going to take FOREVER to find something to replace it with.

I wear only 1 brand of sneakers, I refuse to purchase clothing until my clothes are thread bare and falling apart. I have taken Zoloft (for an unrelated bout of "depression") when I was younger but nothing has ever worked for this issue for me.

I've been told so many times that I made it up in my head that I believed it and thought I was just crazy.

I am glad I found this page and have a base to start my research in earnest. Good luck to everyone dealing with this - it sucks! I commend the parents on here that are aware of their child's discomfort - my mom has always loved me but never believed me.
Jun 03, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sydney's mom
by: Sydney's mom

Thank you for your story Ariann!!!!! my 11yr old sounds exactly like you in everyway!!!!! we have her on Zoloft now and it helps a little, thank you again
Jun 02, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Dealing With SPD for 20 years
by: Ariann

Hi Guys , So i read a lot of your comments and as i can see , there is a lot of mothers that are concerned. Well maybe i can tell you what its like to live with SPD , for ,well , 20 years now.

First of all Im a 22 year old women and i started having issues with clothing at the age of 2 , couldn't get dressed... crying for hours, it started i thing with underwear and socks but it slowly escalated to everything else, so much that sometimes i would be in my basement crying not to get dressed. I had like 1 or maybe 2 outfits that i was able to wear and that was , without washing them cause i did not like the feel of the clean clothes. It was hell.

I was diagnosed at 5 with OCD and they told me thats what i had , but i never really seamed to connect with the OCD stories it was not like that , but anyway i was taking Zoloft and it helped a lot with the anxiety for like 10 years.

After that , the zoloft just did not work anymore ,it was back to the hell of wetting my clothes to make them feel better , stretching them , not wearing any underwear and i could go on and on.

The doctor gave me a new med called Pristiq and that Helped. Again a lot it worked fast and my anxiety is now well managed which helps me deal with everything.

Anyway what i want to tell you moms is , its not gonna be an everyday easy road and there is not really a miracle cure, its just going to be about learning to live a bit differently from the other ,just like a blind man would. It will become more and more manageable but the dark thoughts are always kind of there , but as you get older , you learn how to deal with those.

Im now happy and i take it day by day , some days are better than others but its like that for everyone. If i can give you a tip , dont pressure your child into wearing the clothes or anything it makes it so much worst , try to understand , tell them its ok and you will find a way to get through this , thats the thing that helped me the most i think , my parents.

It can make a huge difference =) Dont give up and good luck guys !
Nov 24, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		reply
by: Anonymous

My daughter is now 13. She started with sensory issues with clothing about age 3. We struggled for years. OT helped but the medication risperdal helped the most.

I remember after taking it for a week she said, "finally, my skin is calming down.". I think getting thru puberty has helped too. She doesnt have to take the riperdal as much anymore and just recently commented that she doesnt think she needs it anymore.
Nov 24, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		battle
by: jlp

My son is 9 now. His started around 3, sox didnt feel right by the toes,then it was shoe laces, then pant legs couldnt touch is ankles,then the waist line. then shirts no tags, collars. texture. Then i found pants and shirts to his liking this year. Everything was going great has the clothes part.

And all the sudden the clothes he liked , are his worst enemy. Scratching all over and shredding his clothes. He has been diagnosed with spd,odd,add,adhd. We are going to be starting OT on our own, not thru the school, They only could do little to help. So my Question is does OT really work, and residerall.
Jul 10, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Looking for advice
by: Mommy Looking for relief

I have a 4 year old daughter who is beginning to extreme sensory issues with clothing. It started with underwear. Then it moved to pants, and now its literally everything! In her words, "it hurts". Her underwear is two sizes too big and "it hurts".

When I attempt a shirt she will scratch and claw at her neck screaming that she is choking, something making herself physically sick. It takes me 2 hours everyday to try and get her to put clothes on.

School will be starting in a few weeks and she is making comments like, "I wish I could cut my feet off" and "I don't want to go to school anymore." Reading other posts, I have gathered that I definitely need to place a call to her doctor and maybe a therapist.

Any other suggestions?
Jun 19, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		LITTLE GIRL STRUGGLES WITH CLOTHES/SHOES
by: Anonymous

My little girl has had sensory issues with clothes/shoes/socks/buttoned pants/bathingsuits/underwear, well everything!!!!! since she was a toddler and she is now 9 and it has not gotten any better :( we have been thru OT brushing and psychiatry(anxiety meds/add meds)nothing has helped :( it's a struggle every single day :( any suggestions?????
Jul 19, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		medication
by: Anonymous

My daughter takes Risperdal 1.25 mg per day. I was leary about medication, but I really felt like I had exhausted all other possibilities. Let me say that it was the best thing that we did for her. She still has issues with clothing, but it is so much more manageable now.

Before the medication, she was very down on herself and she would say things like "I wish God hadnt made me this way." "I just want to be normal." She was beginning to have lots of self esteem issues and was becoming reclusive. I am not hearing things like that anymore.

When there are clothing issues, we are able to work through them in a calm manner. Good luck to you and I hope this helps. Post again if I can help you more.
Jul 18, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		more info please
by: Anonymous

would love more insight on the medication for anxiety. my son has SPD and has had a few years of OT. we've really outgrown or learned to overcome/deal with most of his weaknesses but clothing remains the biggest problem. he is bothered by pants around his waist no matter size/type we buy and now even shirts. his self esteem is getting worse and worse & he so wants to be normal. i hate to think of medicating him but if it will help, i'm all for it. please let me know more! thank you for sharing.
Jul 06, 2010
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starstarstarstar 		Fashion News
by: luciyahelan

My daughter would also rather be naked and sometimes she would come home from preschool and take her clothes off and just hang out. We accessed an Occupational Therapist and that helped. It didn't make the sensory issue go away, but OT made it manageable.

I learned to accommodate her clothing needs. If I find pants that work, then I buy 5 pairs and 5 shirts, etc.

She is now 10. I wish I could say the sensory issues were gone but they are not and last year was an extremely difficult year for her. I believe it was the onset of puberty. She could barely get dressed in the morning and was having frequent melt downs over her sensory issue.

Finally, I got in touch with a child psychiatrist who prescribed a anti anxiety medication and it has helped tremendously. The medication has not taken away the sensory issue, but it has made it manageable once again. We also continue with OT.

If I can be of more help, please post again.
Feb 01, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstar 		There is help
by: Lynn Rickert

I have 2 children with clothing issues because of SPD. Check into the Wilbarger brushing protocol. Find a speech therapist or occupational therapist that knows about it - the therapists at your daughter's school will either know about it be able to find out about it. They can do it at school.

It involves using a particular kind of soft bristled brush on the skin in a very specific way, followed by other movements called joint compressions. It is done at home every day. It begins at frequent intervals, spreading out as time goes on.

This therapy was a HUGE turning point in my kids' lives, making them more at ease in their skin. It is definitely worth the time and effort!

Lynn Rickert
Owner of Pedaling Backwards a wordpress.com blog

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