Diagnosed as a child, just found out as a college student.

So as a really small child (around 5 or 6) I remember having to go to therapy for some kind of speech impediment I had, but apparently I was tested for ADHD somewhere down the line, with the conclusion being that I had SPD. Unfortunately, my parents never decided to tell me this until I told them I was having trouble getting things done in college.

In high school, I always left assignments to the last minute because I was able to finish them in time, but not so for college. Reading through this checklist on this site, I can relate to a lot of things, especially under the social/emotional category. I always have this overwhelming feeling that something is going wrong, or that something is not right, and no matter what I do nothing will change. I'm nervous around people all the time, and as a result I only have a few friends, mostly ones who approached me. When confronted with something that makes me nervous or frightens me (usually irrationally so), my immediate reaction is to avoid it. And that's how I've lived my life, although it's ironic because I've avoided everything that makes life livable.

It drives me crazy because I can see these problems for a rational viewpoint and say to myself, "Why don't you just finish that email?" or "WHy don't you just talk to her?" But my brain just goes haywire and screams "I CAN'T." Now that I've looked over this list of symptoms, I'm 100% sure my mom has SPD, especially hypersensitivity to clothing, smells, noises, etc although I think she deals with all of that by being extremely organized and efficient. I just feel like if my parents had told me about this when i was a little kid, I could've learned to handle and cope with it. I always want to start over and live how I want, but I don't know how.

Thanks for reading.